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We've all been there. Friday night, eleven pints of lager and a kebab. It's been a great night. Then it's ruined by the way the taxi driver is dressed. Well the Council has decided to set a dress code and this is your chance to put your point of view. I believe a taxi driver should be immediately recognisable whether in his car or not. After all you can spot a minister in Stornoway at a thousand paces by his hedgear. Myself I think a Northstar boilersuit in orange always looks smart - the Guantenemo look and it is visible after dark. Perhaps teamed with green clogs to show no religious significance in the orange and to give show that we are integrated into Europe by wearing Dutch footwear.?Any other suggestions from JD's or other catalogues gratefully received. What happens on other islands? I hear the taxi drivers wear Armani suits in Lerwick. Fact or fiction.?We believed everything we were told at the Fank by those Shetland women.
Regards to fanksters everywhere.

Many of those who attended the Fank dating extravaganza in April were disappointed at the lack of souvenirs on sale. It was something Donald and I hadn't considered. But driven by consumer demand, Donald has put on his thinking cap (size 67/8) and come up with a winner - a Western Isles game of Monopoly. We have several ideas for locations to go on the board - where there are traditionally four utilities in Monopoly we are going instead for lighthouses one of which will have to be ARNISH at 拢1000. We also will have the traditional Ness landmarks of 'Emporio Alanjohn' and the 'I can't Believe its not Guga' factory. We need additional suggestions. We also need entries for the 'Chance' and 'Community Chest' cards to reflect island life and life on this site. We already have 'You have won a weekend in Auchenshuggle Collect 拢100' and 'The patterned wellies you got for Christmas are letting in - spend 拢10 on puncture outfit. It may be that each group of islands designs its own board in which case Sunny and Lerwick Street for example may want to set up their own blog. 'Visit Lamlash Art Store Cost 拢50'. Let's see where we can take this...

We are pleased to let everyone know we have booked LORDI the winners of the Eurovison Song Contest for next year's fank. Neither Donald nor myself have seen them as such but they sound like the sort of gospel band that might find favour with the religious element on the island.

There is a much publicised burial of Bibles in the Swainbost cemetery up and coming. When the JCB has finished it is coming to the fank site at South Dell where we have a large hole to fill. What book, film or DVD would you like to send us to bury?

Jeffrey Archer would be high on my list - we could bury the man himself if no books were available.
Jordan's autobiography? etc