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16 October 2014

calumannabel


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Jan 7 Gridlock in Stornoway

I went through to town from Ness yesterday for some haddock hooks, some six inch nails, a tin of sheep dip and some sun dried tomatoes. What a struggle getting into town and what a palaver finding a parking space. I had to park round the back of the sex shop in Francis Street, the only free space in the entire town, free presumably because everyone else is too embarrassed to be seen parking there. I went to this the most northerly branch of Heather Pie cos they were having a sale and got some very cheap long life batteries for the remote control on the TV at home. I also bought a pair of fur lined handcuffs so Donald can tie his bike outside the bochan without scratching the paintwork Once back on Bayhead there was a queue stretching almost to Woolworth's from the travel agents and another snaking off in the opposite direction finishing at the solicitors past the Heb. Apparently yesterday was the day when most people statistically book their holidays and/or file for divorce after the Christmas hostilities ( sorry holidays). I put and/or because some people spent the morning in both queues. One woman from Carloway filed for divorce at 10am and booked an 18-30 holiday in sunny Elgin a half hour later. Chrissie Mary has booked a week at Pontins Southport to coincide with the Wayne Fontana Tribute Tour and Donald is spending three days, for their part booked three weeks in The Maldives for all the staff on the strength of the projected profits. The head partner has to send out for hand cream at lunchtime for blisters he got rubbing his hands. Did any of the islands have activity on such a scale - I doubt it very much indeed?
Your man on the spot with the acid house green Tam O'Shanter and Arygll Wellies
Calum
Posted on calumannabel at 14:13

Comments

Great blogs, Calum, good to have a laugh in this Stornoway Grey weather. Your mention of the Wayne Fontana Tribute Tour reminds me of one of my claims to fame - I was at school with Wayne Fontana's cousin. Beat that if you can ...

Jill from EK


Above contribution .Should read 'Donald is pending three days all inclusive at Inverness to see Culloden the Musical . The solicitor and staff have booked three weeks in the Maldives etc etc \\\\\\\crikey it's like the Guardian for errors.

calum from Erratum on Tay


oh my what innocent fun there is to be had wondering what the heck 'haddock hooks' are ... :-) would you care to enlighten me before the imagination goes out of control ...??!!

soaplady from a fit of the giggles ...


I think the haddock hooks, sundried toms, six-inch nails and Sheepdip (which is a fairly decent bottle of Aussie red) are the ingredients for a local dish known as the Shawbost Stew. It takes real women to make it and real men to eat it! (See Peat Calendar 2008 for details).

Flying Cat from Fanny Haddock's back passage


Haddock hooks are what haddocks hang their coats on

calum from ness


When I lived in Shetland we had a shop in the village which could have supplied the entirety of your shopping list ( well tinned rather than sundried tomatoes, perhaps). It, the shop, revelled in the title J M G, General Merchant, which was odd in a couple of ways. The eponymous Mr G had long since passed on and the current proprietor was called Gavin and so the place was always called Gavin's. The "General" element of the title was also odd as generals seemed to be the only item not stocked. Needles and anchors could be had, if not in abundance, at least in certain sizes. 'Scuse me whilst I nod off again.....

Hyper-Borean from Ahhh! nostalgia.


Sheep hooks, of course, are what sheep hang their furs on. Left hooks are what Clinton hangs Obama on. And so it goes ...

mjc from NM,USA


Size 22 haddock hooks are what any self respecting rock fisher(person) ties to their 10lb breaking strain line to catch mackerel, saith or the occasional greedy dogfish. mjc we have a Sheepdip Whiskey here which I think may be distilled/blended/ruined somewhere in England. We have a politican ( term used advisedly here) called Prescott who is famous for his left hook.

captain hook from ness


That's about a 44" chest...

Flying Cat from a Manse field


Daughter tells me that Nigella Lawson will have an authentic recipe for the Shawbost Stew in her next book (autograph thrown in for free). Probably won't stand comparison with FC's genuine heirloomed concoction, and I suspect the photo display will be another case of untruth in advertising.

mjc from NM,USA


If there is a crazier set of comments to a crazier blogg than this in 2008, I will be very suprised (gratefully so). A grand BUrns Night to all anad sundry!

Barney from Swithiod round the bend


Calum always attracts the very highest quality of crazy comments, partly by grooming his commentors nicely, so that they continue to respond...unlike some bloggers who seem to think their work is finished once the original posting goes up...how little they know...

Flying Cat from grooming parlour


Burns night is come and gone. I am now waiting for the lunar new year. More sausages, I fear. But, thank heavens, no crapshot (ooops, sorry, I meant clapshot).

mjc from NM




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