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16 October 2014

Scallowawife


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Up Helly Aa

I don't believe it! in the words of Victor Meldrew - I don't believe it! As I typed in the words above - I realised I had typed them before - on 5th Feb LAST year. This is my anniversary - one year of blogging!

I'm a whole year older and wiser.

Yet I still think i can work all day, go out to a dance which lasts 10 hours, eat drink and dance, and manage to get back to work on Thursday. The festival takes place on a Tuesday, and the Wednesday is a holiday, but we have to be ready to work on Thursday. Unfortunately we all assume the Thursday is a Monday and get very confused.((WHITE SETTLER - ARE YOU FOLLOWING?))

We were at the local ferry terminal as our Hall - and it had been transformed into a dance hall complete with bar and band, and a supper room. A friend said that she spend ages convincing some visiting tourists that it is NOT commonly known as Transvestite Tuesday - but then realised that nearly all the men seemed to have false boobs and fishnet tights. One squad in particular had fishnet tights, pvc macs (short ones) and much make up, wigs etc etc. we all stared at these men who made excellent women - its so not fair when you've spent hours gettin ready....

but then not all men made such good lookin ones. some just don't...

One of the last squads in to our hall were particularly good - I say this because I know them well, but also because they don't come from Lerwick. Most squads are Lerwick men now, because of the rules. I think you have to live in Lerwick for 5 years before you become eligble. but if you live in the country - you're not able to join. Unless you take a place of an existing squad member. Anyway I digress. This squad blew balloons up and let them go. so far so good. then they blew up an enormous balloon, and a man slowly disappeared inside it. after a bit of jostling he burst the balloon and reappeared as Elvis! how magic is that!

we have had a bit of debate about whether this is a sexist festival or not. The men are in the squads. they have to perform their acts - 12 times in the night, and they have the chance to dance or have supper in each hall - again as there are 12 halls, 12 times. there isn't really time to have both supper and dance - as there is a strict timetable to stick to.
If every man has the chance to act and dance/eat in every hall, and is waited on by women to serve his supper (I did my 2 lots of half an hour in the kitchen, and had no problem wi this at all) then yes it does seem a bit subserviant of the women.

BUT if you think about it from the wimmens view - they have 40 squads to be entertained by - so have loads of possible dances/suppers - there's never a dull moment. And we don't have to spend half the night in a bus or truck and queuing outside halls in the cold.

Hmmm. What would you rather choose?




Posted on Scallowawife at 20:47

Comments

Happy Anniversareeeeee - eeeeee!

Flying Cat from crooning at a mic


Been to a hall one Up Helly Aa - as a bloke who was not in a squad. All the women were busy making grub or dancing with all the Guizers. It made for an incredibly BORING night!!!

Victor Meldrew from Somewhere in Shetland


Hi, Scallowawife, I never follow anything, although, I nearly got the whole Up Helly Aa thing at the 5th reading, but gave up after Elvis ( who should be working in Tesco's and not entertaining a load of balloons ) and the 12 times things,

Tws from back at the croft


I choose a north isles Up Helly Aa any day. You get men & women in their squads.

Muness from Fetlar


Victor, I did the same as you one year.The hall was at the Shetland Marts (that dates me) but I got so fu I couldn't dance anyway so the problem was academic.

Hyper-Borean from Da men's side o da hall


Did you have to be fu' not to be able to dance? I suppose that made other problems academic too....

Flying Cat from Cheshire Grin


Happy Anniversary Scallowawife!

Annie B Versary message from the usual


Be fair Muness, I saw the Unst festival last year, a guest of your fiddle man, very good too, but without the women and children the squads would be very small indeed.

Lerwick Trevor from Lerwick


Are the women and children on Unst particularly large then? What are they feeding them on up there?

Flying Cat from puzzled&confused


Very good brewery on Unst FC.

Lerwick Trevor from Lerwick


To Quote " then yes it does seem a bit subserviant of the women" Wife know your place, show some gratitude!

Sandy the Goodlad from Lerwick


Methinks Scallowawife was trying not to upset the Lerwegians. Its a historic tradition they would say.

Muness from Fetlar


I knew I'd seen a White Wife lying around the living room.

Flying Cat from a boozer's bloom


We all like White Wife (This is not smut -its a beer).

Muness from Fetlar


"False boobs", "Fishnet tights" - told you, it's all smut. The documentary should be called "Carry On Up Helly Aa".

Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells


I hope someone asked her permission first?

Flying Cat from Da Market Cross


Sood dat no be AXED fc?

Hyper-Borean from The awkward squad


dear disgusted - its not smut, its an accurate description.

scallowawife from in indignation


"White wife"....is that the opposite of a Thai Bride?

Sandy the Goodlad from Muddy Bay


White Wife and Thai Bride - favourite Shetland carry-oots.

Flying Cat from Cheshire Grin


Did FC know that there is a chain of homey restaurants in the south, certainly Georgia, (the fried chicken and okra are excellent) called: Wifesaver? The first time I saw it, I burst out laughing, but the name does make sense (sort of).

mjc from NM,USA


He's leaving on the midnight train to Georgia, I'd rather live with him in his world than live without him in mine. Take the last train to Clarkesville and I'll meet you at the station. Sorry about all this, but I'm in training.

Tws from on the train


in traing for what tws?

carol from france


Train whistle blowin', out along the bay, all bound for Morningtown, many miles away...

Flying Cat from Seekers Silver Anniversary dvd


'tis the old Orange Blossom Special, I can smell that Dixie air, etc. etc.

mjc from NM,USA


The runaway train came over the hill and she blew, she blew, She's got a ticket to ride and she don't care!!!

Tws from Stillintraining


the wheels on the bus go round and round...oops wrong form of transport - but then the buses here go faster than the trains, go figure

mia from nursery corner


Time flies by when you're a driver on a train; There on the footplate, there and back again.

Muness from Lyric T-shirt heaven


she don't care because the carnival is over

carol from france


'You've gotta friend', FC

Lerwick Trevor from Lerwick


With my swaggle on my shoulder...

Flying Cat from The Seekers Complete (5cds)


FC. "Black billy in my hand."? You taken to hunting goats now?

Hyper-Borean from Outback


If I were FC, I would not mess around with Hermit's geese (clipped or not) or goat (the latter may be a fire breathing animal from the description Hermit gives).

mjc from NM,USA


Hi Scallowawife,glad to hear thatyou enjoyed Up helly aa, or is it a', hate to have to tell you this but before I retired and being alas a 'sooth moother' my old boss who is a Shetlander born and bred always enlightened me each year that it was 'transvestite tuesday' and by all the dress I am enclined to agree with him.

ollickgob from shetland mainland


Purrsuade the committee to move Up Helly Aa to mardis gras and you could enjoy Fat Tranny Tuesday and follow it with a 40 day and 40 night hangover...

Flying Cat from frills&furbelows


Steady FC, you'll have the General Synod after your cat.

Lerwick Trevor from Lerwick


I AM a cat. I do not have a cat. Unless you count m'Marmalade chum and he's a free agent. Keep the General Snood out of my hair!

Flying Cat from in a fluff




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