To bare or not to bare?
Posted: Tuesday, 10 January 2006 |
7 comments |
Having been discussing the beauty therapy benefits of naturism in the northern climate on Annie Beags鈥 blog over on the Western Isles I thought it was only fair to warn everyone that Cleats Shore near Kilmory on the west coat of Arran is the only official nudist beach in Scotland as far as I know. Having said that it鈥檚 not exactly a wall to wall flesh pot. So Calumannabel, should we start our Nuddy Beach for Lewis Campaign now so the fanksters can top up their blue bits? Give reasons why Lewis deserves it鈥檚 own nudist beach here. Perhaps we could have some suggestions regarding which beach would be ideal or maybe reasons against? Here鈥檚 part of an article from a well known Scottish newspaper giving some pro鈥檚 and cons:
Nudism: is it time to grin and bare it?
Scottish beaches get rave reviews in a new book on naturism. A fully clothed Adrian Turpin investigates
Scotland and nudism 鈥 an unlikely mix? You might think so but Nick Mayhew, the author of the naturist guidebook Bare Britain, is out to correct a few misconceptions. 鈥淯p until 100 years ago, when people went swimming in Scotland they would have stripped off,鈥 he says. 鈥淟ook at Rob Roy. Remember Liam Neeson famously swimming in the nude?鈥 It may come as a shock to discover that Rob Roy MacGregor was a proto-naturist, skinny-dipping between skirmishes, sunning himself in the altogether, hands on hips by the banks of Loch Voil. But the rest of what Mayhew, a 36-year-old London-based travel writer, had to say this week was even more surprising. Scotland鈥檚 beaches are apparently a naturist鈥檚 paradise. 鈥淎s someone who has written a naturist guide to Europe, I can say that Scotland is the most beautiful place in it,鈥 says Mayhew. 鈥淔or me, it鈥檚 a wilderness thing. It鈥檚 nice having your own bit of wilderness.鈥
There is, in fact, only one official nudist beach in Scotland: Cleat鈥檚 Shore, in the south of Arran. 鈥淚 suspect it鈥檚 probably the least visited nudist beach in the known universe,鈥 says Mayhew. The other sites mentioned in the guide 鈥 including Glenaladale by Loch Shiel, Glengarrisdale Bay in north Jura and Loch Arienas in Morvern 鈥 have been chosen for their mixture of remoteness and beauty but are offered with a warning: 鈥淚f you do decide to enjoy a spot of unofficial skinny-dipping, do so with care and respect for others. If in doubt, cover up rather than risk offending.鈥
As for the small matter of the climate: 鈥淚 was swimming in Sanna Bay near Ardnamurchan Point earlier this month,鈥 says Mayhew. 鈥淣ot for very long, but some of the word鈥檚 most famous bare-bathers are Swedish. Compared to Scotland, that鈥檚 a lot colder. In the far north of the country, there鈥檚 a naturist beach inside the Arctic Circle. In midsummer, you get 24-hour sunlight.鈥 And has he found an answer to intimate midge bites? 鈥淚sn鈥檛 that what everyone wants to know? I鈥檒l sell you that for a million quid,鈥 he says.
But as the Bare Britain guide admits: 鈥淚t鈥檚 not only the midges that can make life unbearable for bare bathers.鈥 Naturists may be ready for the west coast, but are the locals ready for naturists? One of the beaches also singled out by Bare Britain is Glasnacardoch on the Ardnish peninsula, locally known as the 鈥渟inging sands鈥 because of the noise made as you walk over it. Are the locals aware that they are living near a nudist hot (or should that be cold) spot? 鈥淚 can honestly say I鈥檝e never seen anyone nude round here. It wouldn鈥檛 go down very well at all. It鈥檚 a place for families,鈥 says Jilly Jones, who runs the Old Library Lodge hotel in Arisaig. Maybe that鈥檚 a sign of how discreet they are? 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think there鈥檚 an awful lot to hide behind down there to be honest,鈥 says Jones. You鈥檙e sure you鈥檙e not missing out on a niche market? 鈥淚鈥檓 not missing out on anything.鈥
Wouldn鈥檛 coachloads of Danes and Germans, not deterred by the weather but eager to be buffed to a high gloss by the Atlantic gales, provide just the shot in the arm which the Highland economy needs? Wouldn鈥檛 you be tempted, I ask Jones, if VisitScotland offered to pay for a free advert in Health and Efficiency magazine? 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think so,鈥 she says. 鈥淚鈥檇 rather people just kept their clothes on. Normally nudists are just old people who tend to let it all hang out.鈥
The writer and Highland historian John MacLeod, a native of Harris, adds: 鈥淚t is difficult to think of a nudist invasion without an awful lot of hilarity. The horizontal rain. The icy chill of the Atlantic. Bumpy, wobbly flesh. Unspeakable.鈥 As the son of a minister and an occasional outspoken commentator on public morality, however, MacLeod鈥檚 objections go beyond the aesthetic. 鈥淭he fact is we are meant to be clothed,鈥 he says. 鈥淭he English language suggests that. 鈥楽tripped鈥, 鈥榥aked鈥, 鈥榥ude鈥 are all synonyms for diminished. The whole point of clothing is that it鈥檚 a social discipline. To put it crudely, it鈥檚 there to cover signs of sexual arousal. Men and women, boys and girls, naked together is an affront on many levels. The naturist thing is an assault on decency. There is something very aggressive about it.鈥
What would be the reaction of the typical minister to a nudist invasion of the west coast? 鈥淗orror, pity and disgust I should imagine,鈥 says MacLeod plainly. 鈥淎fter the Fall of Man, one of the very first things in the new order was clothing. First fig leaves, then animal skins.鈥
Rebranding the Western Isles as a nudist riviera from Butt to Barra may have to wait a while yet.
Posted on Sunny at 21:57
Comments
Gosh we think along the same lines Sunny. While you're writing about nudism on Cleat's Shore, we're negotiating with Spenser Tunick who's expressed an interest in photographing all the attendees in the nude laid along the grass verge of the A857. Obviously we'll remove all sheep droppings first. Tunick has an exhibition at The Sage in Newcastle next month so we'll hook up and fianlise things then. Over the years the beach at Souith Dell has gained a local reputation for nude bathing. Some Saturdays you cannot move for folded floral pinnies and the XXXlL Agent Provoacter favoured by the local cailleachs. It's like Baywatch with . wrinkles.One Dell man, Alec John Murray has an ice cream concession on the beach. He wears a thong and a broad smile as he dispenses 99's to the Dell babes. Finally I would submit The historian John MacLeod obviously knows little about sexual arousal in the Western Isles - all the Lewis men I know demand five days written notice of any pending physical demands on their person by which time they've had ample time to cover their 'cheeky bits'.
calumannabel from alec john's beach bar south dell
I suppose anywhere near the Butt of Lewis might be a good place to start. It's usually quite exposed.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Annie, please tell Lewis to put his breeks back on, he'll catch his death in this weather! Calumannabel, great minds with nothing better to do.... Do you really think we will have a big enough turn out to do a Tunick? I will bring my hammer and chisel to help those who have been sewen into their combinations for the winter!
Sunny from Arran
Lewis is, I'm afraid, out of control and out of work since Morse ended. It's all been a bit too much for him Sunny
Nicky Butt from Lipton's shop Eoropie
Ah no Nicky! Lewis is getting it's own series, just saw the trailer, Kevin Wheatly is getting Morse's car and everything! Do you think he will investigate the fank?
Sunny from Arran
Browsed through your blog, Sunny - enjoyed the extensive tourist guide which you included last July.
As far as a dating festival in the nude is concerned, isn't that strapping the cat on the bacon? Or is it akin to saying "don't bother wrapping it up, i'll eat it straightaway?"
Arnish Lighthouse from Stornoway
Thanks Arnish! I think it's more amusement value and, "where's the magnifying glass." It's going to be a bit chilli still after all.
Sunny from Arran
This blog is now closed and we are no longer accepting new posts.