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16 October 2014

Sunny


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Talking Cats and Dogs

The number of computer literate animals in the Northern Isles is increasingly concerning me. I can't say I was particularly surprised by a blogging Lighthouse in The Western Isles as we had the Isle of Fladda writing until recently (did the sea wall finally give?) but I'm beginning to think that the Clyde and Argyle livestock are under achieving. I have always been aware that a wide variety of pets, prize winning livestock, working dogs, the little Christmas tree on the Ross and even Gordon The Gangplank are literate as they have all had letters published in the banner, although it tends to be visitors dogs who write the most (presume they must take great pleasure in leaving their poo so far afield from Shepards Bush and that's why they are the only ones who enjoyed the holiday enough to write), the local animals tend to be more cutting, especially after the Arran show.

Apart from the nonhuman computer literacy special needs on Arran I'm also a bit worried about the repercussions so many animals could cause at The Dell Fank. It's going to be a real cattle market! Boom Boom.

Sorry...

It's been one of those days with long stretches of boredom between bursts of busy so couldn't start doing anything worthwhile and am bored to death... HELP!

Posted on Sunny at 17:40

Comments

You've sussed a new training scheme Sunny. The Northern Isles have been taking part in a special initiative to streamline crofters' administrative work. Over recent years the demand for form-filling has increased so significantly that the Crofters Commission got European funding to train sheep to complete the paperwork themselves. The experiment has been very successful so far. 73% of the sheep described themsleves as feeling much more fulfilled. 46% have achieved RSA qualifications and 2 are now progressing to MBAaa studies at Aberdeen University. Some have gone on to study computer maintenance, developing their in-depth knowledge of RAM.

Annie B from Lone Sheiling 17


I have just had a bottle of American stout(which by the way is better than Guinness) and have read aloud your talking cats and dogs we don't know what you are really on about but it is hilarious and brightened our evening up we are also a bit bored so I have just helped Chuck to cut the ends off some matches so that he can stuff them down the cigarettes my partner smokes. Apparently this is an American custom by non smokers. We are now waiting for them to return so for that brief moment when she lights up we can return to that childhood giggle of naughtiness which two grown men should have forgotten about, I hope she does not shriek and get those bloody dogs from next door barking again have you noticed the language of dogs is universal and I am sure if you are bitten it feels the same, I have just had a brief pause from writing this whilst I explained to Chucks wife who has entered the room( incidentally she is a USA lawyer) she has expressed concern over the match heads flaring up in my partners face and a possible law suit and Chuck has informed me that the dogs round here have a southern drawl. So as I am a a liberal person willing to learn our cultural differences I shall open another bottle of American stout and go and talk to the cat

Neville and Chuck from North Carolina USA


Maybe the mice could do my tax return!

Sunny from Arran


Hello Neville & Chuck. You might need visas for the Fank but I'm sure you'd be vey welcome. (Start at the earliest of calumannabel's blogs in the unlikely event that you actually want to know what we're on about.) Do you have any more hints for folks like Sunny & Mike about non-smokers? The match trick sounds like a jolly good wheeze.

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Yep Chuck & Neville the wider we can spread that gene pool the better, believe me! I hope this doeasn't mean Annie B is going to become the practicle joker of the fank. You could do a lot of damage with an unstable guga young lady!

Sunny from Arran


This guga may have become unstable because it's not had the same opportunities as the trained sheep. Possibly it has issues of low self esteem. I don't know how big the administrative burden is for the guga hunters so there may not be the same demand for computer literate livestock on Sula Sgeir. This shouldn't rule out confidence building courses though or perhaps something in arts or creative writing to encourage self-expression. I've heard quite a lot about chick-lit so there might be a market for novels by a guga. I think a seagull called Jonathon Livingston was quite successful some years back?

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Damn! I was saving the Richard Bach reference for just this occasion and you got there 1st! Although there is the option of, "Who Moved My Crowdie?" By Guga Johnson, Published by Flossy Desk Top Publishers?

Sunny from Red Squrrel Advanced Rocket Science Dept


We have much better they ofo lot of grey squirrels in this part of the country.After watching autunm watch on friday night and seeing the red squirrel i realised how better they look to the grey. I think they should be culled to allow the red to run free in the whole of the country.

mike from halesowen




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