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Or a boat, seemingly...frae next Wednesday, Orkney ferries are on strike until Friday, wi` nae boats tae the Outer North Isles. That`s us lot folks.
Noo, I hae some ideas aboot what tae dae if ye are desperate tae get offisle and intae toon....
we could kidnap ony fishing boats we come across. One o` the drawbacks o` that is, I hae nae idea aboot steering one so if onybody in the Sooth Isles, Spain or even France see a wee fishing boat wi` some seasick and thirsty passengers on it, please stop us and gie aid.
Or we could work on building a bridge, that might keep some isles builders and blacksmiths in work for some guidly amount o` time. Designs on postcards please. No` tae me though!
Or we could apply tae hae mair planes put on, for the peedie one we hae the noo just will no` dae if, say, mair than twelve islanders need tae get off Sanday!
So mebbe some three or four new wee planes would be guid, eh?

Of course, in the event that naebody thinks tae actually DAE ony o` the above, here are some mair tips....
stockpile supplies, for wha kens when we`ll see fresh milk and breid next week.
Get in a guid store o` dvd`s tae watch.
Ask the pubs if they hae in enough of the liquid refreshments tae cheer up the stranded.
Pretend it`s no wet and cauld Sanday, but a desert island we will be stranded on, wear grass skirts, play auld LP`s and find some coconuts tae tap oot a tune wi......