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I see now that holiness, Sainthood even, will not come to me by way of grand deeds worthy of the Nobel Peace prize. I'll never be anyone special or famous for holiness and great acts of charity. I am: Madam Housewife! One amongst billions of other housewives.

No, instead of great things Sainthood is offered to me as I'm kneeling in the byre desparately trying to push the swollen head of a lamb back down into its mother's womb while Erlend holds her hind end aloft, his strong hands gripping her ankles and my temper flaring as he fails to do exactly what I want him to do.

Holiness will dangle before me as, yet again, I scrub the toilet.

Sanctity will be placed in my path as the phone rings for the third time in an hour and I'm up to my elbows in dishwater and trying to get the house clean before our guests arrive...

These are the "grand" moments when I will be tried and tested and my true self will be revealed - because what is really on the inside comes bursting out when we are stressed and inconvenienced. This is when I will be offered the chance to respond with charity and patience rather then snapping and being nasty. I must pull myself off of the stage and keep vigil over myself in the hidden things of my daily life.

I shall be challenged by a thousand tiny things each day - tiny things that go unseen by anyone else. How much easier it is to perform in front of witnesses! How Saintly I am when people are watching me! But when I am alone in the field trying to corner a calf or I am woken from a much-needed nap by a visitor then I shall be put to the test.

If I'm able to remember all of this, then when I die I will stand before God with a cooking pot in one hand and slimey lambing ropes in the other. I'll be dressed in my stained apron with my hair flying is all directions. I'll have bags under my eyes and coffee breath. My shoes will be caked with mud and there will be a trail of dung and straw that I tracked in through the Pearly Gates.

I will be nothing fancy or spectacular but I will say to Him, "Lord, I have loved You even as my in-laws stopped by just as I was about to sit down and rest. I loved you as my husband inturrupted my busy morning to ask me to help shift kye. That's all I could do, God. All I could give was Love and more Love. I had nothing else - no grand deeds or theological works. I stand before you with empty hands - but my heart is filled with Love!"