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I've lived all over the world in such diverse places as the Middle East and Alaska. And I've visited many places around the world from rural Spain to the Bronx.

Each and every place that I have been has had it's good side and its bad side. And each place has it's own beauty. No place is perfect but at the same time no place has struck me as being entirely bad.

I've learned something very important in my travels: A good neighborood is made, not born. And just because I live in a good neighborhood this doesn't mean I can kick back and coast along and expect everyone around me to behave like good neighbors.

Good towns/neighborhoods are created by the hard work of the inhabitants. Good places don't just happen like some sort of byproduct of Evolution. Good places are created by the people who live within them. They behave like adults. They treat one another decently and honestly. They respect one another and consider their neighbors. They don't roar by in fast cars or crank their music until all of the windows within a twenty mile radius threaten to shatter. They don't let their disrespectful kids run hog-wild terrorizing anyone and anything in their path. Good neighbors think beyond themselves. This takes hard work and if folks are lazy and afraid of hard work then they don't bother to become good neighbors and their town/neighborhood becomes stagnant.

And then some of them move away in search of a good neighborhood because they think that good places exist all on their own and that none of it has anything to do with the actions of the inhabitants.

People are always moving to the country because they think that they will reach some kind of paradise far from the city. But I've found out that just because I live in the country doesn't guarantee that I will dwell in a good neighborhood or town. I once lived in a beautiful rural town where everyone knew everyone. The postman greeted you by name when you walked in to mail a letter. It was great! Or so I thought. Within a few months I was ready to get the heck OUT of there because there was so much bitterness and gossip and nasty un-neighborly behavior. I felt like I was living with a bunch of bratty kids!

The best places I have lived are places where my neighbors and I acted like adults. I couldn't just kick back and expect everyone to "be nice" - I had to roll up my sleeves and contribute my own good neighborliness. I have learned that I get out what I put in - and there are no free rides just because I happen to move into a good place.

I have experienced some of the most wonderful neighborhoods within the stigmatised inner-city ghettos. I always thought that inner cities were nothing but war zones and no one of any worth could possibly live within a city. "They all act like animals!" I'd say and then I'd dream of living in the country where it was "safe" and "perfect." Imagine my surprise when I found huge portions of love, generosity, joy, friendliness and a tight-knit sense of family in the depths of big cities. Wow!!

I live in Orkney and folk are always saying to me, "Oh you are sooooo lucky! Orkney is such a good place! I wish I could live there!" I suppose folk could pack up and move here in the hopes of finding their own neighborly El Dorado but I am willing to bet that even Orkney would become a wretched place to live if the people here quit working at being good neighbors.

If I moved here (or to any good neighborhood) and had an additude and acted like a brat I don't have the right to complain that no one likes me and the neighbors are snobs. I can't have my cake and eat it too!! I have to make just as much of an effort at neighborliness as the locals.

It's not where I live that makes a good neighborhood. It's how I live.