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I had a most exciting adventure recently, I went inside the Ness Battery! Can you contain your joy? Thought not. For the uninitiated and geographically confused, the Ness Battery is a WWI and WWII military installation on the outskirts of Stromness, by the golf course, overlooking Hoy Sound.



It is surrounded by a 10’ high perimeter fence topped with barbed wire, and it covers about 2-3 acres of land. There are gun batteries, ammunition stores, barracks, officers’ quarters, underground bunkers and vast quantities of corrugated iron and concrete. Best of all is the highly unusual mess hall, but more of that in a moment….

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A group of Orkney artists (loosely affiliated under the name ‘Untitled’) had this idea of joining up with some writers and see what creative processes were generated. I was paired up with a local painter, whose usual medium is oils on very large canvasses depicting sea, sky, beach debris, and my favourite, the cows in the forest (not inspired by an Orkney scene!). Over some nice soup and a cup of blackcurrant tea we chatted, enthused about Surrealist art and in a roundabout way thought we might like to do ‘something’ inspired by the 20th century legacy round Orkney’s shores.



Something stirred in the deep dark recesses of my memory…….I remember a local archaeologist telling me about the Ness Battery mess hall and some paintings on the walls done by the soldiers, vaguely reminiscent of the Italian Chapel (which was painted by POWs in the 1940s). Hmm. We did a bit of research. Turns out the Ness Battery was sold by the MOD to Orkney Islands Council in 2002 for the princely sum of £1.00. A search of the Royal Commission’s website and we had one or two tantalising photos. We got quite excited about this and decided to tap our friends in high places and see if we could get in……..and they said yes.

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So, last Tuesday, our local museum curator, writer and story-teller unpadlocked the gates and we drove up the weed-cracked concrete track, through the rusting sheds and abandoned bunkers. As well as the scary lookout tower and assorted concrete buildings there is a collection of half a dozen wooden-clad buildings, grey paint and shutters badly worn. Most can’t be opened as the locks have all rusted shut, but the mess hall door stood open and in we went. It was bright sunshine outside and it took a minute for our eyes to adjust to the gloom within, but after a moment we could see the walls clearly – and what a sight!



Round three of the four walls are painted extraordinary scenes of rural English life, a vision of Arcadia that includes children playing in a no doubt enchanted forest, a colourful gypsy encampment, a thatched cottage containing tea-room and contented cat in the window, and a village street scene with ye olde inne named the Jolly Farmer.









The signature tells us the paintings were done by AR Woods, but no more is known about this person. Were they an artist in civvy street? There is something quite impressionistic about the paintings, and they are more skilful than a first glance would suggest. Was AR Woods a man or a woman? Were these scenes intended as a backdrop for amateur dramatics? Our museum friend mused that the paintings maybe served to remind them what they were fighting for, even if the reality never really existed.



What we found intriguing was that all the pastoral scenes are filled with the most un-Orcadian vistas, forests, buildings and characters, as if the painter were trying to block out the reality outside of howling gales and the turbulence of Hoy Sound. The wisteria, the cottage roses and the apple orchards were perhaps a protection against a more immediate enemy, a sort of floral frontline.







The mess hall is not in a good way. The paint is peeling, the damp is getting in, and the few remaining shutters that still open are rusting fast. There are possibly moves to make the Ness Battery a focal point in the wider Scapa Flow project, perhaps as an interpretation centre. It would be very sad to see this fascinating place rotting away to nothing, but doing what it would take to make it safe and accessible would result in the loss of a lot of its decaying charm.



We took loads of photos and discussed what our next step would be, and we are looking into some sort of projection/performance installation thingy, featuring our photos and some writing. Unfortunately my partner in crime has had to go away for a few weeks unexpectedly, so I don’t know how much we’ll get done, but writing this blog has been a good start towards getting my thoughts on (albeit virtual) paper. I’ll let you know how we get on!





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Update on musical prowess……glad your fpu enjoyed the concert, Flying Cat. The general consensus amongst the performers was ‘not too bad’ – praise indeed from Orkney folk. We’re doing a repeat in the Cromarty Hall in the Hope this Friday. I’m not sure I can keep up this rock n roll on-the-road lifestyle.