91�ȱ�

[Caller] Hi, My name’s Harry, I just…

I’m being bullied by my so-called friends in my class.

You know, they swear at me, leave me out and say horrible things to me

They make me feel really bad about myself and they tell me that no one likes me and wants me around

They always laugh at me and never say sorry

I feel like no one cares that I’m hurt

I’m feeling down and depressed and I feel like I have to stay friends with them

Otherwise, I’ll be alone, and I can’t tell anyone what’s happening and they’ll call me a snitch.

It can be really difficult to feel self-confident when you experience being bullied

or when people say awful things to you.

It can really affect your mental health and your wellbeing.

And it’s hard to get past what you are experiencing right now

but trust me the people who are making you feel this way

aren’t worth you feeling like you are feeling.

Their opinions honestly won’t matter to you in a few years time so don’t let it affect you right now.

I know how it feels to struggle with your thoughts and wellbeing

and how difficult it can be to get out of that cycle of negative thoughts once you get into it

Because I’ve experienced anxiety and depression myself

When I experience this, I become very introverted and withdrawn and I’m not really chatty

I’m just not really myself!

Growing up I felt like showing my emotions and talking about how I felt was a sign of weakness.

I’d never seen the men around me talk or get upset about how they’re feeling

so I just thought that it was something men didn’t do, so I didn’t either.

But now more than ever I realise it is so important for our wellbeing

to talk and be honest about how we are feeling and our mental health

and it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong being able to be honest about how you are feeling

And to ask for help if you need it.

The biggest thing that changed how I was feeling was finally talking to my friends about it for the first time in my life

And just being open and honest about my mental health and how I was feeling

I remember it was just one day and my friend made a passing comment and asked,

‘are you okay?’ and that was the turning point, I opened up to him and then

as a group of friends we all just started talking about our experiences

and we quickly realised that we’d all been going through similar experiences,

we just hadn’t told each other.

Sharing how I was feeling definitely made me feel less lonely

And it actually brought us all closer together as a group.

I think for me the pressure when you’re younger of feeling like you need to have your life planned out

was so overwhelming and definitely affected how I felt.

I come from a family of very successful people, my brother’s a professional footballer,

my dads a really successful engineer and my cousin’s are both olympians

So I definitely felt the pressure. Not from them, but myself, to have it all worked out

I think it's so important not to make yourself feel like that.

You don’t have to know what you want to do or be right now.

You just need to find hobbies and things that you love and are passionate about and do them.

They might end up being your career and they might not.

For me that’s been music, I absolutely love it, it makes me feel happy

and it really helps me with my mental health.

But it's only more recently that it's become my profession and I wish I’d done it when I was younger

but I was too worried about the stigma of doing something that wasn’t classed as cool.

But trust me, if you love something, just do it.

If I find my mind working overtime and overthinking everything

And if I’m just feeling low, then immersing myself in my music and writing a new song,

It just gives me purpose and focus.

I actually think learning new things in general for me

is such a huge thing that really helps me with my wellbeing.

If I am standing still and not learning I find my mental health gets worse.

If I'm in a new sport, or a hobby - whatever it is

I’m progressing and I’m moving forward and it makes me feel good.

It gives you endless possibilities, you might meet new people or it might be something that helps with your anxiety.

There are lots of other steps and exercises you can try if bullying or any other issue

is impacting on your wellbeing, and our expert Alex is going to share some with you

[Alex] It’s really important to take care of yourself as this will help with your overall well being

and in turn will help your confidence and self-esteem.

Taking care of yourself means doing things just for you to help you feel better.

Self-care can take time and practice, but the more you do it, the easier it can get.

This can include things like ensuring you’re taking a moment each day to relax

And doing something that you love, like reading or listening to music

Taking a nice hot bath or going for a walk

You might also want to think about taking a break from screens and social media

So you can really focus on yourself.

Learning to slow-down your thoughts and focus on the moment can help you to feel better and happier,

It will help you to concentrate and study, or work better

and to find new ways to cope with situations.

You could try a breathing exercise - take five deeps breaths in through your nose out through your mouth

This will focus your mind on the breathing and away from those busy thoughts.

To keep your mind healthy try to do at least one of these steps everyday.

[Wes] These are great exercises and steps that you can try to help you with your wellbeing.

Remember, find that thing that you love, that gives you a focus and that keeps you wanting to learn and just do it.

If you feel scared about opening up to a group of friends, just choose that one person,

that one person that you feel like you can talk to and speak to them one-to-one

Talking about how you’re feeling can really really help

You should always tell someone about the things that you’re worried about.

You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher or another trusted adult.

There are also links to helpful organisations on the 91�ȱ� Action Line website.