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Secret Shots - Doing The Leopard Lean
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Paolo Nutini - 'Rewind'
Hey, doesn't James Morrison sound different when he's half-asleep? Not LOADS different, obviously, it's not like he's gone metal or anything, but that unmistakeable voice sounds a little darker and more hoarse, and generally more raggedy around the edges. Just as well the musical backing is as immaculate as ever, eh?
Windows Media: Realmedia: / /
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Quote-ographic Memory
What the web says the stars are saying today...
Sarah Aloud on posing naked: ""I would never do any thing seedy like that. I am not a glamour model. I'm not a prude and don't mind stripping to a bikini but I wouldn't sit there legs akimbo full frontal. Not even for a million quid."
You do know that's just going to start a bidding war now, don't you?
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Album Cover Art And What It Means
Example No.1 - Emma Bunton's 'Life In Mono'
Look at this picture closely. There is some distance between what Emma's people think it says, and what it actually says....
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The Zutons - 'It's The Little Things We Do'
Ah, I see what you're doing there, you lot. You've got everyone so mixed up in that wibbly-wobbly world of your own - the one in which West Side Story, the '60s beat group boom and some blues grunter all get to play ring-a-rosie with the happy tension of a man on the edge of being tickled into a nervous breakdown - that you think no-one's gonna spot the fact that you keep putting out anagrams of the same song. Devious!
Continue reading "The Zutons - 'It's The Little Things We Do'"
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Blog Party - Justin Timberlake
Crazy-ass internet web-physics time. We present a blog within a blog, in which ultra-famous pop star Justin Timberlake* exposes the inner workings of his mind to a goss-hungry public, and the ChartBlog just sort of stands back and watches. Ooh! Look at him type! He's a DEMON!
Over to you, JT...
Thank you, Chartblog...er..hello.
It's so nice to be here talking to you all...ah...TYPING to you all, I should say...and letting you experience the kind of unusual activities which are now part of my day-to-day life, from an insider perspective. You, sitting in your humble homes and schools and work-places, will then have some idea of what it is really like to be someone whose life is a very large distance from being run-of-the-mill, and in my own words too. In fact, you've already read quite a large selection of the words to which I was just referring. And, being a naturally creative kind of person, I have already started to work in some of my favourite words, as a subliminal (that's one, right there) way of raising the standard of intellectual (and another) discourse (yep) within the narrow confines (I'm clearly very inspired today indeed) of what the press insist on calling my 'media profile' (er, no, none of those).
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The Killers - 'Bones'
It's another slice of anthemic pop rockness from the recently haired-up fellas, but behind Brandon's caterpillar moustache there's still a glamorous punk popper in hiding. Whereas 'When You Were Young' was all staccato shoutiness and romantic love-on-the-run sentiment, 'Bones' is more your general grumpy love song: gritty, saucy and a little bit dirty. Yes, Brandon really is inviting you to jump his bones. Rowr!
Windows Media: Realmedia: / /
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The Amazing Technicolour Dream-Quote
What the web says the stars are saying today...
Arctic Monkeys on why choosing to cover Girls Aloud for the Jo Whiley show was more than just an appreciation of their music...
Alex: "Jamie wanted to meet Nadine. But now she is going out with that bloke from Desperate Housewives, so he's no chance."
Jamie: "Give me 12 months in the gym and I'll have her yet."
You're gonna lock her in a gym for a YEAR? Surely that's just gonna get on her nerves...
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Muse - 'Knights Of Cydonia'
It may be time for the Pop Intervention Unit to pay Muse a visit, because a song like this can only be the work of the Terminally Bonkers. Or it would be, if this weren't so utterly amazingly ace.
Seriously. It's a deliberately puffed-up, overproduced, hyperkinetic behemoth of a track - and it's wonderful. It gallops along so breathlessly we got saddle sores just listening to it.
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Bootyluv - 'Boogie 2Nite'
It's always nice when a song begs you to come out for a bit of a dance-up, but takes the time to make sure you're sensible enough to bring a coat, and frets about whether you've remembered your keys or not, eh? Then at least you know if you wanna go completely nutcrazy out on 'the floor', you won't be cold on the way home, or locked out when you get there. It's a bit like going out clubbing with your mum, only less embarrassing.
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SexyFacts - Glossary Of TeenSpeak
EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL REPORT EXCLUSIVE BY JESSICA REE!
Hello Jessica fans!
ChartBlog sent me, Jessica Ree - your very own ‘Look At Me!’ correspondent to the world of SexyFacts - to take an in-depth look at street slang, text speak and all of the brilliant new ways in which you youngsters manage to talk to each other. And what a creative bunch you are! Here’s what I can EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL…
TEXTING SPEAK
WHAT YOU SAY WHAT IT MEANS OMG! Crikey. Or gosh, or heck, or sheesh. LOL! Short for Laurence. Also, a way of pretending to find something funny, even if it isn't. Extra exclamation marks are used depending on how much you wish to flatter the person you say it to. PMSL! When ladies become suddenly moody for no apparent reason (that boys can understand). ROFL! Bearded entertainer. Likes animals. NBF No boyfriend (Note to self: must check this one!).
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Cruel Isn't What We Aim For
As your gran would be the first to tell you, if you want to be nice to someone, it's probably better to either do it 100% wholeheartedly or just not bother. Something the NME found out the hard way, when they published their annual Cool List last week.
Now, normally, the Cool List is a big event in the indie magazine's calendar, as it gives them a brilliant chance to praise some of the most unique talents and charismatic nutbags in the world of quality brainiac snoot-rock. Previous NME Cool List issues have had specially made Cool List CDs, and one year they even did a 3D moving cover of Pete Doherty, as if he isn't three-dimensional enough!So, you can imagine how pleased Beth Ditto, the enormo-lunged singer with indie newbies the Gossip will have been to learn she is now officially this year's coolest star.
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Quotel California
What the web says the stars are saying today...
Ryan Ross of Panic! on why they had to sack Brent Wilson: "It was tough, because we all went to high school together...it just got to a point where it didn't seem like he was taking it seriously and was along for the ride. And he started to get into things we weren't happy about."
Like what, food?
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Lil Chris - Gettin' Enough??
What’s the acceptable length of a reality star’s fame? One month? One token single? One cameo appearance on Hollyoaks? Well, all of the above, with few exceptions. So a lot depends on Lil Chris’s second single and whether the title is self-fulfilling.
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Chart Report - 26/11/06
Ìý 1 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' 
Ìý 2 AKON ft. EMINEM 'SMACK THAT' Ìý 3 EMMA BUNTON 'DOWNTOWN' Ìý 4 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE ft. TI 'MY LOVE' Ìý 5 WESTLIFE 'THE ROSE' The entire Top 40 is right here... So, Take That are back, right, and Eminem is back. And Emma Bunton? She's back. And ooh look, Justin Timberlake is back. And so're Westlife, and Beyonce, and the All Saints, and Robbie Williams, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and U2, and Simon Webbe, and Madonna and George Michael and P Diddy and and and and...
And the interesting thing about all of this is that pretty soon you're going to need to have some kind of degree in Pop Gipper Studies before you'll be allowed to enter a CD shop or download a new song. Pop music, which has claimed to be all about 'the kids' ever since it was first minted (before your grandparents were old enough to get into it, if you're the right 'target age' to be reading this), is becoming overwhelmed by acts who only really make sense to people who're in their 20s or above.
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The Fratellis - Whistle For The Choir
So, having lairily torn their way up and down the charts for the last few months like a gang of gatecrashing bigger boys at a 14 year old's house party, goosing the matron and sicking up in the punch-bowl, indie's chirpiest rapscallion trio settle down in the front garden with a banjo for a sing-song and a jolly good cry.
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Baby One Emo Time
If emo really was all about self-harming, living your entire life in a hell of over-emotional inner-shrieking and listening to far too much music, like the Daily Mail says, the most popular emo icon wouldn't be Gerard Way or one of the skinnier ones in Panic! At The Disco at all. It'd be Britney Spears.OK, OK, calm down, you're going to HURT yourself...it's a joke, but IS IT REALLY??
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Quotal Recall
What the web says the stars are saying today...
50 Cent: "I had an opportunity to perform for the soldiers in Iraq...As soon as I got there, a guy said, 'Listen, I'm not gonna bulls*** you, you can die today.' "At first I thought, 'Why did I even come here?'"
What? There's somewhere more scary than those mean streets you're always banging on about? Fancy!
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Sunday Night Shopping List - 26/11/06
These are a selection of the singles which, if their record companies AND the record shops were all telling the truth when the list was compiled, should all be sitting in a rack at the back of your friendly neighbourhood CD shop as of first thing on the morning of Monday November 27th.
Bitter experience has taught us that some of the information in this list will prove to be inaccurate. Please feel free to offer corrections using the commenting system underneath this posting. Happy shopping!
THE FIRST SIX...THE FRATELLIS 'WHISTLE FOR THE CHOIR' 
COLD WAR KIDS 'WE USED TO VACATION' 
JANET JACKSON FT. KHIA 'SO EXCITED' 
THE ZUTONS 'IT'S THE LITTLEST THINGS WE DO' 
LUPE FIASCO 'I GOTCHA' 
THE KILLERS 'BONES'
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Fish Go Deep ft. Tracey K - 'The Cure & The Cause'
You've got to love a party tune which sounds like someone tearing their broken heart into ever smaller shreds while they're standing in the middle of a ghost dancefloor in the middle of a nightclub called Frostypop, on Hallowe'en...in the dark, right?
Continue reading "Fish Go Deep ft. Tracey K - 'The Cure & The Cause'"
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Nelly Furtado - 'All Good Things (Come To An End)'
Fact #1: Chris Martin co-wrote this track. Sad face. Fact #2: He was meant to sing on it too, but for some reason the record label decided to remove his vocals from the final cut. Yay! Every cloud, and all that.Windows Media: High / Low Continue reading "Nelly Furtado - 'All Good Things (Come To An End)'"
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Lostprophets - 'Can't Catch Tomorrow'
OK, rocksnobs be warned, if you've let the 'Prophets into your little club of things which ROCK, as opposed to things which are pop and therefore DO NOT ROCK, some of the opinions expressed here might get on your pip a bit. But then, if you're a proper rocksnob, things ALWAYS get on your pip, so chances are you'll probably enjoy this after all... Windows Media: Realmedia: / High / Low
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Get Cape Wear Cape Fly - 'War Of The Worlds'
With a song called 'War of the Worlds' you'd think you'd be getting big boomy drums and a shouty voice, OR a strange posh man speaking over an orchestra – depends on the generation...Windows Media: Realmedia: / / Continue reading "Get Cape Wear Cape Fly - 'War Of The Worlds'"
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Arise Sir Akon!
To celebrate Akon's return to his rightful place at the very top of the charts with 'Smack That', here's some useful advice he's given out for free on the topic of being dead brave and not at all...er...not-brave, and stuff...
Now, he might have the squeakiest voice this side of a talking squirrel with his nuts in a vise (no, not THOSE nuts), but that doesn't mean that Akon is some kind of soft touch. In fact, if his various experiences are anything to go by, the man is some kind of vigilante super-hero and love-machine. A bit like Bat-Man, only randier. Here's how it went...
ChartBlog: Akon, do you consider yourself to be brave?
Akon: Yeah I would say I'm pretty brave.ChartBlog: What makes you say that?
Akon: I dunno. Because I'm not scared of nothing. I think that what terrified my mom and my pops the most, that I wasn't scared of nothing. I just thought it was normal though. You shouldn't have to be scared of anything.
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Faithless - 'Bombs'
For a record which aims to fuse the twin excitements of Green Day-style political outrage at the horrors of war, and floor-filling dance beats, this ain't half a mumbly jumble of rumbly bumbling numbness. Part of the problem is the way they've used the noise which is Faithless's greatest asset, namely Maxi Jazz's brainiac snoozyrap.
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Lemar - 'Someone Should Tell You'
This doesn't exactly reek of lyrical genius or take soul to a new level. But because this guy has such a gorgeously smooth, vintage soul voice he can distract anyone from a very mediocre, Average Joe track, and make it sound great.
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Take THAT, Take That!
Look at this picture of Take That.
Notice anything interesting about it? That's right, the top of Howard Donald's head has mysteriously vanished. Now, what do you suppose someone could do with a picture like this if they had access to photo-editing software and a bit of free time..?
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - 'Snow (Hey Oh)'
It must be hard trying to think of new ways to tackle a funky rock tune. Which is why we might all have to forgive the Chilis this good, but not quite hot enough single.
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The Feeling - 'I Love It When You Call'
Gah! What is it about the Feeling that make you just wanna wring all your clothes out when they've strummed their last? They're like the Keane you can admit to liking to your rocksnob mates.
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Top 5 - It's Party Time!
We're having a party to celebrate the end of TOTP Online and the start of the Chart Blog...look what tasty dishes we're serving up...
No. 5: Jelly Furtado
No self-respecting party is complete without a great big bowlful of the wobbly stuff all shaking and vibrating on the plate (easy there, Knowles, we'll get to you in time). Naturally our one is in the shape of that promiscuous girl, and it seems to have gone down a storm with the all-star guests.
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Take That - 'Patience'
Quick history lesson for you young 'uns, Take That were the band Robbie Williams used to be in before he was the very famous solo star Robbie Williams. They were the template for all boybands that came after them, and they had some tunes which were good and some tunes which were not. Their lead singer and songwriter was called Gary Barlow.
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Pink - 'Nobody Knows'
Um, Pink? Hi there. Is it possible...I mean, would you mind if we just had a quick chat? It's about your single choices. You may not have noticed, but there are a couple of tracks on your current album that are crying out to be singles. 'Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)', for example. Or the frankly awesome 'Cuz I Can'.
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Chart Report - 19/11/06
Ìý 1 AKON ft. EMINEM 'SMACK THAT' Ìý 2 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE ft. TI 'MY LOVE' Ìý 3 WESTLIFE 'THE ROSE' Ìý 4 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' Ìý 5 BEYONCE 'IRREPLACEABLE' The entire Top 40 is right here... As a quick glace at the Top 5 will tell you, if you wanna get ahead these days in the world of chart, it helps if you've got a mate who can add a little bit of rap magic. Especially if your song is so OHMYGOD sexy that it means you have to nip (NIP, EH? WAHAY!) off in the thick (THICK!) of the action (ACTION!) to, y'know...do THINGS with SEXYPEOPLE (SEXYPE...oh, you get the point...).
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Jay-Z - 'Show Me What You Got'
Yes, Jay-Z announced his retirement two years ago, but clearly a potter round the house in comfy slacks, a few rounds of golf and a Saga holiday isn't enough to keep the old man down. The few recreational tracks he's since recorded with his lady love and various homies have encouraged hip hop's self proclaimed saviour to stage a resurrection.
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Jet - 'Bring It On Back'
Hey, cleverdick-rockspotters, don't be pointing the finger at this lot and accusing them of just sounding like the highlights of your dad's record collection. That's just mean and lazy, OK? Windows Media: Realmedia: / /
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Secret Shots - The Hugly-Bug Brawl
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365 - 'One Touch'
Crikey, it's been a while since we were all vigorously touched up by a band of busy-handed boyband sexaholics like this, and it's fair to say that it's a feeling you never quite grow out of.
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Snow Patrol ft. Martha Wainwright - 'Set The Fire To The Third Bar'
This should not work at all. Snow Patrol are a band whose main songwriting skill seems to be taking tiny fragments of musical ideas and repeating them, puffing them up with air each time around until the whole song resembles a gerbil who has swallowed a balloon.Continue reading "Snow Patrol ft. Martha Wainwright - 'Set The Fire To The Third Bar'"
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Justin Timberlake - 'My Love'
There's quite a decent song buried in here somewhere, assuming you have the patience to wade through the stupidly lazy two-minute intro, in which Justin and Timbaland say 'Hey' and 'My Love' a lot, with unsexy results.
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Little Man Tate - 'Man, I Hate Your Band'
It's fair to say this lot have heard the Arctic Monkeys. Actually, it's fair to say they've heard them, and then decided to have a go at being them, only a bit older and a little more grumpy, and with a slight 'r' lisp.
Continue reading "Little Man Tate - 'Man, I Hate Your Band'"
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What Makes A Show A Show?
Just bear with me, this will be the last of the Chart Show Live posts for a bit, probably...
One of the best things about going to Chart Show Live was getting the chance to watch five of the biggest pop acts in the world (no All Saints jokes please, they are on their way back, OK?) performing live, and spotting just exactly how they manage to get their on-stage music to sound as perfect and shiny as it does.
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Robbie Williams - 'Lovelight'
Oh, give it up why don't - ooh, hang on a minute, this is pretty good actually. After 'Rudebox's intentional Marmite factor, we were expecting Robbie to release something even more loyalty-testing, like some of his private poetry backed by by an ice cream van cover of Radiohead's 'Paranoid Android'. Or something.
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Akon ft. Eminem - 'Smack That'
How much more minimal can hip hop get? This is barely more than a tiny beat, a bassdrum, and a mouse skipping about on a synth. And it's a singing mouse too, one that goes by the name of Akon.
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Backstage At Chart Show Live (Part 2)
More revelations of an EXCLUSIVE nature...
Chris Moyles bumped into Harry McFly in the backstage foody bit. Harry, being a swotty type of drummer, had his sticks on him, so he could be ready in a rhythm-based emergency or something. Next thing you know, the sticks had been seized and the backstage area was being treated to the sight of a vigorous bout of air drumming from Mr Moyles. Sadly, no-one told Chris that there was actually a fully set up, brand new air drum kit, only inches away from where he was flailing away at nothing. Bah!
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Backstage At Chart Show Live (Part 1)
First of all, it's practically impossible to arrive at a venue where you KNOW five of the biggest acts in pop and rockular music are just milling about inside, AND walk past all the excited people milling about outside who already knows this, and not feel like something AMAZING is about to happen.Seriously, this could be a rap battle between Daniel O'Donnell and the Crazy Frog, and it would still feel like it's on a par with the day McFly came up with that Uranus line in terms of global pop importance.
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The Art Of Naming A Blog
Welcome to the Chart Blog, a place which aims to be less another lost corner of the interwebnet and more a friend, confidante, elder sibling and musical teddy bear to anyone with a love of the most popular records in the land. Naturally, that is fighting talk, so to back up this outlandish claim, we're offering a heady brew of chart news, reviews, clapping, brainy pop features, mucking about, videos, sarcasm, picture galleries, clever-dick commentary (see 'sarcasm'), scientific analysis, pointing and giggling at pop stars, and getting a bit too excited about the brilliance (or otherwise) of modern music.
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Madonna - 'Jump'
Let's just ignore the current bore-nado whipping at Madonna's profile for a minute and talk about her new single in a calm and measured way, shall we? No bitchy comments, just pure music reviewage...Oh God, I can't do it. I want to talk about the stupid video, the outfit, the hair, and maybe, if there's space, all the the adoption stuff. Help! We're stuck in a context harvester.
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Westlife - 'The Rose'
We would really like to be able to launch into how fresh these guys are sounding, breathing new life into the pop ballad and bringing joy to mums everywhere, but sadly no such luck.
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Gnarls Barkley - 'Who Cares/Gone Daddy Gone'
Calling the latest double offering from the Barkley a mixed bag is like calling Nicola Aloud measured and Lee Ryan affectionate, but it's as close we can get without spraying you all with excitable jibber - and that's a bugger to wash out, that is.Continue reading "Gnarls Barkley - 'Who Cares/Gone Daddy Gone'"
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Sugababes - 'Easy'
Gah! What is this FILTH? Fair enough, the art of singing about sex without really mentioning sex is as old as music itself, but this is just dirty with a capital 'Urr'.
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Kasabian - 'Shoot The Runner'
NO! Someone's been at your dad's most prized records and...oh my...it's almost too much to bear...they've been... they've been...BLENDED! He is going to GO. MAD.
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Infernal - 'Self Control'
Oh dear. Dropping the ball after a song as undeniably jiggy as 'Paris To Berlin' is forgiveable, but dropping someone else's ball, that's a little harder to let go. So to speak.
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All Saints - 'Rocksteady'
Anyone see Jonathon Ross last week? All Saints said that they reunited as they thought it was time to be friends again. Aw, bless. Trouble is, everyone knows that friendships don't make for a good girlband. Look at Sugababes, All Saints certainly have.
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U2 and Green Day - 'The Saints Are Coming
Not, in case you were wondering, a tale of dire warning that the Appleton sisters have finally made up with Shaz and Mel, this is a cover of an old song by '70s punkers the Skids, released to raise funds for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Continue reading "U2 and Green Day - 'The Saints Are Coming"
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