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Ring Out The Old...
2006 was a rum old year. New things arrived, old things went. Sometimes the new things were good (Lily Allen, Guillemots), sometimes the new things were bad (too many soundalike indie bands). Some of the old things were on the way out anyway (Chico, Goldie Lookin' Chain) and some of them were cut down in their prime and can't ever be replaced (James Brown, Top of the Pops).
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Chart Report - NEW YEAR'S EVE
THE TOP 5...
Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media. 听 1 LEONA LEWIS 'A MOMENT LIKE THIS' 
听 2 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' 听 3 IRON MAIDEN 'DIFFERENT WORLD' 听 4 AKON Ft. EMINEM 'SMACK THAT' 听 5 CASCADA 'TRULY MADLY DEEPLY' The entire Top 40 is right here... Yep, Leona's not shifting, and neither are Take That, even under a barrage of PURE METAL from the MAIDEN. And look who has suddenly come back into the Top 5...yes, Akominem!
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U2 - 'Window In The Skies'
Before you do anything else, watch the video for this song. It's really something. If you've not already seen it, and want to read about it first, the idea is very simple. Take a collection of tiny clips of legendary musical performers wowing a crowd, and then cleverly cut them so it looks like they are performing the new single by U2. A gesture which puts Bono and co at the centre of ALL POPULAR MUSIC HISTORY FOREVER, whether you like it or not.
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YouTube Raid - Nelly Furtado
Once again, ChartBlog brings you pilfered TOTP footage of one of the pop queens of 2006, but alas, the song we have for you is not the really sexy one, or the other really sexy one. This is the Coldplay one, which is lovely, but does not DO THINGS to the male of the species in the way that the other two do. So it's probably no bad thing after all then. Go NUTS, PEOPLE!!
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Important PR Announcement Dissected
This is an advert for the new single 'Grace Kelly' by Mika. Or Squika, as anyone who has heard him sing must surely be calling him by now. I've watched it a quintillion times (OK, three times) and I have no idea what it means.
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De YouTube Raiden* - The Feeling
As popular as it may have been to dismiss this lot because they're neither 'edgy', nor 'street' (or particularly young, if we're being honest), it's a PROVEN FACT that 2006 needed the Feeling and their fun songs about people not ringing other people when they should've (seriously, their whole album is about that one thing). Yes they play old man pop, yes they're about as cool as jam in an oven on the sun, and yes the indie kids can't stand them. But they're just plain GOOD TO HAVE AROUND, OK?
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Eric Prydz vs Floyd - 'Proper Education'
In the spirit of the way in which this record was put together, here's a brand new and exciting review, made by taking an old review of ours (for Queen vs Miami Project. It's here ) and remixing it using more up-to-date technology. Consider the following to have been performed by ChartBlog vs Fader M (clever name-change there), and all will be well. OK? Here goes....
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YouTube Raid - Guillemots
Anyone who said that Top of the Pops needed 'putting out its misery' because it 'wasn't as good as it used to be', because it had been 'run into the ground', and then went on to do the classic moany-guts too-old dadrubbish moan about bloody miming really needs to see thic clip and then shut the hell up forever more. OK?
That's how you do pop TV. Any questions?
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Toy Story 2: The Empire Strikes Back
Christmas is the perfect time to take a big pile of Christmas crackers to Chris and Serge out of Kasabian, just so we can ask them all about their singer Tom and his love of toys. Turns out, it's not just Tom that can't keep away from all that brightly coloured plastic.
And I bet you thought those puny arms of theirs couldn't manage to pull a cracker properly, right? Well, after a mighty struggle and a little bang (the cracker went bang, don't get excited) they were, er, delighted to discover there was a fake nail inside鈥
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Christmas YouTube Raid - McFly
HAPPY CHRISTMAS, CHARTBLOG READER!
But what the hell are you doing on the Internet, you freak? Get back to your family, it's Christmas Day!
No? Oh well, here, have a present....
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Chart Report - CHRISTMAS EVE!
THE TOP 5...
Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media. 听 1 LEONA LEWIS 'A MOMENT LIKE THIS' 听 2 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' 听 3 McFLY 'SORRY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH' 听 4 CASCADA 'TRULY MADLY DEEPLY' 听 5 GIRLS ALOUD 'I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW' The entire Top 40 is right here... So there we have it. The Christmas No.1 was snatched out of the hands of Take That, passed over the heads of McFly and Girls Aloud, and then given straight to Leona, the winner of this year's X Factor.
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Sharam - 'PATT (Party All The Time)'
Because this is the kind of record anyone could describe in about five words, three of which being 'sample', 'and', and 'loop', let's take a moment to explore some interesting facts about this song.
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YouTube Raid - Gnarls Barkley
ENTERPRISING SOULS STOLE THIS FROM TOP OF THE POPS, I'M STEALING IT BACK....
Performance of the year, song of the year, first prize in the fancy dress competition...is there NOTHING Gnarls Barkley can't do?
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Push The Button - TOTP Christmas Special
This is not the time or the place to do any moaning about how, if it's possible to make a Top of the Pops Christmas Special because people want it so very much, how come it's not possible to make a weekly Top of the Pops any more. That is a matter for another day.
This is the time and place to announce that the Christmas Top of the Pops will contain one very exciting extra feature for those of you with digital TV, and therefore access to that all-important red button. So shush up a minute and pay attention, willya?
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SongSpoiler Special - The Warped Factor Three
This came in today. The tune is 'Starz In Their Eyes' by Just Jack, which comes out on January 15th, you'll know who the performers are if you watch. Apparently Jack's people don't know a thing about this. But aren't you glad YOU do? Yeah, me too!
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New Guest Bloggers - KaTer PriDre
It's been a big year for Katie Price and Peter Andre. The nation's favourite self-foghorning over-tanned celebrity couple have had to fulfil a hectic schedule, what with the endless trips up to see Heat! magazine and the recording of their very first album together (and don't forget, IT'S FOR CHARITY). So what better time than the festive season to catch up with them both and look back on their busy year, right? That's right. There isn't one.
Course, we didn't actually bother to arrange anything, what with all the other festive rushing around we had to do, so here's a transcript of what might've happened if we'd left the two of them alone with a blank screen and a keypad. Enjoy!
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Mary J Blige ft 50 Cent - 'MJB Da MVP'
If there was one thing which made 2006 stand out from previous pop years, it's the fact that music makers of all stripes seem to have collectively and suddenly become bored with the kind of stuff they'd be making up until now and decided to go NUTS. How many times this year has a song come out to a deafening cry of "THIS SHOULD NOT WORK, BUT.."?
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Leona Lewis - 'A Moment Like This'
Time to unveil my guiltiest secret. The one thing that I have kept to myself these past few years. The terrible hidden shame which, if they ever found out, would see me expelled from the Guild of Snarky Pop Writers for ALL TIME, and then thrown in a ditch, to eke out a living teaching worms how to play darts.
Living with a secret is like living with an exploding pig, you're on your guard all the time in case anything evil were to leak out, and you never really know when it's all just going to blow up in your face. So...(deep breath)...I'm going to go for broke here, and reveal my dark side (easy! It's not THAT kind of website)...ready? Here goes...
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James Morrison - 'The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore'
Call me sexist if you will, but for some reason when James does his grizzled old blues shouter thing, it's a profoundly less irritating example of a young person singing way older than their years than when, say, just to pick a name out of nowhere, nothing personal intended, a random choice is all, JOSS BLOODY STONE does it.
Continue reading "James Morrison - 'The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore'"
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NewsTube - December 20th
Beyonce Gets Stuffed Up...Razorlight Get Duffed Up...Cheeky Rascal Vs Naughty Monkeys...Blue All Rise Again....
Webbe Catches Ant Again
It's going to be a Blue new year, possibly...
Lee: "Simon and I went along to An Audience With...Take That. Simon turned to me and said we should do it. The next day we called the boys, and they were really keen, too. We've spent the last couple of days in the studio recording stuff."
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Ranter Clause
You might not remember them, but a couple of years back, there used to be an indie band with massive brains called the Cooper Temple Clause. They had hair like a shocked badger, and were fusing rock and rave when the Klaxons were still just tiny little kazoos. Now they are back, but their hair is not. So ChartBlog asked them what they have learned in their years as indie's brainiest cranium-rockers.
ChartBlog: Your first album contains the song 'Let's Kill Music', to what extent do you think you've succeeded?
Ben: I guess the sentiments behind 'Let's Kill Music' wasn't "let's kill ALL music" so that we'd turn into a 1984-style one party state, it was just we got very kind of upset and disappointed in the late '90s by the dearth of new and exciting music that was coming out.
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Queen vs The Miami Project - 'Another One Bites The Dust'
What is it with the remixing fraternity and the term 'versus' (or 'vs' to give it its full title)? If music were actually a form of battle, or sport there's no question who would win every single one of these heritage remix projects, it's whoever made the original record which is being (only very slightly) tweaked, right? I mean the referees aren't going to have to think very long, are they? Announcer:"The battle between Queen and The Mia..."
Referee: "QUEEN! Bring on the next contestants!"Windows Media: Realmedia: / / Continue reading "Queen vs The Miami Project - 'Another One Bites The Dust'"
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Chart Report - 17/12/06
THE TOP 5...
Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media. 听 1 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' 听 2 CLIFF RICHARD 21st CENTURY CHRISTMAS 听 3 GWEN STEFANI 'WIND IT UP' 听 4 CASCADA 'TRULY MADLY DEEPLY' 听 5 BOOTY LUV 'BOOGIE 2NITE' The entire Top 40 is right here... You know how everyone gets a bit too excited about THE RACE to be the Christmas No.1, and how it's like the ultimate honour and everything? Well, ChartBlog scientists have been working round the clock to analyse the unstable chemical reactions behind this seasonal surge of interest, and have come up with some startling conclusions which could change our very understanding of popular music's wintertime affairs as we, er, understand them.
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Razorlight - 'Before I Fall To Pieces'
A return to the jangly, strum-tastic form for the Razorlight boys following their swoonsome, soppy No.1 single, 'America'. And what a foot-jiggling, jumpathon it is too.
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Last Minute Xmas Shopping List
Some people just don't know how to plan properly, do they? We all know when Christmas is, it's always in the same place in the calender. So how come there's all these late entries into the race for the Christmas No.1? Could it be they're relying on first-week sales alone to get their song up to the top spot? It COULD? Well! How very cynical we all are...
Anyway, according to sources close to the music biz, there's a grand total of seven new songs in the shops as of today, and an extra one joining them as of Wednesday...
THE 'MAGNIFICENT' SEVEN...
听 ALL ANGELS 听 'ANGELS' Review 
听 MARY J BLIGE 听 'MJB DA MVP' 
听 GIRLS ALOUD 听 'I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW' Review 听 McFLY 听 'SORRY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH' Review 
听 JAMES MORRISON 听 'THE PIECES DON'T FIT ANYMORE' Review 
听 QUEEN VS THE MIAMI PROJECT 听 'ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST' Review 听 RAZORLIGHT 听 'BEFORE I FALL TO PIECES' Review
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Girls Aloud - 'I Think We're Alone Now'
Some might say that this is a fantastically sexed-up, meaty version of Tiffany's classic '80s singalonga-classic. And in a Scrooge-like fashion we say, Bah! Humbug and what a load of old turkey giblets!
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All Angels - 'Angels'
Scuse me a second, we've just stumbled across a pet peeve and I'm trying REALLY hard to keep a lid on things in the name of fairness, objectivity and not shouting. The strain is almost overwhelming, mind, so I might not last out until the end of the review, which would be a shame, this being the season of good will to all men and...HANG ON! It's not the season of good will to all women, is it? Right...here goes!Windows Media:
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SongSpoiler 2: The Grumpire Strikes Back
WARNING: EXCESS MUSICAL TRAINSPOTTERY IN PROGRESS! TO AVOID CONTAMINATION, PLEASE KEEP AWAY!
It's not every day that a musician as notoriously light-fingered with other people's tunes as Noel Gallagher accuses some else of stealing HIS ideas. But, listen to this song here. You know it pretty well already, I'd guess...
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NewsTube - December 15th
Talking Mince (No, Really!)...Elton Vs Robbie...Dannii's Talent Revealed...Pete In Police Trouble Usualness...Charlotte's Swearbox...
Oh Dear! Beery Spears's Career Fears
No sign of a calm-down in the stories about Britney Spears going, like, TOTALLY off the RAILS since she decided to divorce Kevin then.
Here's what the New York Post is saying a snitch from Britney's record company told them: "Britney has been told by her people that if she ever wants a comeback, she has to stay far away from Paris and start acting like an adult."And they don't mean Paris the French city either.
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Secret Shots - Skoool Daze
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NewsTube - December 14th
The Politics Of Girls Aloud...Noel G on Green Day...Beyonce On Marriage...Mary J Blige And K-Fed On Britney...Iron Maiden vs Motorhead....
Here, taken from an interview they did with the Spectator, are a selection of some of the political thoughts had by the members of Girls Aloud. Don't snigger, they're cleverer than you think...
Sarah: "We need to make politics more user-friendly. It just isn't talked about in normal magazines and newspapers. We never get asked who we'd vote for. It could be a general question in an interview, but it isn't."
Cheryl: "We are too young to really remember the excitement of Labour getting into power. All we know is what's happening now, which is that Blair equals George Bush and the war in Iraq. So you wonder, 'Why did he take us to war?' It affects the young more than anyone because they've got to go out into it."
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McFly - 'Sorry's Not Good Enough
You have to admit these guys have had a pretty darn good run so far. And based on this corker of a tune, rightly so. Who wouldn鈥檛 like their speakers filled to the max with classic guitar ruckus and the kind of sonic rowdiness that reminds your Dad of 鈥渢he good ol鈥 days of the Who鈥 eh?Windows Media:
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Matt Willis - 'Don't Let It Go To Waste'
Now the dust has cleared slightly on Matt's amazing (and not a little disgusting) win on I'm A Celebrity, it's time to take a look at his solo career once again and have a jolly good think about whether, amazingly nice bloke that he is, Matt's actually got it going on in the superstar talent department. In short, is he King of the Pop Jungle, or just a load of old Kangapoo?
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SongSpoiler - Razorlight - 'America'
WARNING. DO NOT READ THIS FEATURE IF YOU LIKE POPULAR MUSIC AND DO NOT LIKE IT BEING RUINED BY POINTLESS CLEVERDICKERY...
See this song here? It's very popular at the moment.
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Blast Off!
Remember the TOTP site was running a competition with 91热爆 Blast in which you could win two days dance training with pop choreographer Lyndon Lloyd if you filmed yourself dancing about?
Well, all the winners are in, and you're quite an astonishing bunch of movers!Or do the whole thing properly and go to 91热爆 Blast...
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NewsTube - December 13th
GingerLoud vs Lily Allen...Geri's Pooey Horse...Katie Wants Respect...Noel G Can't Be Trusted...Kayne Sued By Evel...Paris Defends Britney, Badly....
It's Raining Manure
Geri Halliwell made a surprise visit to Great Ormond Street hospital this week, accompanied by a shetland pony called Miss Penelope (it's the next celebrity craze after dogs in handbags, donchaknow). Elephant-brained readers will remember Geri taking her little dog Harry to No.10 Downing Street a few years back, where he disgraced his mistress by weeing on the carpet. And continuing this bizarre and disgusting trend, Miss Penelope left her a special present of her own, some horse poo.
And that, boys and girls, is why you don't see horses in hospitals that often.
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Shakira - 'Illegal'
Meh. We all know how well Shakira does odd, so why bother releasing something as normal as 'Illegal'? What we really want is a Timbaland Vs Charlie Busted remix of 'Timor', or something equally mental.
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Top 5 - Song Title Letter Change Roulette
All it takes is a title, and the removal and replacement of one tiny little letter, and you can wreck a song's meaning forever. OH THE POWER!
No. 5: 'Whistle For The Chair'
Oh sure, mucking about with words like this seems like the stupidest and most childish thing to do in the whole world (EVER!). And that, as I'm sure most of you have now worked out, is where ALL THE FUN is. Continue reading "Top 5 - Song Title Letter Change Roulette"
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P Diddy ft. Christina Aguilera - 'Tell Me'
It's funny how you use music in your everyday life, innit? I mean, here's this song, which couldn't sound more like the end of the world (OK, a SEXY version of the end of the world, now leave me alone Christina, I'm trying to WORK here...) if it came complete with the good Lord himself on backing vocals, and you? You're going to listen to it when go you down to the shops to buy some crisps. The perfect soundtrack!
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Newsy Talkchat Popgoss Writeythink
Elton John vs Kasabian...Tweedy vs Doherty...Basement Jaxx vs Robbie...All Saints vs Lily...Britney very much NOT vs a man...
Shoot The Jogger
As he has been in showbiz since Simon Cowell was in short trousers (and not just long trousers worn high) you have to assume that Elton John knew what he was doing when he called Noel Gallager "an absolute t". That's right, he was challenging an equally short man with an equally Beatley haircut to a war of words. But little did he know that Noel has a loyal defendant, in the form of Kasabian's uber-gob, Serge.
This is what Serge told the Sun: "Elton's just a fat man in a tracksuit. Whereas anything that comes out of Noel's mouth is absolute genius. Noel is the last man you want to start with. He's so quick he can destroy anyone."
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Chris Cornell - 'You Know My Name'
If you've seen the current Bond film, you'll know that the title track has a lot to live up to. Namely, it has to look good in tight trunks, it has to be able to withstand torture of the testicles and it has to be very good at poker.
This song title was originally 'You Know My Name. I'm Chris Cornell, Formerly Of '90s Grungesters Soundgarden And Then '00s Supergroup Audioslave. I Have Been Moderately Successful Although Largely Derivative, But I'm Back Now Though.' However it was shortened for marketing reasons.
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Chart Report - 10/12/06
Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media. 听 1 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' 听 2 BOOTY LUV 'BOOGIE 2NITE' 听 3 AKON ft. EMINEM 'SMACK THAT' 听 4 LAZY TOWN 'BING BANG (TIME TO DANCE)' Official Site 听 5 NELLY FURTADO 'ALL GOOD THINGS (COME TO AN END)' The entire Top 40 is right here... Take a look down your high street, or at the house over the way with the lights all over it and the white felt roof. What do you notice about these, and a lot of other things at this time of year? That's right, they have become Christmassy, and the reason for this is, it's nearly Christmas.
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El Chombo - 'Chacarron'
Aww, see what we did for you as an extra Christmas treat there? That's right, we put the version of the song up that contains the words. Cos I bet you've been listening to this minimal, rumble-in-a-tin-can collapso tune all this time and wondering to yourself "hey! This is all very wonderful and spiritually uplifting and that, but I really NEED to get to grips with the LYRICS, MAAAN....", that's like SO where you are right now, eh?
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Eyebrow Raisers
Things in the world of today's pop news which are interesting. And therefore worth reading. Like this...
The De-pants-ification of Mimi
There's a porn star who is about to enter a legal battle with Mariah Carey. Apparently Mariah objects to her name, because she thinks it's going to cause no end of confusion among the kind of people who a) enjoy an adult movie from time to time and b) don't really pause to read the DVD box properly in the adult movie shop. And the reason for Mariah's distress? The actress's name is Mary Carey.
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Snoop Dogg - 'That's That'
Snoop has made not trying his own art form over the years, especially when he's phoning it in as a guest on someone else's song. So, while something like 'Signs' was effortless in an ace way, this track just needs a bit more effort.
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Eminem ft. 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks & Cashis - 'You Don't Know'
It might be because we've not heard Eminem's voice for a while (apart from snoozing his way through 'Smack That', obv), it might be because Fiddy doesn't have to do a huge amount more than the first verse and the chorus bit, and he's not rubbish for once, or it might be because of the explosive nature of the beat they're all rapping over, but this is blimming MARVELLOUS.
Continue reading "Eminem ft. 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks & Cashis - 'You Don't Know'"
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Sunday Night Shopping List - 10/12/06
Another week, another pile of CDs for your Christmas party. Some of these songs will make you want to dance all night and may even give you extra courage to go chat up that special someone you've had your eye on. Others will make you want to go stick your head in a bog. And then there's the Crazy Frog.
Anyway, the CDs are supposed to be ready to buy Monday December 11th, except the Crazy Frog one, which is only available in shoplift form for idiot magpies.
THE FIRST SIX OUT OF THE ALPHABET...
听 LILY ALLEN 听 'LITTLEST THINGS' Review 听 BLONDIE VS EDISON 听 'HEART OF GLASS' 听 CASCADA 听 'TRULY MADLY DEEPLY' 听 CHRIS CORNELL 听 'YOU KNOW MY NAME' 听 LIL' CHRIS 听 'GETTIN' ENOUGH' Review 听 CRAZY FROG 听 'LAST CHRISTMAS' 
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Katie Price and Peter Andre - 'A Whole New World'
At Christmas, a lot of fun and fancy new types of cheese come out. Heck, I think some of them even have fruity bits in. However, until now, I've never tasted a slice of Jordan'n'Pete on my Christmas table. And Aladdin flavour at that.
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Gwen Stefani - 'Wind It Up'
Evidently Gwen didn't get the memo about the cool samples right now being from '80s pop songs. Possibly she just read an old memo from Jay-Z in '98 when it was briefly cool to crib from musicals.Windows Media:
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Lily Allen - 'Littlest Things'
Whoa, where did angry Lily go? She鈥檚 gone all angelic and non man-hating. Gasp!
There are still the usual modern bits and bobs that, like the driving drum machine and bouncy bass line. But unusually, the spotlight has to go on the vintage, 40s piano accompaniment, it鈥檚 just so lush and flowy.Windows Media: Realmedia: / /
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Album Reviews You Can Shop To
It's always the biggest headache of the entire festive season. There are your friends who you know and love and who you could buy presents for in ten seconds flat because you just know the exact thing that they would love to have, and you already know about everything they've got because you spent so much time with them either in your room talking about what they've got or in their room looking at what they've got...(PAUSE FOR MASSIVE INTAKE OF BREATH)...and then there's everyone else. So, in the spirit of hand-helping, here's a list of CANNOT FAIL present ideas for people who you don't know quite as well as the people we were just talking about above. And as a bonus feature, they're all new albums in the shops, so it's unlikely anyone will already have the selection ChartBlog has picked for them already.
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Outwork ft. Mr Gee - 'Electro'
The big question, after listening to a song like this, is whether poetry is dead. No, bear with me. Words are terribly important things, see. Without them, you'd just be staring at the (slightly too rude) video of this song, and the picture of the sparkly lady, and you'd have no idea what it was you were seeing. You might've been expecting My Chemical Romance or James Morrison. And such confusion can be bad for the nervous system.
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Re-Quote Control
What the web says the stars are saying today...
Liam Gallagher wanted to go on The X-Factor. No, really!
"We should have done it. The contestants would have been singing Oasis songs. I would have loved that. If TONY BENNETT can go on, why can't we? "We'd have made it to number one in the album charts without a doubt, but our kid said no and that was that."
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10 Hints That It's The End Of The World...Already!
1: The AntiChrist Is Risen
Actually, in these days of focus groups and people power, it takes longer to agree on who Satan might be than to simply acknowledge the fact that he's definitely here, and move on. You can name and number your own beast from an extensive list which includes Bush, Bin Laden, Blair, Saddam, and the people behind the singing Halifax ads (Big Brovaz? Mortgages? Boy you're really TALKING to THE KIDS now...). Mind you, the most obvious candidate for the post of leathery, cloven-hooved, horned beast who speaks with a forked tongue would surely be Gareth Gates (although we might not spell it 'forked'). So maybe his influence perhaps not as big as everyone said it was. And if you don't believe Gareth could be Beelzebub, or one of his little imps, you've clearly never heard of his extended family, the Gates Of Hell...Continue reading "10 Hints That It's The End Of The World...Already!"
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Morrissey - 'I Just Want To See The Boy Happy'
'Tis the season to be jolly, right? Well, it looks like they forget to tell Morrissey, yet again. No tidings of comfort and joy here. Instead, the cheery chappy reflects, "Let鈥檚 face it, soon I will be dead." Lovely. This is the fourth single to be ripped from 'Ringleader Of The Termentors' and, frankly, it's more miserly than the other three singles put together. Bah humbug!
Continue reading "Morrissey - 'I Just Want To See The Boy Happy'"
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Scissor Sisters - 'Land Of A Thousand Words'
Well, these guys sure can change a mood. We were still bopping around to their last single before we heard this. Now they鈥檝e taking things slow and left us in some sort of sad daze wondering when the song actually finished.
Continue reading "Scissor Sisters - 'Land Of A Thousand Words'"
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Dis-Grace-ful Behaviour
When the chance came up to interview Simon Webbe, it seemed a good idea to ask him about his career to date, and the first time he'd done various things. The thinking was that Simon has branched out from the band which made him famous in much the same way that your humble ChartBlog has branched out from Top of the Pops. Everything is new, and the world feels fresh again. So what better time to ask him about the big 'first time' moments in his career?See if you can spot what went wrong...
ChartBlog: Hi Simon, how're you doing?
Simon: I'm not too bad sir!ChartBlog: Good stuff! Now, seeing as this is your first solo album away from Blue, we've got a list of...
Simon: Did you say my first solo album? It's my second.
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Babyshambles - 'The Blinding'
Just as champion athletes train to run about and jump over things, a music writer must hone their body and brain to the exact specifications of the track they're reviewing.Listening to this song sober is wrong. I know this because I did just that, and it sounded a bit like musical sick.
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Chart Report - 03/12/06
Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media. 听 1 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE' 听 2 AKON ft. EMINEM 'SMACK THAT' 听 3 BOOTY LUV 'BOOGIE 2NITE' 听 4 NELLY FURTADO 'ALL GOOD THINGS (COME TO AN END)' 听 5 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE ft. TI 'MY LOVE' The entire Top 40 is right here... Here is this week's Top 5, as I'm fairly sure you can work out using just your eyes. Now, notice anything amiss? Take That are still No.1, Akominem is No.2, Nelly F and Booty Luv are new to these giddy heights, so you can't begrudge them, and Justin, well, he's SO HOT RIGHT NOW, isn't he? But this is a deeply flawed chart, and I can prove it with graphs and everything...
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Embrace - 'I Can't Come Down'
Quick prejudice check...who thinks Embrace are cack? Who thinks they always release this exact song over and over again, sometimes faster, sometimes slower, and who thinks that this, plus the only-slightly-grown-out Britpop hairdos mark them down as the Forrest Gumps of rock? Everyone else changes, they stay the same, and in the end, they can play table-tennis REALLY well and have run across America nine times. Anyone think that?
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Sunday Night Shopping List - 03/12/06
All being well, here's what kind of thing you can expect to see in the shops tomorrow. That's Monday December 4th, in case your advent calendar got eaten on day 1....
(Oh, and this is CDs, remember, not downloads)...
THE FIRST SIX...
听 JAY-Z 听 'SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT' Review 听 RICHARD ASHCROFT 听 'WHY NOT NOTHING?' 
听 JAMELIA 听 'BEWARE OF THE DOG' Review 
听 PAOLO NUTINI 听 'REWIND' Review 听 GOOD BOOKS 听 'LENI' 听 SCISSOR SISTERS 听 'LAND OF A THOUSAND WORDS'
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Lazytown - 'Bing Bang'
SPECIAL REVIEW FOR YOUNGER READERS. OLDER READERS....GO HERE
Hello there! I've just been listening to a song! Do you want to know what sort of a song I've been listening to? Shall I tell you? Good! The sort of song I've been listening to is a HAPPY song! That's right...it makes me HAPPY, and when I hear it, I want to dance about. Like this (does bouncy dance).
Do YOU want to listen to the happy song too? You DO? OK then..Ready...Steady...
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Jamelia - 'Beware Of The Dog'
Here's the thing: modern pop music is short of genuinely brilliant, original ideas. So, if you can't be the one who does something the first, you have to be the one who does something the best. Sampling an '80s track is nothing new (and we thought Rihanna was going to be hard to beat), but actually making it better - now that's inspired.Windows Media: Realmedia: / /
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Review Haikus
As any devotee of Japanese culture, poetry, or South Park will already know, a haiku is a kind of poem which has very strict rules. Traditionally, the classic haiku has three lines, the first line has 5 syllables, the second has seven and the third has five again. And if you think THAT'S complicated, you should really read the rules about what's considered to be a proper haiku and what isn't, which you can find on .
Anyway, due to the immense speed with which Christmas is bearing down upon us, and the fact that there's LOADS of albums that have come out recently which need making sense of for you, the pop massive, ChartBlog has decided to dispense our immense musical wisdom in poetic form (did anyone spot the internal rhyme in that sentence? Well done!).
Like this, for example:
Matt Willis - 'Don't Let It Go To Waste'
What once was Busted
Has now become fixed, (clever, eh?)
Croc knob, anyone?
or, more musically accurate...
Son of Dork, Fightstar
We know what Matt's interests are
Good job too, really()
And there's PLENTY more where that came from, oh yes!
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The Rapture - 'WAYUH (People Don't Dance No More)'
That bit before the brackets in the title, that's not the Raps being unable to work out the initials of the bit IN the brackets (which would be PDDNM, obviously). It actually stands for 'Whoo! Alright-Yeah...Uh-Huh!', a title which, even with the bracketed bit lopped off, makes no sense at all whatsoever...until you hear the song, that is. After that, it's BOOGIETIME!
Continue reading "The Rapture - 'WAYUH (People Don't Dance No More)'"
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The Passion Of The Chris
Is Lil' Chris too rude for people his own age?
That seems to be what the Daily Mail is getting in a flap about at the moment, or encouraging your parents to get in a flap about, or if not your parents, their parents, and if THEY won't do it, some retired Colonel from Berkshire. Basically, there's the Daily Mail, there's little Chris, and there is a flap waiting to happen. Any takers?Oh, what, you want actual information? Gah! OK.
Right, you'll have all seen the video for Chris's new song 'Gettin' Enough' right? It's been on Channel 4, and it's on Chris's website () and YouTube and everything. If you haven't, it's a parody of all those videos teachers make you watch about puberty, complete with goonish grown-up saying inane cack like "RAD!" to try and appear 'down' with your 'youthspeak'.
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