Hello, future people of the UK.
Fancy a trip to Ancient Egypt?
Well, to reach us, you will need to go way back in time. 5,000 years, in fact. So, go back before the Vikings, back before the Romans, and keep going back, back, back, until you're at the start of the Bronze Age. And, they're building Stonehenge. Now, head southeast to Egypt, about 2,000 miles away.
We're just at the top of Africa. And, well, I'm down there. Yes, you made it. I'm Neffa, by the way, and today is my big day. I'm going to feed the Pharaoh.
Anyway, time to get ready鈥
Linen kilt, check.
Sandals, check.
Eye make-up, check.
Now, let me quickly show you around my home.
It's got all the mod cons. An oven makes great bread. A fridge, well it's a hole in the ground, but it keeps things cool. And, this is our toilet. Well, it's a bowl with a chair on top. Um, will you excuse me for a minute? [WHISTLES].
Okay, time to go to work. I might be only 12, but in Ancient Egypt, everyone's got a job at my age.
I think we should walk. I would take the camel, but camels don't arrive in Egypt for another 3,000 years. I'm following in my father's footsteps. Luckily for me, he's not a farmer like most people, because farming is a tough job.
Can you imagine digging the fields under the sun all day?
We scarcely even get clouds here. As for a nice drop of rain, forget it.
We couldn't even live here if it wasn't for the Nile. It provides all our water and our food, because every summer it floods and covers the fields with a special black earth that makes it really easy to grow crops. Which means there is plenty for everyone to eat, especially Pharaohs.
The Nile is also a great way to get around. Not so good for swimming, though. Bad case of crocodiles. In fact, our whole civilisation is clustered around this river, in cities hugging its banks for 300 miles.
With this river providing everything we need, we've had time to invent some really cool stuff, like a special type of paper, which we made from papyrus reeds. And, astronomy. We use the sun and stars to predict when this river will flood. And, of course, building with stone. Big time.
I expect some of our buildings will be famous for a very long time. These look familiar? Yup, the pyramids. Well, that's how you see them.
In my day, they don't look like that. They've got smooth sides covered in polished limestone.
We build pyramids to bury our Pharaohs in. You do something similar. You've built big stone structures, like Westminster Abbey and Windsor Castle, and they've got tombs underneath where you bury your kings and queens.
But, our pyramid is over twice the height of Westminster Abbey. Just saying.
Anyway, mustn't be late. Can't have the Pharaoh waiting for his food.
Well, this is it. This is where I work. It's a temple. My dad is a priest and I am a trainee. Now, to be a priest, you have to learn some special knowledge, like reading and writing, but hieroglyphics. They are really tricky.
Take the word cat. You draw a milk jar, and then a feather, and then a bird.
Wouldn't it be easier if you could just draw a cat? But, what do I know, I'm just a trainee.
As a priest, my job will be to look after Khufu, one of the most famous Pharaohs ever. And, the most important task is to feed him.
So, this is it. Today, I'm finally allowed to go with the high priest to take him his lunch. Not many people are allowed in here.
By the way, don't expect to meet him because Khufu has been dead for a few years. In fact, he's a mummy now.
When he died, they took out his intestines, his liver, his lungs, and his stomach, and put each of them in a separate jar. They covered them in salt to suck all the water out, wrapped him in cloth, and put him in the biggest pyramid with lots of treasure to take with him into the afterlife.
Anyway, given that he's dead and doesn't have a stomach, you might be wondering why he needs feeding. Well, Pharaohs aren't just kings. They're also Gods, and when they die, they go on a long journey to the heavens. And, the last thing any God wants is to be hungry on the way, so we make sure that Khufu the Great never becomes Khufu the Hungry.
In case we ever forget, the door has a magic spell to create food anyway.
Having said that, he never eats it.
Thanks for coming. Hope you enjoyed it. Quite an impressive place, don't you think? Of course, it won't last forever. After three and a half thousand years, the Romans kind of take over and all this, well, it'll be history.