Is this the sort of form you're looking for?
Posted: Thursday, 26 January 2006 |
I've tried to answer the questions on Sunny's form. Is this that psychopathic testing I've been hearing about?
Hope there's a serviceable boddach out there who liked what he reads, and who isn't Claude Greengrass of No Fixed Abode.
User Name: Annie Beag
Witty One Liner: Wherever I hang my @, that’s my home page. (It said it was a witty one-liner when I copied it.)
[Upload photo here]
Here’s a lovely snap of me by the South Dell sign. Oops. The cyclist was taking an experimental shot and seems to have mis-timed it.
Island: Lewis
Age: Working towards marri...
Star Sign: I once got Kenneth McKellar’s autograph in Oban.
Height: Smaller than an average peat stack
Body Type: ‘One at a time please’ on Speak Your Weight scales
Looks: Generally cheery demeanour. I only glower when bisoms upset me.
Drinking Habits: Cremola Foam, Irn Bru, Sun Ray Tips Tea, Strubag's Coffee and Famous Guga.
Smoking Habits: Throw another peat on
Marital Status: Fank-ready
Have Children: I have been a child
Want Children: Boddachs only need apply
Looking for: Service Level Agreement covering general croft work, home maintenance, transport, etc.
More about you: (Forget whatever you were going to write and tell the truth)
Independently-minded woman with demonstrable track record of working in echelons of varying heights and proven skills in gourmet cookery. Currently gaining skills in Photoshop, gender studies and libel law through the medium of islandblogging.
Your Ideal Match: (Try to think of something other than, "Got a pulse.")
Swan Vesta
Dowry Demands: Croft, tractor, ready supply of WD-40 and Duct Tape.
Dowry Offer: Shared access to novelty cromack collection
Important! This field MUST be filled in: Would you describe yourself as any of the following:
- Mad
- Wacky
- Zany
- Bunny Boiler
- Comb Over
- Collector of fluffy toys
- People have to take me as they find me!
- All of the above
Bunny Boiler is closest as it reflects my cooking interests, but most of the rabbits on the machair have disappeared mysteriously. (Probably at IT courses to catch up with the sheep in the Northern Isles)
If you fancy your chances leave a message below: (or contact me at the Fank)
Hope there's a serviceable boddach out there who liked what he reads, and who isn't Claude Greengrass of No Fixed Abode.
User Name: Annie Beag
Witty One Liner: Wherever I hang my @, that’s my home page. (It said it was a witty one-liner when I copied it.)
[Upload photo here]
Here’s a lovely snap of me by the South Dell sign. Oops. The cyclist was taking an experimental shot and seems to have mis-timed it.
Island: Lewis
Age: Working towards marri...
Star Sign: I once got Kenneth McKellar’s autograph in Oban.
Height: Smaller than an average peat stack
Body Type: ‘One at a time please’ on Speak Your Weight scales
Looks: Generally cheery demeanour. I only glower when bisoms upset me.
Drinking Habits: Cremola Foam, Irn Bru, Sun Ray Tips Tea, Strubag's Coffee and Famous Guga.
Smoking Habits: Throw another peat on
Marital Status: Fank-ready
Have Children: I have been a child
Want Children: Boddachs only need apply
Looking for: Service Level Agreement covering general croft work, home maintenance, transport, etc.
More about you: (Forget whatever you were going to write and tell the truth)
Independently-minded woman with demonstrable track record of working in echelons of varying heights and proven skills in gourmet cookery. Currently gaining skills in Photoshop, gender studies and libel law through the medium of islandblogging.
Your Ideal Match: (Try to think of something other than, "Got a pulse.")
Swan Vesta
Dowry Demands: Croft, tractor, ready supply of WD-40 and Duct Tape.
Dowry Offer: Shared access to novelty cromack collection
Important! This field MUST be filled in: Would you describe yourself as any of the following:
- Mad
- Wacky
- Zany
- Bunny Boiler
- Comb Over
- Collector of fluffy toys
- People have to take me as they find me!
- All of the above
Bunny Boiler is closest as it reflects my cooking interests, but most of the rabbits on the machair have disappeared mysteriously. (Probably at IT courses to catch up with the sheep in the Northern Isles)
If you fancy your chances leave a message below: (or contact me at the Fank)
Comments
At last, a woman who shares my interest in Duct Tape / Duck Tape! We should stick together doll. I don't live on a Scottish Island and can't compete a form like yours, but you can find my dating profile at: http://www.ducktapeclub.com/rock/bios/rock.asp My colleague, Major Stickwell, is also interested in forming new bonds. Do you happen to have a friend so that we could all get together?
Rock Tapewright from Avon, Ohio
Very amusing Annie. And probably very useful in finding your ideal mate. Hang around the cigarette counter to find the Swan Vesta guys. Those buying multi-pack bluebells aren't to be trusted. What were bunny boilers called before Fatal Attraction. I'll have to get that slightly annoying yet strangely alluring bint with the mini to spend months tracking down the definition for OED. We have put your responses into our computer and received the following matches. 1. 32 men with rippling biceps who won't be interested in your ad. 2. 5 Pete burns lookalikes who fancy a bit of Lewisian. 3. 1 seller of duct tape.
Memory for fanks from semi-detached, rockall
I'm sure the Matchmaker will find a second cousin to suit Annie. Is it duck tape or duct tape - I know it's Toilet Duck not Toilet Duct and it's 'tear duct' and not tear duck - but the other one's got me puzzled. It's rich vein our American friend has opened. Is it conduct or conduck? Is it viaduct or viaduck? Is Cremola Foam a product or a produck? The possibilities are almost limitless
calumannabel from the serenity spa adabrock
Well it comes from Duct, as in piping but through use I believe Duck is acceptable especially as one manufacturer uses this as a trade name. I remember a time before Duct tape in this country and it is amazing how such little things are part of american influence. Such as people saying "i'm good" when you ask them how they are. Routers are a good example as both the carpentry tool and the computer thingy are pronounced "Rowter", as in something that routes something else. Anyone who has heard Americans say "which Rowt are you taking" will now doubt be confused and repelled, yet the carpentry tool has been used for a very long time and thus has had that pronounciation for a long time. As a sassenach living in Scotland I haven't picked up too many phrases or pronounciations, but its the little things that start to confuse you.. Should I say Armond or Al-mond? Is it Ap-ricot or A-pricot.. It was interesting to hear the Gaza strip being pronounced on Radio Scotland as we all know it should be, after Mr.Gascoigne himself.
Ducks up the Duct from Truth or consequences, new mexico
Many thanks to Rock (Roct?) Tapewright. You're the only one so far who's been brave enough to put some details online. You don't mention a croft or tractor and it's a long way from Ness to Ohio, although we do have an Avon Lady here. (Painted bisom.) I'll talk things over with my friend Chrissie Mary about a 4-way Service Level Agreement with you and the Major but it might be best if you put your names down for the Fank so that we can meet in person. Thanks also to Calum for the promise of a second cousin as a bactstop if need be. (Just not from the family where all 7 sons are called Murdo.) As for Memory for fanks from Roctall, I'd be interested to know more about the seller of duct tape and whether the woman in Fatal Attraction had a bunny boiler-suit. By the way, I went for Swan Vesta instead of Bluebell because I'd heard about Swan Vesta curries and thought that swan might make a change from the usual - but we've already touched on guga curries in earlier blogs. Here's hoping for more replies and / or bloggers' responses to Sunny's form. The poor woman went to all the trouble of preparing it so the least we can do is show an interest. Cremola was never a prod-anything. It was an irreplaceable elixir. Sob.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Surely is a rich vein..... Would 'Ducks up the Duct' like a scone, sconn, scoan or scoon? Is a Nice biscuit nice as in lovely or Nice as in French Riviera......?
Miss T Potts from The Willows Tearoom, Swainbost
Ah, Vesta curries, what an invention. I think they still make them don't they. Comfort food eh, well nostalgia food. Serve with a desert of Artic Roll and mint matchmakers with coffee.
Vesta curries from Somewhere in the 1970s
Right... I'm going to fill it in ma' sel' dammit woman with your bealin', haud yer sel' together. XXX
Sunny Gone a bit Funny from 91Èȱ¬ for the cetationally well upholstered
Having typed in on Google. "Wishing to meet the love of my life", I was directed to this radical new system of matchmaking, and I hope it will lead to my eventual happiness with the woman of my dreams. I felt it appropriate to respond on Sunny's original blog.
New to this scene from Seven Hebrides for Seven Hebrothers
'Vesta curries' sounds an awfy sophisticated person of the world. Tch. So many new words and phrases to learn, never mind pronunciation! Are mint matchmakers new Dating Extravaganza staff who haven't completed their probationary period in their job? Looking forward to seeing your completed form Sunny. Why aren't the boddachs giveing some details?
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Look on Sunny's orginal blog and you'll see some from the hairier sex (well that's if waxing hasn't hit the hebrides). "Look at that waxing moon" said a brazilian, "now there's something I can take to extremes". I wonder if waning is equally painful. "I'll have a Brazilian wane please",..."sorry sir, only got wanettas here".
Boddachs are coming from unleashed male sensuality in a cardigan
Has Brazilian Wayne sent in a form yet? We're still a bit short of boddachs.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Vesta meals - aren't they just a posh Pot Noodle?
Mad Lamb from staying out of the kitchen for personal safety
You might be thinking of Vespa meals. They were similar, but you ate them on a scooter. Inspirational idea.
Jamie Twizzler from Meals on wheels
Niseach meanderings. (Niseachs come from Ness - the villages in NW Lewis from South Dell to the Butt.)
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