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CAROLYN:
So now we know. It is possible for two women to present the Today programme, together, at the same time, without scratching each other's eyes out. No scrapping for the top interview, no malicious tripping up, no coughing noises off. Just reasonable, grown up behaviour - an oasis of calm.
OK - stop there. Stop the phoney Sisters United stuff. Frankly she was a NIGHTMARE to present with. Luckily I managed to make her crash the pips when Lord St John of Fawsley decided to use the remaining seconds of the programme to expound his plan for reform of the honours system. And whoops, that cup of coffee over her notes. Ever so sorry.
SARAH:
Miaoww … that hurt. That cat Carolyn scratching me again. She's trying to take my eyes out. I should have known. Make the mistake of getting pregnant and look what happens. The presenter who stands in for you is really rather good, a bit too good in fact. And just look what she did: send me crashing into the pips. Of course there can only be one woman on the Today programme. I may have presented with Martha Kearney before and Sue MacGregor. And she with Winifred Robinson, Anna Ford, Jennie Bond and Libby Purves etc. But clearly that upsets the natural order of things.
CAROLYN: (note to self: must remember to wear heels next time)
SARAH: It may be the 21st century - but you can't seriously expect listeners to the Today programme to cope with TWO female voices. They'll choke on their cornflakes. It's a testosterone-driven programme and that's the way it should stay. My God this morning there were four of us ... what with Charlotte Green on news and Rebecca Marsden doing the business. It's a wonder one of us didn't run weeping from the studio.
CAROLYN:
Away from the "catfight over the cornflakes" at Television Centre, I have for the past couple of weeks been back at the Millbank canteen serving up plates of lovely tucker for those lovely MPs. I'll be dropping into Today from time to time, doing tea duty, counting out the jaffa cakes, putting a jammie dodger or two aside for my special favourites.
SARAH:
Well she'll have her work cut out for her next time she comes back. I'm beginning to see the advantage of another woman around the place. She can help me with the washing up. Do you hear that Mr Marsh? Stop waving those marigolds at me.
LISTEN AGAIN:
Former PM speaking on Iraq and Tony Blair's leadership.
Lord St John of Fawsley and French journalist Benedicte Paviot discussing the .
91Èȱ¬ Symphony Orchestra on Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings.
Nicola Stanbridge investigates the garden centre that had for nesting in one of its greenhouses ...
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