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writes:

Hello Gameshow Lovers!

Just so we know where we are, this blog is being written by me (Tim Key). I am a 33-year-old male. I live in an area of London called Limehouse and make ends meet by doing writing (or acting) and also by doing something called "poetry". Difficult to explain if you haven't heard of it, but it's basically what Shakespeare (dead) and Pushkin (Russian) did, and it involves writing stuff down and frowning. More about me later. But first, No More Women.

This is an interesting little match-up. Nihal (wirey; competitive) against Mark Watson (Spindly; bespectacled for reasons of fashion) go toe-to-toe on stools in a joust that should silence a few critics of "exhibition matches". Mark played hard but Nihal (you may know Nihal from Radio One) had a few tricks up his own sleeve, too. The moment he countered Mark's prosaic Steve Cram with his much more forward-thinking Myra Hindley showed the guy obviously had skill as well as bottle.

Of course, it's always a pleasure watching Watson at play (I don't know Nihal's surname but I saw it written down once and it's not something I think I can learn owing to it's length).Ìý He's the master of the "quantity of letters in a word" genre and ultimately it was this that softened his DJ opponent up. Watch out for the look of fear in his eyes when Nihal (you may know Nihal because you were a friend of Nihal before he came into the public eye through his work in music) says "Lady Gaga".

The result's the only thing that matters of course (watch the video) but credit to Nihal. I honestly can't remember seeing such an impressive display on debut since I made my own debut way back in 2002. Debutants! Delightful! Which brings me onto my one beef with this series of matches to date.

Last week a match between myself (smart; Tim Key) and (tut, Rick Edwards) went "on-line". I hadn't seen the "finished version" of this "piece of content" so was interested to see how it looked. Obviously, with Rick's sumptuous features writ large, and with me more than holding my own, it was always going to be easy on the eye. However, I was appalled with what I saw. I am not bitter about being defeated by Rick (if I'm going to lose to anyone I'd rather they were attractive). My problem comes with the FACT that I know I did not lose that match.

It will probably dismay you, that match was a very competitive draw (with plenty of ebb and flow). At times I felt quite under the hammer, it's true. But I fought the good fight, I dug in, and I got a draw. And now I see that SOME PEOPLE ('s central to this) have been "editing" and "massaging the figures" (there's a girl called Lucy involved) and "tinkering with the footage" to make it look like I (you know who I am) lost.

So I'm appalled.

And I felt that needed to be said.