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Whats in your bag?

If i can get the next bus i will come and have a game of table tennis with you,I have a weak bladder at the moment tho so dunno if i can travel that far..unless there is a toilet on the bus...we could play for a bag for life from the co op?

hahahahah !!!! Awh Angelos have you got a girlfriend *blushes*

Angelos...I am concerened about the environment, specifically the mess in the mexican gulf. If we could sort it out , kinda, how could we do it,. I don't mind teaming up.

Angelos...
Now.. I`m no Steven Cowell from that X factory business... but I reckon you might need to just hear Mortimer out ..
I know you`ve `Cracked` the Dancing and all that mucking about ..but watching the contents of your silver suit ..is more than disturbing for me ...let alone the kiddies, an all that.
Waiting for the next episode and if that suit come out again ...from behind my hands

Love the decor Angelous. Was wondering what's your favourite colour in socks and do you buy cheap socks or good quality ones?

What's the best way to get the pips out of a red pepper?

Dear Angie - have you got any advice or equipment for someone whose starting their own burger van business? I am looking for a career change as I no longer find thoracic surgery as fulfilling as it was.

Dear Angelos Neil Epithemiou
3 questions: I too wear glasses, where can i get a pair like yours from?
Can I have your tusk? It would go nicely on my desk
And where did you last go on your holidays?

I wrote you a tweet asking for a signed object from your pound shop but I'm getting quite desperate now. How do you feel about being stalked?

Hi Angelos! What is Bob like as a friend?

Dear Angelos,
Who is more anoying annoying Vic reeves or Bob Mortimer?

Mr Angelos

In your opinion, which is the best kebab shop in London? Also - Donner or Shish??

Geordie

Is it problems you are answering now? Here is mine....How can I remove the smell of pish out of my sofa,carpet,bed?I have tried shake n vac but was told it just ''masked'' the odour.
Also i dont know if you know this but your slacks are half mast,if you were at school I would ask you if your budgue had died.

Angelos,I think Bob Mortimer and Vic Reeves have made you look like a bit of a plonker on shooting stars. If you had more control over output of the show, how would you change things?

My question/comment number 16 i have wrote budgue instead of budgie. Sorry.

Dear Angelos,

I currently work as a designer and feel that your personality, intelligence and wit would apply themselves very well to working as a designer, have you considered this as your next career move? If you require any help in this area Im not sure I'd like to get hat close to you as you look like you may smell but could help you via e-mail/telephone, alternatively we could meet and I wear a peg on my nose.

My main question though for you Angelos is this, if you were a 'designer' what would you design?(would it be environmentally based?)

Dear Angelos Neil Epithemiou,
Something has been bothering me for a while, and seeing as you are a problem solver I was hoping you could help me:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
I look forward to hearing the answer dreckly
Proper Job

Angelos, thank you for your reply to my previous post, i've always enjoyed shooting stars but if they're going to make a habit of taking normal people and trying to stitch them up then they'll be better off on the pop idols. How do you think Vic and Bob would get on trying to run your van? (were she still with us, god rest her soul)

Angelos, Ive had a look at your burnt out burger van and i reckon i could get it back on the road for you at a price that you would like and a price i would like, lets say free burgers and chips on a Friday for two months and free bacon rolls of a Tuesday for two months plus some cash that we can talk about, how does that grab you, let me know

How do I turn the oven on?

Hello again!! It's all very interesting you having a brother Argafffyayus(or something like that) a bomber! The best i can do is an ex postman for a brother.Does your brother live in a cave?
My question is....I have an awful problem with bluebottles in my house,they gather in the bathroom and my bedroom,please let me know how to get rid of them as normal fly spray I buy from the garage doesnt even make them go a wee bit mental like the flys that get sprayed with it.I think you should know this as i suspect you were tortured with them in your burger van?

p.s One has now flew in the kitchen and 2 in the living room.

Dear Angelos,

Are Tony Ackers and Babs Cabs your mates? You seem to always answer their questions. Tony Ackers seems like a bit of a plonker himself, I think he wants to see you on Britains got Talent. If you were on that show, what would your talent be to impress the judges? I think Amanda Holden is the new Ulrika so you'd need something good.

Thanks,

Michael

Hello Angelos

Hope you are well !

Could you please tell me what the meaning of life is ?

thanks ever so much

Clare

Angelos

i have some meat for you, the boss don't know that i taken it even if he does i don't care, but it's yours if you want it.

also can i have another 6 bottles of that burger sauce from the van, fat janet finished it all with cold tony.

Angelos, I'm also in the food business and all that and have a question for you.
In the cheffing world you've got your Gordon Ramseys, your Anslie Harriets, you know, your Ronald McDonalds, but who is your catering inspiration and why?

I like that Gary Rhodes off the Masterchefs myself, but his hair does make him look like a bit of a berk.

What is your choice of evening entertainment? Do you have a favourite bar?

Hi Angelos,

Aside from your incredible talent at working in a burger van, are there any other things you're a professional at? What about acting? I swear I saw you in Armstrong and Miller once, only you looked less smelly in that.

Do you watch wrestling? Also tell Lee Phillips he is a dirty boy.

Hello there Angelos,I have given Mortimers punishment a lot of thought...about 3.5 minutes to exact.
Could you get your hands on a suit very similar to your silver one(you may have to try dwarf/childrens shops) and get him to dance to your music tape what you danced to on your first Moving On But he HAS to do it in a busy town street or a city depending where yous live!p.s I have seen Reeves & Mortimer live and i have to say they are bloody funnyxx Sorry this is our last chatxxx

Thank you for answering (or not answering, as it transpired) my previous questionses.
This week i would like to know what was your favourite childhood memory and what inpsired you to get into the burger van business?
I think you should make Mortimers dance in a silver suit like yours in the middle of a public highway as a punishment for tricking you to go to France.

Oh, and sack Mortimers and get that big baby george dawes as your agent

ere angelos, what you want to do to Mortimer is get an old video of "Vic Reves Big Night Out" ( from way back) and put it on when Mortimer is about and say "ere Mortimer This is you WIFF A HEADFULL O HAIR" you might get im crying, all the best, Hairy Jimmy

oh just one thing before i go , is it true that Ulrika is a "LadyBoy" you might of noticed when you were sitting next to her?

Dear Angelos, I have recently purchased a crab as a pet but when I take it for walks it insists on walking sideways and this is very embarrassing. Do you have any tips to train my crab to walk in a straight line?

What to do with Mortimers:

Make him watch videos of vans burning, repeatedly. Then he will more readily appreciate you predicaments.

Angelos, what do you think of your old boss Brian Gittins? Would you consider going back to work picking up the condoms and mopping up?

Angelos,
Do you like Biltong? I think it's very tasty. Also, for Mortimers's punishment, I suggest making him dress up as Donald Cox the Sweaty Fox and parading him through Pyecombe.

Dear Angelos,

Soemthing I have done recently has been playing on my mind, I need to get it off my chest. I'm sorry, but it was me who destoryed your burger van.

I bought a burger from your van and you gave me the brown sauce instead of red; and the rage just built up inside me untill I torched your beloved van. I then contacted Aggafeus and sent some money his way so that he would take the blame for it.

I am very sorry for what I have done, can you ever forgive me Angelos?

Do you hear from Marylin anymore? If so, what are her rates?

Angelos, Can you say Mr Bronson?

Hello Angelos (Yes its me again) as this is our last chance to ask you something here are my questions....(you did say we could go mad)
I like watching horror films and reading books on serial killers,what is your favourite horror film? Mine is Texas chainsaw massacre,and who is your favourite serial killer?I like Dennis Nielson,he was a bit odd and i notice from old photographs of him you dress very alike,I hope YOU are not one of them hahahaha!!!

Right, I know a lovely lady called Tracy that I REALLY want to have a fiddle about with. I’ve tried blummin' loads of romantic stuff with her (Such as whispering sexy things in her ears, sculpting her face out of malt loaf, you know the usual soppy stuff) but she ain’t having any of it.
Angelos, please could you tell me how to seduce a woman, cause she’s really doing my head in.

hello again Angelos, my last question is: why do you not talk very much about your dad Fabio Capello, i thought that having the England manager in the family could be a boost for your new career plans

Hi Angelos.

Did you know that WD-40 prevents slugs from climbing plant pots? I didn't.

It also apparently cleans crayons off washable surfaces and stops mud sticking to spades. Amazing, eh! I think I might save up and buy some... unless you can recommend any cheaper ways of dealing with slugs, crayons and mud? If so, I'll save up for some bleach instead so that I can go fishing.

Hi Angelos, have you ever thought about joining Agaffyus as a bomber and becoming family bombing team. Also, Who is your picture of on your wall by the table

Came to see you in Shooting Stars with Trish, Miller, Guest, etc. 'I WANT MY SOUL BACK' You took a picture of me on your disposable I was in the front row, I'm a ginger and I waved at you. Either publish the photo or send it to me, its the only way I can keep my soul.........

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Hi angelos, im enjoying your online adventures. Now I have heard that a Dalek destroyed your burger van. If true, what would you do to deal with it before it also exterminated you?

Regards, Matt

Hi Angelos, which place was better - where you were when Michael Jackson died or where you were when Diana died?

Angelos,

My mate Davis knows your mate Kenny. Kenny and him used to go fishing down the aquarium and that together and once they caught a small shark but flogged it on the market for a CD of Bob Dylan. Can you ask Kenny for the CD please, cause I haven't listened to it yet. Also, kenny gave him gupta’s emails addresses and we are thinking of starting a shopping trolley protection business and Gupta told me that you are good at dealing with peoples and all that mucking about. Do you fancy joining in on this? It might be good for the recessions. Just give Kenny a bell and let him know.

Cheers.

Angelos, in episode 3 of moving on Mortimer punched you in the face. Do you have any plans to do the same back to him?

Dear Angelos,

I work in a nursery (with plants not children) and we often have problems with Vine Weevil, sometimes resulting in some of the stock having to be destroyed, have you ever had any kind of similar infestation in your van?

Or even in your bag?

Dear Angelos
Do you think that Hip Flasks will ever go out of fashion?
and - if you spill crumbs on a table at a business meeting - do you think it is best to carry a hamster in a ball to mop things up?
Cheers
John

The sound of you eating crisps is reminiscent of the sound that tanks make when they roll over the remains of human bones. Please stop it.

You have a lot of comments and questions aimed at your good self. Why do you think this is?

Will you perhaps consider going out with me?
Thank-you.

Come on - show us your best chicken dance...then I will know its for real this stuff!!! Chicky Chicky Chickeeeen!

Best thing on the web!

Dear Angelos,

now that you have settled with bein on the telly & all that, away from the stench of burger fat! would you like to get into movies?!
if so, what kind???

would you consider being a Superhero, better still, the next Bruce Wayne in a BATMAN movie if asked, or would you rather be a villian???

i'd like to continue asking questions but like yourself, i must get to londis, for some marg & if i got enough change, a can of lilt & maybe a milky way...

Dear Angelos

You are a hero. Your electro funky DJ set on the first episode was outstanding. Who is your musical hero?

I found a very old Kitkat behind the microwave. My question is - how long can you keep a melted kitkat before it goes off? I know you are an authority on food that is on the turn.

Shouldnt you have put the contents of your bag in the freezer by now?

Hi Angelos :)
Just wondering... have you been to specsavers? I want some gorgeous glasses like what you wear ...

Angelos u are gorgeous, are you on facebook would u be my friend?

Hello mate love your stuff. watch the show all the time
just wondered if u could tell me the name of that electro
track/song it's bangin!!!! Fanx . Dj Pressure

I love you

Hello Angelos when are you gonna invite ulrika jonsson round for a cup of tea and a fig roll?

What age were you and where were you when you lost your cherry?

what's in your bag? is it another bag?

what can you make out of banana peel? Its just lying there and im sure I can make something out of it but I dont know what :(

which should i moisturise my feet with, orange or lemon?

Whats your favourite meat, and how do you like to cook it? given your untimely experience in the burger trade.

As a culinary expert, should I eat the last half of the tin of mushy peas in my fridge, or should I leave them until the next bank holiday?

I think you are very amusing Angelos - you can tell you are very talented - you make Tuesday brighter x

runnin away together, runnin away forever, angelos xxxx

Dear Angelos,do you plan to forge a career in music? only I have enjoyed your techno
songs on shooting stars. If so what would you call your first album?

Is it better to have tiles or lino in your bathroom, and what kind of flooring would you recommend? Thanks.

One of my mates is Greek but he doesn't eat kebabs. Is he lying about being Greek or the kebabs? (His marital status rests on your answer.)

Is it true that you applyed for shooting stars by sending bob a dvd and ur cv on a peice of kitchen paper.. is it possible to have your autogrpah your a legend

I love you Angelos, will you marry me? xxx

Angelos. Whats your favourite smell? I like the smell of that sweat old blokes get under the wigs, dont like the taste or anything, just the smell.

angelos, if it takes a man a week to work a fortnight , how many nuts in a bucket of tar?

Hello Angelos! I was wondering since you're a DJ now if you would be to DJ at my wedding next year? Get back to me with the details! Thank you! x

Dear Angelos, obviously you are a very handsome, attractive young man who has had a lot of girls in his time, could you offer any experience or knowledge on your secrets about bringing in the girls by the bucketload (literally)?

Hi Angelos, I saw you at Latitude and thought you were excellent! Unfortunately I didn't manage to guess that the secret common household object was a tusk, but if you were asked to guess a common household object by somebody, what would you go for?

Have you ever played the world of warcraft, ate too much cheese then dreamt about wizards?

Hi Andrew, I just wondered what you thought of the Gaza strip situation? I'm glad to see that your hair has grown back and you've ditched that baby suit.

Have you ever been in love Angelos??

theres one thing i dont understand........chineese writing, but apart from that theres another thing i dont understand. you know when you find cheese in ya pocket what kind of hat should you wear while eating it?

your series of moving on is alright but its not my cup of tea. i only watched it all cos i got nothing else to do ever. got ant ideas of things to do? i dont like eggs, cheers luckyjonny

Hi Angelos. I was just wondering whether you still get to Brian's Cafe? Or are you too showbiz for all that now?

Angelos, I've never written to a celebrity before but I adore you so much I had to. I, like you, am a genius idiot, or i might be an idiot genius, i haven't worked it out yet.
Anyway, i want to start a little fan club, just for people in my area, but a couple of us want to dress like you (not me i'm a female and couldn't pull the tie off). They therefore need to know how tall you are, so they can get the right length trousers.
You keep up the good work and I hope you continue to put those reeves/mortimers in their place.

Thank you if you read this. If you don't...(shrugs)

Angelos, why cardigans?

Whos the pictue on the wall of Angelos?

To Angelos Neil Epithemiou

Why are you wearing your coat when you are inside?! When you go out, you won't feel the benefit!!!

Also, more importantly, would you rather be attacked by 50 horse sized ducks OR 50 duck sized horses?

You Are SO Funny! Lol
I Was Crying When I Watched The Q&B Parody, It Was Too Funny..
You Are The Funniest Person I Have Ever Watched!! :)
I Hope You Read This! Please Write Back :)
And What Would You Rather Do? Bite A Duck, Or A Duck Bite You? Lol :)