91�ȱ�

We’re all familiar with the old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” However, we know that harsh words can be just as hurtful as physical bullying.

Konnie Huq and Harry Judd recount their experiences of being bullied in school and how they navigate bullying now that they have children of their own. Read on for expert advice to help you understand where bullying happens and how to tackle it…

Where can bullying happen?

Bullying can occur in all kinds of spaces - at school, after-school clubs and even online and it can be difficult for parents to protect their children when they aren’t present in these spaces.

During Anti-Bullying Week, we spoke to Director of the Anti-Bullying Alliance, Martha Evans, on the environments bullying can take place in and how parents can help their child overcome it.

“Bullying can happen anywhere where children can communicate,” Martha explains.

“We find that bullying mostly happens in school, whether it be on the way to or from school, transitions between lessons in the corridors, or at break times on the yard.”

“Bullying can also happen online. It can be particularly scary when it happens online because people can do it anonymously. Sometimes people don't think about the impact of their actions when they do things online.”

Martha’s top tips to tackle bullying

1. Talk about bullying

It’s really important to start conversations about bullying with your children as early as possible. Talk about how we should treat each other. For younger children, it might be questions like…

• ‘What does a good friend look like?’

• ‘How does a good friend make you feel?’

• ‘What are the ways that some people might be different to you?’

• ‘How do you help someone if they are feeling sad?’

And when children get a bit older, you could start asking slightly more nuanced questions like…

• ‘When can bullying be a crime?’

• ‘What kinds of ways are cyberbullying and face-to-face bullying different?’

• ‘How would you report cyberbullying?’

Having these conversations before bullying occurs can really help when navigating it later.

2. Stay calm

It can be challenging to find out that your child is being bullied and you might become emotional, even angry, seeing them upset. It’s important to stay calm - the first thing to do is to really listen and reassure your child that coming to you was the right thing to do.

Assure them that the bullying is not their fault. You're never bullied because of who you are, you're bullied because of someone’s attitude towards you. Be kind to yourself too, it’s easy for parents to blame themselves but it’s not your fault either.

3. Establish the facts

Before taking any action, you need to establish the facts. Try to find out what occurred, how many times it happened, who was involved and where it took place. If the incident was online, make sure to take screenshots and try to keep that evidence. Keeping track of everything or creating a log can help when reporting bullying.

4. Talk to your child’s school and seek advice

Talk to your child’s school and find out what their bullying policy is - this will outline how the school might deal with it. It’s best to follow their policy to ensure things get worked out properly.

Don't encourage retaliation. It's completely understandable why you may think it’s a good idea, but it tends to have very unpredictable results. If a child who has been bullied tries to retaliate or do something, they often can find themselves in trouble with the school and it can even make the bullying worse.

5. Have fun outside of school

While school might be a difficult environment for your child, it’s important that they still have fun in their lives. Try to encourage your child to get involved with things they enjoy outside of school.

They could go to events they are interested in, start a hobby, or get involved with a youth group where they can meet other kids. This will help them make new friends and increase their confidence again.

If you notice your child is showing signs of serious distress like anxiety or depression, make an appointment with their GP.

For more information about Cyberbullying, head over to

C91�ȱ� have made some animations on the things your child can control around bullying - they're here on 91�ȱ� iPlayer.

Martha Evans is Director of the

Anti-Bullying Week takes place from the 13 to 17 November and is organised by…

in England and Wales

in Scotland

in Northern Ireland

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