What to do if you've been mean

91�ȱ� Teach > Primary Resources > Online safety > Online bullying

Article summary

This article looks at what to do if your students are worried that they may have been a bully or bullied someone.

Bullying can be physical, but it can also be a whole lot of other ‘nastiness’; deliberately ignoring someone, making a fool of them, embarrassing them, gossiping about them.

Online it can be leaving horrible comments, stealing someone’s pictures, posting about them without their permission or leaving them out of group chats.

Five things you can do if you've been mean to someone

So if you feel like you’ve treated someone badly – whether you meant it or not – how do you get back on the right track?

1. Tell someone

It might be really hard to talk about things you’ve done, especially if you feel bad or guilty.

But being honest with yourself, and getting support from a trusted adult, is the first step to making things better.

If you find it difficult to say it out loud, try writing it down or sending a message to ask for some help.

2. Think about how you're feeling

If you’ve bullied someone, or acted in a mean or hurtful way, think about why you did it.

Is there a reason you wanted to upset someone? Do you have bad feelings you need to express but you don’t know how to get them out? Is someone bullying you?

If so, speak out and get some help.

Sometimes bullying someone else can make you feel powerful or popular, but that feeling never lasts.

Take some time to understand what’s driving you and the way you treat others.

3. Say sorry

If you genuinely regret treating someone badly, say sorry.

An apology can be really important – for the person you’ve bullied, but also for you. It shows that you understand how your actions have affected that person, and that you know it needs to change.

Saying sorry can be difficult, and you need to respect the other person if they don’t want to talk to you.

Sending a message, or getting help from an adult, can be a good first step.

4. Learn from your mistakes

You might not have realised at the time that you were hurting someone, but looking back things just don’t feel right.

If you have sent messages or left comments online, read them back and think about how they made the person feel. What might you do differently if you were writing them now?

Everyone makes mistakes – but a bit of distance can help you figure out ways to make a positive change in the future.

5. Get expert help

Owning up to bullying takes guts – and it can be hard to know how to make things right. But you don’t have to do it alone.

There are loads of places online to get help and support. offers counselling online and on the phone, or check out

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