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Perhaps three years of my daughter鈥檚 continuous health problems had got to me; perhaps it was the long winter months; perhaps I was just tired 鈥� but late last year, I wasn鈥檛 in the best of places. Life felt so difficult and dark. It was as if the colour had gone out, and every day was a fight just to get up.
鈥淚鈥檓 struggling down here鈥� I told God, and then I made a rather unimaginative request. Instead of asking for help, or relief, I prayed 鈥淐ould you give me the flu?鈥�

If I could sleep for a week, maybe everything would feel better, I reasoned to myself.

God didn鈥檛 give me the flu. Instead, a week later, I found a lump.
I waited a week. Perhaps it would go away, I thought. It didn鈥檛.

I called the doctor鈥檚, and less than an hour later I was sitting with my GP who confirmed it needed investigating, and referred me directly to a specialist. 听
I went home. I pondered, and planned. My eyes drank in my children. They seemed extraordinarily beautiful.

Ten days later I was in a room filled with other women. The most amazing team of people helped us all through some pretty uncomfortable tests. My lump was benign. I know that some of the other women were not so fortunate. They had to go home to their family and friends and put in place plans in difficult circumstances.

For me, I was very lucky. For sure, I had faced tests with my daughter. For sure life seemed a little bleak. But the lump gave me the gift of some perspective. My senses became heightened. Family became something to be longed for. The world became beautiful again鈥攕omething worth fighting for.
There is a saying that God doesn鈥檛 give us what we want, but rather what we need. For me the lump was the wake-up call I needed to realise that life is a wonderful gift that shouldn鈥檛 be taken for granted. It is beautiful, and something to fight for.

It shouldn鈥檛 take the threat of serious illness to give perspective, to give meaning, but for a moment--for me--that is exactly what it took, and I am truly grateful for life, and for fresh eyes to look at it with.