91Èȱ¬

Felicity Finch aka Ruth in doubles as a radio reporter.Ìý Here she investigates the secret lives of her Archers co-stars: psychologist Charlotte Martin who plays Susan Carter; and music technologist Barry Farrimond who is Ed Grundy.

Ralph takes JP by theÌýhand and shows him the streets that inspired his famous song ‘Streets of London’.

Ralph’s new album, Sofa Noodling, is out now.

The Slow Days

The slow days down to New Year’s eve arrive,

the sherry fug of Christmas afternoon

is swapped for sodden walks and turkey pie

as flames lick green their wrapping paper feast.

Ìý

In Bolton, Beccles, Basingstoke and Barrhead

cabin fever seizes naughty boys.

In Colchester, Kirkcaldy, Cowes and Croydon

fathers take the batteries out of toys.

Ìý

And life plods on like boiled brussel sprouts,

the papers ration out what news they can,

it’s floods or sales or national archive scraps

obituaries march sombre to the front.

Ìý

In Droitwich, Douglas, Dewsbury and Dawlish

the grown-up single children leave for town.

In Falmouth, Fishguard, Fakenham and Frodsham

the tinsel round the bannisters falls down.

Ìý

And so we turn to retail parks and malls

roam listlessly in close and drowsy wafts

half-dazzled in the vast resplendent halls

then join the traffic slowly shunting home.

Ìý

In Greenock, Glynneath, Glossop, Goole and Gosport

the chocolate tins are cellophane and air.

In Halstead, Harrow, Holyhead and Hexham

a grandad guffs with gusto in his chair.

Ìý

But spare a thought for cops and chefs on shifts,

for bellboys on a night bus in the rain,

for grizzly guvnors hauling out the bins,

for Jacks and Widow Twankies on the stage.

Ìý

In Leighton-Linslade, Letchworth, Looe and Loughor

they roll the metal shop-fronts up at six.

In Mossley, Morpeth, Melksham, Mere and Monmouth

there’s breakfast DJs churning out the hits.

Ìý

And minutes fall like needles from the tree

as neighbours call round: is it bins tonight?

and relatives on platforms are set free

‘til finally the last hurrah pulls up.

Ìý

In Narbeth, Nayland, Normanton and Nantwich

they’re counting down all pints and lily-flesh.

In Potton, Prescot, Portishead and Paignton

they snap the dead year off and start afresh.