Party Crashers
Monica Fuller thought she would hold a party for her daughter Morven’s 15th birthday.
Monica wasn’t taking any chances: she hired security, kids were only admitted if they were wearing issued wristbands, no glass was allowed past the front door and everyone was required to leave their valuables in a room at the front of the house, guarded by a couple of Monica’s friends.
But they made the mistake of having too much lead-up time to the party – three weeks. During that time, word spread like wildfire on the internet. It became such a hot ticket that some invites to the party were sold.
Monica didn’t go into the house until about 11:30pm but by then her house had been well and truly trashed.
The question "what were you doing when you were 15?" brought back the memories.
I was partying with adults and other teens as part of a theater group, watching the 20-somethings get legless and drinking or not as I chose. Funny thing is, my 15 year old son will be at our party tonight with several friends, his, ours and shared. No chance of party raiders here.
I think the idea that teens should be on their own rather unfortunate. I enjoy their contributions to a party as well.
Complain about this postWas just listening to the programme and guess I must be one of the lucky ones ... a planned in advance party for 50 (well actually it might be nearer 70 mum! ) 17 year olds in our home. Madness ? It was OK for me to be there and despite offers to make myself scarce I was there topping up the food and minding various bottles on request. Obvious valuables were put away for safety but other than warning the nieghbours there might be loud music and some furniture shifting to make more space, normal house rules for respect applied.
Complain about this postIt was a great evening ... the youngsters danced, ate, talked .. the music was loud and one lad was ill but in the bathroom. Two groups of potential crashers were turned away and other than one carpet spill, mud in the patio doorway where smokers came and went the house remained virtually unscathed .There were 20 or so asleep on the floor in the morning ... the last one left at 3 pm the following day when the clearing up was complete.
Guess I was lucky but it wasn't the first party and I don't suppose it will be the last ... suppose this is just a word from another experience.
Why was the "hired security company" not able to deal with the party-crashers/anti-social behaviour? The mum made no mention about what they were doing when the party "got out of control".
Complain about this postI was listening to the programme, and wanted to comment on my perspective of why young people are so destructive at parties.
Complain about this postI am currently 21 and although I had a middle class upbringing, I was drawn to a group of 'trouble makers' at the age of 13 because I was bored. I often found what I was doing was against my morals, which I thankfully have a lot more respect for now.
The people I was spending time with, seemed to find humour in ruining things, at the time I didn't feel I could stand up to them because I didn't want to loose their friendship. Now when I look back it seems to me these kids were partly jealous of what other people owned and partly felt that they wanted to impress the other members of the group by breaking norms and rules. I honestly feel teenagers are given nothing to do, and there is no discipline to prevent them from finding inappropriate entertainment.
I think teenagers need venues, similar to pubs but without the alcohol, where they can sit and chat in a civilised environment. I don't think it's surprising that they turn to petty crime and alcohol when the only place they can socialise (away from their parents) after 5PM is a park.
It's not venues that are needed but goals, not discipline but, from birth, a supportive family & a moral framework - as Alison has clearly had had & which has fortunately led her to reject her teenage companions' behaviour.
Complain about this postTeenagers are provided with endless things to do, places to be, but they are teenagers, so they reject them all! As they should. As I & my mates all did (in the 60's). They have to find their own preferences, their own way; hence the need for goals & frameworks.
The party mum was a strange mix of preparedness, -Security firm, (&where were they?), no glass, etc, & daft naivete, blaming 'friends' whilst absolving the daughter.
18th? A good meal in a decent restaurant for friends & family of all ages. Never encourage the teenage peer-group ghetto mentality.
I can understand people suggesting that the problem is spoilt children but really it is spoilt parents, possibly spoilt by their own parents, possibly spoilt by something or someone else.
Complain about this postThe real problem, it seems to me, is parents who won't grow up and take responsibility for being parents. It's not that you can't be your child's friend, it's that you need to be the adult in the relationship.
Unfortunately, a lot of grown ups haven't or won't. There could be many reasons for this lack of maturity but let's face it, once you're over the age of, let's say for argument's sake 21, you have to accept responsibility for your own life with all its disappointments and traumas.
I suspect that this is also a cause of anorexia in our youth, encouraged no doubt by the consumer society's obsession with appearance. This applies particularly to women but in these days of equality also, sadly to men.
I like to party hard
Complain about this postSounds like the party to end all parties! I'm sure it will go down in the annuls of The Fuller's life as having been the correct decision despite the fall-out. The benefits superseed the problems I think. Damage can be repaired but the Kudos the party gave to Morven can not be bought. I would have been happier for my daughter to have gone to that party than, say, one held in an empty house without all the safeguards put in. I am certain, too that Morvan gained from the possible mistakes made- seen with hindsight?- and learned lessons about people's more basic failings. She probably gained more over those few hours than most of do in several years!!! Monica has gained by being unlikely to ever have to host another teenage party - or being nagged to do so. I promise Monica not to smear faeces, break tiles, throw food, have sex in the garden or write expletives on the bathroom mirror in toothpaste when at your "big one" - I'll just sip the fat free coke. Live life on the edge - that's my motto.
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