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This evening, my girlfriend is reading as part of a guest readers series for our local gay and lesbian newspaper, . I always go to her readings, not only because I鈥檓 a supportive partner and a big fan of her work, but also because I like to hear other authors and be out in the scene. Unfortunately, I鈥檓 really conflicted about going to this event and it doesn鈥檛 involve not having the right outfit (known in my circles as a 鈥渇ashion crisis鈥�) or feeling anti-social because of being in pain. I feel that if I go I will be selling out my wheelchair using brothers and sisters and I鈥檒l basically suck as an ally.

Here鈥檚 the thing: the venue is not wheelchair accessible. I have pain and can鈥檛 walk far, but I can do stairs and tonight there will be quite a few of them. When I found out that the venue is not accessible, I emailed the organizer and said how really pathetic it is that in 2008, queers with disabilities are still having to fight for basic access to events that are supposed to be for the whole community. For those not in the gay world, let me just tell you that for years and years we鈥檝e been very vocal about making sure that events are accessible. I first started writing letters and making calls around this issue back in 1988. I know than non-gay activists have been working very hard for many years as well, but I think we tend to expect more from gay organizations because they have been so intensely politicized. Gays and lesbians have been working on issues of 鈥渁ccess鈥� (in terms of access to human rights) for many decades now. So, for a large gay newspaper to arrange a reading series at a little caf茅 that sits atop a whole mess of stairs is just bloody wrong. Hence, my angry email.

To his credit, the organizer called me right away to talk about my email. That鈥檚 about where my praise for him ends. He said he didn鈥檛 think about making it accessible. He said it鈥檚 really hard to find a space that has everything they want and this place is licensed and has a piano. Imagine that! No crips in site, but plenty of beer and tinkling ivories. I appreciate ambiance as much or more than the next person, but where are their priorities? I told him I wasn鈥檛 sure I wanted to attend given than a friend of mine who uses a chair could not be there. His answer to that? He and the owner of the caf茅 would be willing to carry anyone up the stairs who needed it. Sigh. Can you understand the depth of my anger and disbelief? I told him that though I couldn鈥檛 speak directly for people who use wheelchairs, I could reasonably assert 鈥揼iven my years in the disability community鈥� that no wheelchair user feels that it is very dignified to be carried into an event. I think the organizer thought he was being very chivalrous. I mean, he had taken the time to call the caf茅 owner before calling me. Too bad he didn鈥檛 call a disability organization and ask about access issues and sensitivity. And then there鈥檚 the plain reality that two fellows can鈥檛 freaking carry a heavy electric chair and its occupant up some old stairs on the outside of a building. Who could even insure themselves for that? This was his solution?

Obviously, I educated the fellow and said that the next reading in the series shouldn鈥檛 be at this venue. He said they had an agreement with the caf茅. A verbal agreement as compelling perhaps as that piano?

My partner wrote to the newspaper and I will write another letter to the editor. We won鈥檛 just let this slide. But what about tonight? Do I go hear her read or do I send another note to the organizers saying that I couldn鈥檛 do it and won鈥檛 support this event? Am I being a jerk and not taking enough of a stand against ableism? Honestly, I'm really not certain. What I am certain of is that I won鈥檛 be silent. It鈥檚 2008 and, yes,we still need to raise our voices and claim our rights.

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