Ambition
I was surprised the other day when a friend of mine used one of those silly Facebook applications to describe me as ambitious. It’s one of those things that I thought been kicked out of me by my illness. Pre-M.E. I was quite a clever kid (probably a bit of an annoying know-it-all, to tell the truth). My ambitions were the usual: good GCSEs, good A-levels, good degree and a good job. I didn’t want to be a high-flyer. All I wanted was a nice job that used my talents to their full potential. Although I guess that could quite easily be interpreted as ambition!
Anyhow, funnily enough things didn’t go to plan. Now aged 23 I have the grand total of 3 GCSEs and 1 A-level, each of them hard-earned but also more valuable to me than they would be to most other people. So what of my ambitions? Well these days they are rather small. Not small to me, but small to the outside world. The bottom line is that all I want to do is be able to support myself and live independently; to have an office job where there is little pressure but a great feeling of achievement. I suppose it’s why I get in such a stew about benefits forms and medical examinations. They question my desire to work, when there is almost nothing in the world that I want more than the ability to do so. I thrive on feeling useful and languish otherwise.
Lately I’ve embarked on this writing malarkey, although that’s more out of necessity than ambition! Essentially it’s just a job that I can do from home. Although whether it will ever become a paying job is another matter!
So are ambitions generally tempered by disability? In my case I’d be tempted to say yes, but I’ve no doubt that there are many people who are more ambitious because of their disabilities. Or perhaps our ambitions change but not the enthusiasm in which we pursue them? Any thoughts Ouchers?
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I certainly agree with the concept that my ambitions are tempered by my disability. I have a relatively mild form of Cerebral Palsy that affects my right side only (having said that many everyday things such as tying shoelaces remains a difficulty)
However, I find in practice that is not my ambitions that suffer, but more the number of ambitions I can realistically achieve, and how I go about reaching them. Although again, If you really try, anything (within physical limitations) is possible.
For example, at the age of 14 (I'm the ripe old age of 26 now) I have wanted to learn to play the guitar. At 16 I started, and now, although I'm not as good as I would like to be, I play quite well.
I would love to be better at the piano too, but that IS out of my reach.
2 years ago I moved out of the family home, and live a mostly independent life. I drive, work and cook etc.
With the right support, I think that all of us can achieve some semblance of satisfaction in our lives.
Just don't let the nay sayers put you down!
wellll yes i agree on that just u , yopu can't help your self if you have the disabititly just happens well im 21 and i got 8gcses but not good gradesnm i did 2 a-levels n failed them both, now in college doing graphic design on National Diploma, and i'v got a disabilty my self which is deafness and yes we all find it hard aws we all get older, just gotta be prepered of what going to happen.
i agree disability can affect our ability to live out our ambitions.
however i also think our dreams and ambitions are also impeded by other people trying to protect us.
my doctors told me not to go to univeristy. that it would be far too stressful, too much work etc and would only exasberate my illness.
being as stubborn as i am and wanting to prove the world wrong yet again, i trotted off to uni.
yes it was tough and i had to work twice as hard as others but i graduated with a 1st. now im gonna really prove my worth and go on to do an MA in disability studies.
i have had to give up on other dreams such as having children and living independantly but by eck am i gonna push myself as far as i can go
I too have found so stressfull with a disability and i would lie awake not being able to sleep for the discomfort. I am not one to talk about these things but my friend told me that a good night's sleep is the best thing for the days ahead.
I have travelled all over the world alone and written a book about it called "Travels in a Blue Chair".
If you have a positive attitude, you can do it all!!
While I agree with Walt's sentiment, a positive attitude is not always enough.
My ambition when leaving School was to be a car mechanic. My careers advisor told me not to be silly as I could not use my right arm and I'd therefore be a liability (an exemplary sentence in the dis-empowering stakes). At 16 I didn't know any better and acceded to that 'professional' advice, my ambition quashed, I went on to become a pen-pusher.
Water under the bridge as I'm an old git now, but yes, my ambition was certainly tempered by my impairment!
Gary.
Undoubtedly, yes. Particularly with depression, as I can easily get into a pattern of negative thinking that any ambitions can seem futile. But there is always hope. Hope, small progressive steps in the right direction and positive thinking is the key and you may surprise yourself with how far you can go!
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