91Èȱ¬

I may have come across as a little "ranty" yesterday for which I apologise.
Basil Long, Nottingham

I just scored a big fat zero on the outfits quiz. Does that make me a slob, out of step or uniquely stylish? No, don't tell me! I'll get my kaftan.
Graham, Hayle, Cornwall

I just scored seven out of seven on the quiz about famous costumes, a subject about which I know absolutely nothing. I have no idea of the significance of this fact, but I am going to tell anyone who will listen about it.
Angus Gafraidh, London

"Colin Farrell plays Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 2012 remake of Total Recall"
It's not strictly true, but it's what we're all thinking.
Sarah , Basel, Switzerland

Paper Monitor, were there no headlines along the lines of "Tweddle medals?" Have you looked on the back pages?
Alan, Stockport

For a moment, I thought Madonna was trying to release a new album.
Tom Hartland, Loughborough

Random stat "41 per cent more crisps being secretly eaten by men compared to a year ago". If it is a secret, how do we know what happened? How many of us have come across male secret-crisp-eaters and reported them? (to whom, exactly?) I think this statistic is completely random.
Alex, who does not eat crisps in secret. Or maybe does: it's a secret.

When did we suddenly become so familiar with Olympic athletes? Rebecca Adlington has become Becky, Victoria Pendleton has become Vicky. Is this the Sebastian "Seb" Coe effect?
Ed, Wakefield

Two days with no Letters. Is it the gold postboxes popping up everywhere that are frightening people?
Malcolm, Wrexham

Monitor note: Apologies for interruptions to the service caused by production errors. Enjoy today's bumper crop.

Surely everyone knows that blue tongues on Olympic athletes mean they're competing under the influence of Getafix's performance-enhancing magic potion?
HTFB, South London (for the 2024 Olympics)

• Bookmark with:
• |
• |
• - What's this?