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And I suppose you think I'll just melt.

Mirren, Mirren, on the wall ...

Remember what Mr Miyagi said, dear.

Madame Tussauds produced two dummies of Helen Mirren - one of what she looks like on waking up, the other after two hours in a beauty salon

Menage a Tussaud

How Taylor Hackford became stuck on Helen Mirren

She doesn't hold a candle to you darling.

Mind the tap

Tussauds never throw out old waxworks of Helen Mirren - they just recycle them as The Queen

I prefer this one it doesn't answer back.

Of the three waxworks of Miss Mirren, Tussauds decided to go with the one on the left

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However, the waxwork of Prince Philip (centre) was not so good

She just gets on my wick.

Kiss her again and this is the number of pounds you'll have left after the divorce.

And I prefer this wax treatment to a Brasilian any day of the week.

This ones from silent witness

Does she come with a DCI outfit, too?

Helen Mirren's doppelgänger was less than impressed with Kris Kristofferson's.

Two Helen and back

The last time Taylor tried this he was arrested for embarrassing a member of the Royal Family in public

Mad Dame Tussauds

Taylor often got his lips burnt like that

Right! I've got the handcuffs out of my purse.

Taylor whispers in her ear "my darling havent they made you look old"

Kiss and yell

Sterotyped

Taylor Hackford exchanged his wife for a newer model.

Helen: "now don't think that we'll be forming any sort of coalition"

Stereotyped

Hot wax of course, my dear.

Just need to take off a few errant hairs on the lip. Shouldn't be but a moment.

"It's not very lifelike," said Taylor. "The real one never allows me to do this."

Fleetwood Mac reunion ends in tears.

Oy you are suppossed to be coalitioning with me.

Helen was furious - she was almost at melting-point

Waxing and reigning

That's always the problem with TV these days, too many repeats.

Taylor liked reading the news, and always insisted on his Daily Mirren

I can't tell which one is real!

Taylor: "Sorry honey - but she'll be the ideal leading lady in my next biopic, The Amanda Holden Story."

Don't you know who we are...

Objects in the Mirren appear closer than they actually are

Helen: We are not amused.

Into oblivion as he waxed lyrical

Too right, it's the Royal We

ER, just a minute...

Helen Mirren was not impressed when her husband traded her in for a newer model.

Taylor says he prefers Helen in a non-speaking role

If Helen had had a truncheon, Taylor really would have kissed the whacks

Sealed with a kiss

Actually, Helen, it was just your top lip that needing waxing.

Taylor was just about to have the first facial Brazilian

Standing between the two Mirrens like that, Taylor was reflected into infinity

It's just that they've filled in the cracks on this one.

It was at that point that Taylor decided to inject Helen with concrete, and walk off with the wax model

Damn Helen Mirren

The roots of all evil were suddenly not an issue.

Who needs anti wrinkle cream, a wipe over with a hot cloth and you are fine.

I'll be Dame'd, it does look like you.

As a furious Helen attacked, and Taylor reeled back with concussion, he realised there really is nutting like a Dame

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For the last time, it's depilatory not dilatory.

The new waxwork of Taylor Hackford was very realistic agreed the two Helens as they walked home

Taylor decided to try out his latest jokes on her.

For the first time in over a hundred years, the Madame Tussauds waxwork actually looks more lifelike than the original

And I do NOT want to be stood next to Aishwarya Rai.

I think you need your ears syringed pet.

Just waxing my mustache, dear.

Yes, it is back to all Teeth 'n' Smiles.

"Earwax removal enters new era."

It's amazing how attractive Helen Mirren looks, considering she was made out of a melted-down Gordon Brown

Theater buffs try and work out how it's done as Helen Mirren proves that she is the best actress in the world by playing twins

A Mirren image.

Taylor spent many happy years pretending to have fallen for the twins' "pretending to be each other" game.

Helen Mirren is the first to try out the newly developed time machine at the science museum

Bee my baby

And to think i was just saying when they made you they broke the mould.

Should have gone to Specsavers!

No need to get angry dear, here, have your dummy back.

She couldn't hold a candle to you dear.

I'm wax lyrical about it

You say she can cook and clean - I ll take 2

Candle in the wind up

Yes, this face looks familiar.

The Real Helen: "Still holding a candle dear?

Taylor: "No, she gets on my wick !"

"They even got your Golden Globes in, honey!"

Even Her Majesty needed an almost identical sidekick to run Britain these days.

Candle schtick

Double breasted suit(or)

"Total waste of Clubcard vouchers this has turned out to be."

Helen Mirren shows that she likes a practical joke after putting super glue on the cheek

Nun of your bee's wax, actually.

The art of phwoar

A bit of wax and polish was all you needed

Chic to cheek

She's Behind You!

Just the wax, ma'am.

No David, that isn't how to thank Her Majesty when she asks you to form the next government

Well that's Miss January and Miss February sorted, now where's the other 10?