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Martial? One thought this class was for learning marital arts.

Come the revolution, I suggest you adopt this pose.

Actually, one already is an Air Chief Martial

If I'm a little teapot, shouldn't the spout be facing downwards?

Now smile and repeat this simple sentence, "I am not having a stroke."

What do you mean, cover the head if it's raining?
I don't think I'm ever going to be reigning.

Prince Charles suddenly realises he's joined a Prince Charles look-alike contest

Now you put your left arm in, left arm out, in, out.....

I'm a little teapot. No wait!

"Put your hands in the air, shake your derierre..."

Frighten the enemy by making it look as if we've big ears? Are you mocking me?

Here's the church and here's the steeple...

At least I don't have to wear a name-tag

One does not touch one's toes

And this is the position to adopt to deal with Flying Ninjas.

If you're happy and you know it raise your hands...

Is this where you attack me with a banana?

Simon says raise your hands above your head...

Prince William is called to the day centre as, once again, his father regresses into his Bluebottle routine

Is this where one pumps up the volume?

You're out! ... I did not say "Simon says"

It's no good. Camilla would never fall for that.

Prince Charles stars in this year's Windsor Pantomime as Chicken Licken : "The sky is falling, the sky is falling ..."

And I suppose we are doing wax on and wax off next?

Because Camilla said to sweep the leg, that's why.

Ah yes, I remember the first Full Monty film now.

Suddenly, with a twang that reverberated around the room, Prince Charles' corset finally snapped under the strain

Youtube servers untroubled as Prince Charles finally jumps the "Single Ladies" bandwagon.

I demand to speak to Mr Miyagi straight away.

Prince Charles is taught how to bow for when he finally meets Richard Branson

Prince Charles had actually asked to see the film 'Juno,' but had a bad cold

No, that's Kung Pao, a staple of Szechuan cuisine, useful if you're having a take away but completely useless when faced with a vicious attacker.

'You've Got The Love' was one of the Prince's favourite songs.

The new Las Ketchup lineup was not quite as popular as that of the Sugababes.

The Queen's disproportionate response to Charles' joke about handing over the throne had everyone frightened, as a hostage situation seemed imminent. Who knew she kept a knife hidden in that handbag?

Prince Charles is checked by bouncers at Peter Stringfellow's Club, as they never allow sweaty people in

Prince Charles is taught the steps for his appearance in the new Susan Boyle video

But I have bodyguards, you see.

"Da roof, da roof, da roof is on fire, we don't need no water..."

"Then lift the crown off your head and put it back before mummy notices."

Duchy Originals diversify into the deodorant market - underarm charm for royalty a speciality

And at no time will my jacket be unbuttoned.

After his first success, Prince Charles is asked to perform a dance routine in "Full Monty II"

And now you'll have the undivided attention of the Jolly Green Giant.

I think one will stick with the Hokey Cokey instead!

"Can you feel it now; it's called a glass ceiling."

Now, Mrs. Wilberforce said the assailant came at her with his arms raised over his head, so if all of you in the identity parade could please lift your arms ...

"The roof, the roof, the rooof is on fire!"

I don't think I should be in this identity parade at all. Now, if one of you constables could just phone my Mum - her number's Windsor ...

Camilla darling, does one look a proper Charlie doing this?

Yes, but she would have to be much taller for this to work.

What sort of martial art is it where the first rule is "Surrender"?

Oh yes, one remembers these beachball poses from Dad's old copies of "Health and Efficiency"

Karate CHOP!

"All together...'Prince Charming, Prince Charming, ridicule is nothing to be scared of'..."

Assertiveness Class
鈥淗ands up, if you think the promotion is overdue.鈥�

VIP airline passengers are shown how to stand in the scanner.

Look, if we're all supposed to be trees, can I have a little chat with some of you?

Prince's aide caught nicking books.

"I see...one RESISTS the Crown when it is placed on one's head, eh?"

I bet I can make your hands turn over without touching them.
Now put them out in front of you...
No, the other way.

That's the last time Charles and his friends would buy the cheaper fast-drying underarm deodorant

One's 'Village People' do 'YMCA'.

Look, I say, would one of you security people please help me get this coat hanger out of the back of one's jacket?

"Oh my this gentleman appears to be wearing one of those tracked suits, put your hands just in case he gets a bit frisky"

Prince Charles is the first to master the advanced surrendering course.

"Put your hands in the air if you just dont care!"

Yes, this will definitely make my speech on the environment a bit more interesting.

But what if they have a flag?

We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should

Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince Of Buckingham-air.

One does the hokey-cokey and one turns about...

And this is how one says good morning to a Bonsai.

*squeaks* Please don't kill me... I'll give you Wales!

Now when you enter the booth raise your arms above your head like that and the spray will produce an even tan.

"I say, aren't these viagra's supposed to make something else go up?"

"That's lovely...Geraldine is doing a bird, Rodney is being a splendid tree and...er...well, Your Royal Highness is being a super...elk?"

One puts one's right arm in, one's right arm out...

"I say, I'm stuck in this invisible box."

Starch and wool suits don't mix

Prince Charles attends an advanced class in how to make that raspberry noise with your armpit

I always thought One had to be Mexocan to 'wave'....

Prince and chums pretend they're riding Nemesis.

Actually, one thought aikido was flower-arranging

Spelling correction.....

I always thought One had to be Mexican to 'wave'.....

Alternatively, to gain their trust, you could try repeating "Booyakasha", "Big up Yaself", "I is from Lower Slough".

Charles was confused. Normally, this was a stance one NEVER adopted in the face of an enemy.

"Dear diary...one is getting the hang of this Bingo game thingy..."

But are you sure Lady Gaga will want to frisk me?

The Karate Kid of Wales.

How the Prince's Truss began

Are the naked scanners strictly necessary? I've only come to open an art gallery.

Being hung up like this does wonders for bringing them round to your point of view.

Doris was making excellent progress in the Diana Dors role, but this 'Prince Charming' had had enough...

"And if I do this 20 times a day while reciting 'I will be king one day' then Mummy will definitely abdicate in my favour?"

The Royal Institute of British Architects is shown, quite graphically, why doric columns are preferable to steel and glass.

"So the phrase the kids use is 'Woop woop' you say? Most interesting."

"Everybody freeze! this is a robbery!"

"Ten out to ten, Your Royal Highness. Hangers-on, work a bit harder on the surrender..."

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