Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's a magical word in the world of Fleet Street. Exclusive.
And like all much cherished words and phrases - like "I love you" for instance - perhaps it's not surprising that people occasionally use it when it's not true.
The Daily Mirror's use of the word today is dripping with chutzpah.
The paper leads with the news that a Victoria Beckham lookalike is being hunted by police in the Madeleine McCann inquiry.
Now despite the Mirror using an exclusive badge, everybody, and Paper Monitor means everybody, has this story, with the picture of the "lookalike".
So what bit is actually exclusive? Perhaps it is the words "Have you got her? Have you got the child?" But no, the Sun also has this. Mysterious.
The Sun is booze-obsessed today. On page 15 there's a full account of the £120,000 allegedly spent on booze by Chelsea players at the party of a player, Salomon Kalou, who is teetotal.
On page 27 there are allegations, denied by the 91Èȱ¬, that documentary makers bought free drinks for members of the public.
So far so abstemious.
But you only have to turn one page for the headline: "DRINK RED FOR FUN IN BED, GIRLS".
"Women who drink red wine have better sex lives, researchers claimed yesterday."
Paper Monitor is confused.