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What phrase would never be uttered by a poet laureate?

How would you describe Dan Brown's novel "The Da Vinci Code"?

What should you use to protect yourself from a Poison'd Sword?

What can't you use to cure hiccups?

Beverage Holder Quarterly this week announced that what innovation in drinking would be unveiled at Cup-O-Mania 2009?

How could it be that the entire congregation get the flu but not the priest?

What was the intermediate stage between the traditional cup fighters, 'single bladed tumbler' and the currently in design 'omnipotent muti-faceted grail'?

How did the present Pope cut his teeth as a young cleric?

What is the only suitable drinking vessel to avoid contracting swine fever?

what was recently revealed to be used in the crusades to convert heathens, muslims, and anybody with bad teeth?

A goblet that swings both ways?

How could it be that the entire congregation got the flu but not the priest?

Meeting Boysie from Only Fools and Horses and finding he has a rapier-like wit?

How did Judas Iscariot describe Mary Magdalen?

A mixed malapropism?

Who will be the next Poet Laureate?

If you have a base of radius Zcm and vertical radius of curvature of Dcm , with a semi-cylindrical stem produced by the rotation of the function f(x)=1/nX^n + X^t = t (where n and t are constants) around the x-axis, placed central on the base, and a hollow object of thickness Hcm, formed by the rotation around the x-axis of the positive values of the function klogex between 0 and t, (where k is a constant), and a quadratic function super-imposed on the edge of the logarithmic function for the whole rotation, what shape do you have?

Mrs. Malaprop's Sword of Damocles?

In what kind of vessel would you mix a metaphor?

Jesus, not wearing his glasses, drank from what dinner?

Addition; the quadratic function exists values of X between positive and negative 0.5. All units are in centimetres.

What was the original title for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?

Paul Gascoigne's ex-drinking cup??

What was Harry Potter's fourth adventure before her literary agent changed it?

Sorry - please ignore my number 24

How the poet laureate Job Is being described on the Press.

after losing two votes in the commons, what should gordon brown fall on?

How does Alan Shearer view his new job as Newcastle manager? (Or indeed how does any footballer view any challenge?)

How would you describe being invited to vote with the Prime Minister to decrease your expenses ? Hmm.. Decisions, decisions..

What did the UK hand back to the US in Iraq this week?

What do nuns use to measure their breast size?

What did Jonathan Aitken wish he had said, prior to his conviction?

What was the artwork that didn't make the Turner Prize shortlist?

"accede delible dough " is an anagram of what completely unknown phrase

How did George Bush describe the legacy he left behind for Barack Obama?

What would you drink from when eating double egg and chips with a two pronged fork

Sword and saucery?

What is the new weapon of choice for the Popes Swiss guards?

What do you call a drinking trough to which both swine and avian species have access to?

What phrase will Carol Ann Duffy be trying to rhyme after a challenge from her predecessor?

What is the ideal weapon to fend off a mugger in church?

What is George Bush's latest verbal goof?

What do hypocritical knights look forward to at the end of a long, hard day?

Poet Laureate Application Form.

Q8: Complete the following verse:
My dearest friend Alice
Shows almost no malice
But likes to drink wine
from a ............

What instrument gives the the most perfect round cookies, other than a cookie cutter, when used?

Being elected the next Prime Minister will be like drinking from a......?

What was the Vatican's response to the news that Tony Blair had converted to Catholicism?

What is Peter Mandleson's favourite wineglass?

What line was scrapped, only to be replaced with "Alice, who the f*&% is Alice"?

err dock me points for predictability... but was it something about a Cameroonian election prospects.... sounds like a Boris-ism?

What was the working title for "Quantum of Solace"?

Holy grail for sharp cocktails of mixed metaphors?

Choosing between weekly and every lunchtime was likened to what?

Has the brew that is true?

What did Andrew Motion liken the job of Poet Laureat to be?

The pellet with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle is the brew that is true, what's in the palace ?

How did one magazine refer to the job of Poet Laureate?

Speed communion?

How did Boris Johnson describe his first year as London Mayor?

(I'm going to get hammered for predictability)

What is being used to deter alcoholic priests from drinking?

What do you call a cup that swings both ways?

Gordon Brown is so two faced, what does he need to drink from?

Your Holiness, what's it like to be a twin?

Name something you never knew you needed until Lakeland Plastics sent you their catalogue?

How do you view your mother in law driving over a cliff in your new Jaguar?

Drinketh from this cup and thou shalt be the richest man in all Christendom, but thou shalt also be married to Susan Boyle?

Alice in Switzerland?

Isn't that a tube?

In addition to the news that the Whitehall cellar is stocked with £800k of wine and spirits, it has also been brought to light that the government has invested in several 'double-edged chalices' for the (many) two faced members of the government requiring more than the normal one edge to drink from.

One can understand the outrage of Liberal Democrat Mr.Foster, as he apparently has no expensive wines to his name, and has had to make do with a cheap lager all his life....

Ant " what does DEC stand for? "

Delivered in poetic style by Andrew Motion

Winnie the Pooh in bed with a cold and wondering if he should call his best friend ?

Welsh singer Duffy accepting the post of Poet Laureate?

What is the name given to a drinking goblet or 'chalice' that (strangely) has two distinct sides, essentially forming a 'double edge'?

What should Bovril be served in to prevent swine flu?

Well Father O'Keefe, how do you feel about becoming a parent at 60?

Harry Potter and the DOUBLE-EDGED CHALICE

Having a job and appearing on University Chalice?

What tool would you need to win the apprentice?

A certain South London football team insists on being known by which rather posh rhyming slang?

In just a minute, talk about a Double Edged Chalice...

There are many types of Chalice - single, ditto edged, round, oval, ovaltine, coffee, double edged chalice - these are, ummmm *BUZZ*

What was the murder weapon in Agatha Christie's Murder At The Vicarage?

What's harder to swallow than an evolving feast?

Many a slip 'twixt cup and lip - and it slips most with what?

So Mr Beckham, In 5 words describe your move to the LA Galaxy.

What is the Archbishop of Canterbury's weapon of choice when playing World of Warcraft?

What does every self respecting alcoholic priest possess?

Peter Andre and Jordan announce that she is pregnant, with a baby girl on the way.

Can you guess what they've decided to call her?

Steven Spielberg's next film will be called "Indiana Jones And The..." what?

What is quite obviously the opposite of a poisoned sword?

What's the recommended daily dose of communion wine?

What item is for fighting wine tasters only?

What will be Robert Langdon's signature gadget in the 'Da Vinci Code' sequel?

What is an apt description of the Holy Grail?

What phrase has been used to describe the post of 'Poet Laureate'?

how honesty is described in society being as it is poisoned?

what name hase been given to the two-dimensional pest which has been ravaging tes plants in Assam?

What's the latest must-have item for sale on the Supping Channel?

Lucrezia Borgia made poisoned drinks look safe by drinking from what first?

When Father Jack celebrated Mass...