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Things have been slow on PC Gone Mad Watch lately, but our recent office party provided an excruciating example when, having procured the services of a smoker to light each of the lovely candles on our table, the waiting staff came round putting them out saying they weren't allowed to be lit. Merry Christmas.
Luke L, London, UK

What happened to bird flu? Last year, we all lived in immense fear of the imminent arrival and tracked its daily path across Europe. The number of experts talking about the imminent pandemic was astounding and every dead bird was front page news. Now the only information we have is whether we will be allowed to feed pigeons in Trafalgar Square or not.
Hugh, London

I have enjoyed Heston Blumenthal's search for perfection, but the outtakes could surely make up a show in themselves. Chocolate aerated with a Dyson. A whole turkey lowered into a deep fryer. A household fan set up underneath a BBQ. A cake iced with the aid of a paint gun. Can anyone think of a show similarly blessed with opportunities for mishap?
Patsy, Sheffield

tells us tales of men buying unsuitable women’s underwear as presents. Any chance you could do one on women buying unsuitable knitwear for men?
Alan Addison, Glasgow, UK

I think the Monitor has been at the sherry ahead of the Christmas party. The Punorama results are fully [sic] of typos and shoddy application of bold items. Will MM be able to perform better tomorrow with a hangover?
Judy, Leeds, UK
MM note: Hic!

T Shandy asked if there is a word for suddenly getting a joke or reference which at the time you hadn't recognised (Tuesday letters) - how about Tardism after the greatest time-machine of all.
Mal Walker, Adelaide, Australia

Wouldn't it come under the general catch-all of delayed gratification?
Sarah, Edinburgh

When I watched the likes of Allo Allo when I was younger the double (or should that be single) entrendres used to go over my head. Now they don't.
Ian, Cambridge

The man who laughs last is the one who has thought of the dirty meaning. The term is therefore pornosophy.
S Pickwick, Corsham

The Regent Street lights Gordon (Tuesday letters) complains about promote a slug, amongst other things. However, as slugs can't stand , we're at long last . Still, what can you expect of an organisation which hasn't updated its website in nearly a year?
Jel, Swansea

Is Sarah (Tuesday's letters) being for sending a Punorama entry using the letters form?
Rich, Bristol, UK

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