Punorama results
In the latest attack on traditional Christmas spirit, health obsessives are coming down hard on a certain Mr Claus, who can normally spotted around this time of year in a tatty red suit and ill-fitting cotton wool beard.
Yes, Santa is the latest target of the obese police. A survey of shopping centre Santas has revealed an average waist size of 47 inches - seven inches more than is considered safe.
Health experts say a waist circumference of more than 40ins for men (35ins for women) is a key indicator of abdominal obesity.
More than one of you dug into the carolling song sheets for inspiration - some with rather more panache than others (although perhaps they'd been rather distracted by the same story turning up in the ...)
A weigh-in a manger came from Bruce, Santa Claus is becoming rotund from Lee Pike, and I'm Dreaming of a Wide Christmas from Kate Lilley (just press Submit the once, please people).
A particularly classy effort came from - who else - Stig, with Hark the herald angels.. Ping!
We also liked Merry XL-Mass (from Gordon, Mike Monk and Laurence), Christmas girth (Candace) and Fatter Christmas (deep breath... Muhammad Isa, Graz, Kevin, Gaynor, Nigel Macarthur, Gareth Jones, Nick Jones, Speed, David Regan, Rob Falconer and Tim Knott).
Then there was Give obese a chance (OG Nash in Qatar), Pies on girth, goodwill to all men (Helene Parry), Santa's on his way (Tim Knott) and Santa's Flaws (Kev Guthrie).
But because you've all been so good all year, here's a few more! Season's eatings (Bev Mackenzie), Love handles everything (Murray) and variations on the theme of Santa's Poor Elf (Gary Moore), Santa has an elf problem (Valérie Falconer), A strain on the 'elf service (Kip) and Santa's Elf Scare (Anna Lilley).
Thanks to all who entered. Because the Monitor is off to the Christmas party shortly, the losing entries (because that is what they are) will not be published. There is a nose to be powdered and a party shirt to don.
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