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Yes, I am the one who selects the new contender from the registered entries and then gets two lucky callers primed and ready for the airwaves.

So, you think you might be able to take on the challenge and work out what catchphrase Mr Fish is doing?

Well, here is a little information for you about the selection process, the 'Do's' that will help your on-air experience be more pleasureable, and more importantly, the please, please 'best-if-you-don'ts' which may end up with you falling out with Roy, and nobody wants that now...

For each day's contestant selection, I take all the registration emails that have come through and put this number in a 'randomiser' to get a smaller selection. Once we've got our main caller I ring them back, have a good chinwag to find out some gems of information and check they are happy to come on the show in the morning. On the day I give them a call at 9am to make sure they haven't chickened out at the last minute and done a runner! (thankfully, this is a rareity!)

SO - here are a few Dos and Don'ts from a Unit Assistant's perspective for a smooth and maybe even a pleasant on-air experience with the foursome that is Chris, Roy, Mr Chips and, of course, your opponent.

DO:

Answer your phone on the day pleeeease - the reason for this is self-explanatory... plus it makes my life a lot easier!
Have a nice clear signal - we don't want you dropping off air!
Have your phone charged - see above! (pretty rubbish if you're on a winning streak.. Chris may decide to not let you back on!)
Make sure your horn actually works - we love a good horn.
Be nice and chatty - you may have heard the consequences of a rather dull caller!
Give yourself a proper cheesy gameshow introduction! e.g. Hi Chris, I'm Pippa and I'm from BAASSSSINNNGGGSTTTOOOKKKEEEE!!! (well that's my home town at least - and I'm proud!)
Be GAME! (you know what I mean)

DON'T:

Be anywhere too noisy - its unsettling to hear too much rowdiness, plus we all have mini heart-attacks at the thought of someone poking their head through an open window to shout some obscenity...
Ah, which reminds me on the obscenity front - please don't swear! It's a family show don't you know.
Be anywhere too isolated - especially if people locally find out where you're parked.
Be quiet or shy or retiring - you may well lose!
Get on the wrong side of Roy - now this may prove a little tricky if you are a boy, a student, too chirpy, or not chirpy enough... which doesn't leave that much...

Hmmm - and I think that might just be about it! (little sighs of relief all round!)

I'm sure there's more but I'll leave it for now as I have a feeling that if there is such a thing as clogging a blog because of a wittering author, then I fear I'm about to be the first!

So, after all that - you think you're up for it?

Go to Radio 1 Online and go to The Chris Moyles Show pages. Follow the Carpark Catchphase link and, hey presto, there's Roy welcoming you with open arms to register!

Who know, maybe I'll be giving you a call very soon! (you lucky thing)

Pippa xxx