Arrived in York, yesterday afternoon ahead of this morning's outside broadcast.
I was a little late due to big freeze train issues but to be honest I was glad of the extra relaxing time. My life is so busy nowadays, an enforced delay is a welcome excuse to do nothing for a bit, far better than doing a bit for nothing. I was cold though, as the carriage I had chosen to sit in was bereft of any heating. Consequently the first thing I did upon arrival was order a piping hot coffee from one of those US franchises. You know, the type that uses up far too much of everything to produce far too little of anything.
Armed now with a plastic cup hand warmer, I waited for my arranged lift to my accommodation. However, this was not just any lift. It was a lift from the Archbishop of York's driver. Except it wasn't because as I have already mentioned my train was late and so he was once again busy driving his boss. Instead, a very nice lady called Karen was charged with the task of picking up this dodgy DJ.
I thought I was off to a hotel but no, the team were being honoured with a bed each at John Sentamu's official residence, Bishopthorpe Palace. "No need for the trunks or gym kit," I thought to myself. My room was lovely, not at all what I thought it might be but much more of what it should be. Modest, welcoming but most unexpected of all - someone else's ! I thought it was a permanent guest room but again, no. I ventured into the wardrobe and there was a life in clothes.
Whose life I have no idea but whoever you are, thank you for the loan of your room. But seriously, next time . . .
Hang on a minute, there probably won't be a next time. Let's just leave it at thanks. And I'm so glad I saw the clothes in the wardrobe because I was just about to use your toothbrush.
CLP
2010
X.
Welcome to my new website that doesn't exist (yet) - highspeedwhy.com. It doesn't exist at the moment but it could do soon enough. There is considerable consternation, you see, to the new proposed high speed rail link between London and Birmingham. Several hundred/thousand people say the route it is planned to take, will mean them having to give up their homes and move elsewhere. Well hold on a cotton pickin' minute.
Why do we need to get between London and Birmingham any quicker than we already can, regardless of where the new tracks happened to be laid ? It's not like it's ten hours away for heaven's sake, in fact it's barely two. And what are the super fast commuters going to do with the extra few minutes they have gained either side? Spend even longer queuing up for a donut or a Cornish pasty?
When overnight journeys are turned into day trips, or full on jet-lag is transformed into being a bit bleary eyed for a couple of hours, then sure there's an argument for change, but environmentally and economically, this catastrophic chronological short cut is a complete ass.
CLP
2010
X.
Don't be short for Christmas, not as in - do be tall for Christmas - that would be height-ist or low-ist depending on how you look at it. As in don't get caught short for anything you might need: a light ale for a dear old uncle perhaps, a bottle of stout for your world weary grandma, or an emergency bottle of Bristol Cream should the local clergy pay you a spontaneous festive visit.
Deadlines are there for a reason, and we are fast approaching this year's Christmas shopping lockdown. Mrs E has seen to it that we currently have more fruit than Spain in our cupboards, plus the entire dairy output of North Devon in our fridge. In a nutshell, I think we're going to be ok. The ironic thing is that out of the thirty people who are due to come over for Christmas Day, there is a very real possibility that two thirds of them might not make it. In which case Berkshire will have acquired its very own food mountain for the planes in and out of Heathrow to bump in to.
But oh I forgot, they don't fly so much from there anymore do they ?
CLP
2010
X.
Morning : brilliant
Afternoon : war zone (well you know what I mean)
Pressie shopping in central London this morning, no one to be seen. Absolute bliss. Bound to be the same tomorrow. Make the most of it, I was done in under an hour.
Food shopping in Windsor this afternoon however - forget it !
"Has it been like this all day ?" I asked a nice kid who was re loading the sprout shelves.
"It's only gonna get worse," he sighed.
Trolley rage was waiting around the corner of every aisle. Exasperation ruled supreme. By the time I finally reached the checkout I was physically shaking with grocery-a-phobia.
And I forgot the dill.
D'oh !
CLP
2010
X.
They're back, the bags of crisps that are slightly bigger every day that make you much bigger over the years.
Grab bag 282 calories, normal bag 182 calories. A Grab bag a day Monday to Friday, opposed to a normal bag works out at 20,000 calories a year more.
I have tried to leave what I approximate to be 80 calories-worth of crisps in the bag to balance things out, I did it an hour ago again but then I did what I also always do afterwards, which was go back and polish them off.
If I keep doing this for the next thirty years I will have consumed 600,000 extra calories than with the normal bags.
Grab Bags suck but they don't half taste good.
CLP
2010
X.
One Show and Brekkie Show duty combined mean I end up staying in London overnight for a couple of days from time to time, and because I have a rare morning off, I have treated myself to some hotel breakfast room indulgence. It'll be the full English for me of course with a cappuccino of all things to accompany. Not my usual but there you are.
Now here's the thing. A lady, a German lady (at least she looked German - it was the helmet that swung it for me) finishes her brekkie and then returns to the buffet to stick three muffins in her knapsack for later. So - is that allowed, or is it technically theft? And karma wise, perhaps maybe one muffin for later, but three! I wonder if she also capitalises on the free bog roll in public loo's by slipping a few sheets down her tunic every time she takes a comfort break.
I ask you, what's with these people? (Not the Germans by the way, I've just heard her speak and she sound like she might be Icelandic)
CLP
2010
X.
On the tee today Cameron and Liam, 10 and 13 respectively, take on Lee and Chris, 37 and 44. The boys take on the men at Sunningdale Golf Club today at eleven o'clock after their uncle bid £90k to Children In Need for the pleasure.
They can't wait, we can't wait and Pudsey seems to have had a word with the weather, so all things considered it should be a great day.
Can you imagine how young Cameron and Liam are feeling right now. What a blast ???
CLP
2010
X.
Oh what a tale of 21st century zeitgeisty-ness. Has there ever been anything like it in our lifetime that polarises the mob to such an extent? A third of us love it (see the 20 mill viewing fig for confirmation), a third of us abhor it (I'm presuming), and a third of us don't give a monkey's whistle either way.
The thing that always confounds me about all of this is, if our biggest telly show pulls in twenty million pairs of square eyes for its final episode, that still means forty million of us are doing something else. The question is: what - exactly?
I drove home from my Mum's house last night at around six o'clock, and there wasn't a soul out. Not only that, but it was quite evident as we passed the various villages and towns on the way back that most families were huddled around something glowing different colours in the corner of their front room, and unless everyone has secretly been keeping alien eggs and are currently waiting for them to hatch, I can only presume this was a television.
And it wasn't even time for X Factor!
I just think a lot more people watch telly than we are being told. I am not for one moment suggesting that viewing figures are being cynically distorted, I simply think they are wrong - always have done. I have absolutely no concrete evidence whatsoever to substantiate this theory but I still believe I am right.
How about that for a Monday?
CLP
2010
X
You know, some people you meet and you think: "How did they get so wise?"
Mr Peter Kay is such a person. We actually talked for as long after the show as we did during. He just has it completely sussed.
His whole work ethic is based around being as funny/entertaining as he can be, to as many people as possible - but only if he can do it all in the shortest possible time, so he doesn't have to be away from his family for a second longer than he needs to.
It's a simple but highly effective philosophy that keeps him totally balanced.
On top of that, he could not have been nicer to all the people he met at Radio 2 today. What a fine example of a human being. A pleasure to have spent time with him.
Have a great weekend and God willing, see you on the radio on Monday.
CLP
2010
X.
Peter Kay is co-hosting the show tomorrow. Have I mentioned it? Only perhaps ten times this morning, that's all.
Well I can't help it you see, I'm excited. Proper excited. I find him so compelling and intriguing. I wonder what makes him tick and makes someone so so funny.
I'll be fascinated to spend a couple of hours in his company. Why don't you do the same ? And bonus Rick Astley - what's not to like ???
CLP
2010
X.
P.S. you can watch the whole Peter Kay and Rick Astley extravaganza on our website tomorrow from 0800. We've set up a bank of cameras in the studio just for your viewing pleasure....
Who cares where it is, we're doing it with Anneka Rice!
Gotta go - tara.
CLP
2010
X.
Cold arrived Saturday morning - unannounced. Cheeky blighter. It bedded in and took up residence in my head the whole of Sunday. No take away curry that evening - that is serious my friends.
Yesterday the cold acts like its had enough of me, and is moving out of town. Ha ha! I think - just a 24 hour job then. And then whaddya know, it's back bigger and snottier than ever, and refusing to budge.
My nostrils feel like blocked drainpipes and my eyes look like they've been scrubbed with a raw onion. As for my nose, how come something as soft as tissue can have the abrasive effect of a sanding machine ?
Day Nurse!!!
See you tomorrow and for heaven sakes - load yourself up with any Pharmaceutical shield that will stop you getting rained on by this particular germ cloud. S'not worth it.
CLP
2010
X.
So the scoop is that we are all bunged up today. Like - everyone. My Indian guru, in the back of the car as I type, says turmeric can come to the rescue yet again. It fixed my finger, now it can fix all of our colds.
Here's his recipe:
Teaspoon of turmeric
Couple of pinches of water
A mug of water
Mix it all up
30 second in the microwave
And then drink as much of it as you can.
Try at your own risk. I'm going to.
Clp
2010
X.
As James May said in the paper on Saturday: you are allowed to have a cold if you are a man and it doesn't have to be man flu. Of course just by saying this, a guy runs the risk of falling into the category entitled " he doth protesteth too much, therefore it must be." Well no, not really, in fact no not at all - as the mountain of snot reinforced tissues next to my bed might serve to prove. Those - along with the weirdly satisfying rock hard, dark green balls of phlegm that I kept coughing up every five minutes or so.
Having said that, there is something far more friendly about a cold than flu. Nothing hurts for example. I just feel bunged up and a bit weak, no more. Whereas sometimes flu can make you feel like you actually might prefer to be dead.
As illnesses go, you can do a lot worse than catch a decent cold. More of a way for your body to confine you to forty eight hours of recharging than anything else. I may be a little groggy come Monday morning, but ultimately I think this cold is doing me a secret favour.
CLP
2010
X.
P.S. "In sickness and in health. . ." A boiled egg, toastie soldiers and a cup of tea on a padded tray !
Tash away for eight nights, the boiler up the spout for seven of 'em, and Noah a star throughout.
We return home en mass today. Tash gets there early and I will tip up - after a bit of Kylie and kids on The One Show tonight on the telly.
The radio show Christmas diary is full to bursting from Monday onwards, so it's lots of sofa and snowball time and not too much else over the weekend for us.
Stay warm you lot, we want all your ears back and able to listen Monday morning - 6.30am sharp.
Clp
2010
X.
That's what it felt like today. We had to keep warming you up with anything we had to say and play. Radio has to be warm at the best of times but when the nation is undergoing what it is at the moment - especially so.
As I tap today's blog into my mobile phone, I am on the move once again to make a short film. After fencing with Jonny yesterday, today we test sledges for our One Show toy special tomorrow night.
Kids, Kylie and Santa's sack. Exactly how did I get this wonderful job again - will someone remind me !
CLP
2010
X.
Never too early to start Christmas as long as it says December on the calendar, and so today is the day for the Evans's - a slow build commencing as of midnight last night.
It's also never too late to try something new - which is exactly what Jonny and I have just done. Fencing - of all things - and as I sit here in the car on the way home, I have the scars and swipes to prove it. Fencing outfits are not entirely epee proof! The victor will be revealed on Friday morning, Jonny has to win to stay in the second series. (He won the first series)
CLP
2010
X.
