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Some critics have suggested Rafa Benitez's latest dig at Sir Alex Ferguson, when claiming the Manchester United manager was 'scared' of Liverpool, might have contributed to the Reds' downfall in the first leg - and Fergie was certainly loving every minute of it.

"The interesting thing as far as Rafa is concerned is that he's got a European tie and he's talking about Alex Ferguson. Fantastic - I didn't know I was that important," the good knight chuckled.

When asked whether he thought he had got under Benitez's skin, Ferguson added; "I have no more comment to make" - but the broad grin that accompanied his silence spoke a thousand words.

That smile became as wide as the Mersey Tunnel following Cristiano Ronaldo's stunning 40-yarder at Porto which set up a semi-final with Arsenal.

The Gunners enjoyed an emphatic 3-0 win over Villareal - set on their way by an exquisite chip from Theo Walcott.

The over-excited TV commentator immediately drooled: "They don't do 0-0s, Arsenal" - apart from those four successive goalless league draws against West Ham, Tottenham, Sunderland and Fulham stretching all the way back to...February.

All of which meant for the second year running there are three English clubs out of four in the Champions League semi-finals, with the small matter of Barcelona making up the numbers.

But never mind the Fab Four, what about Flav's door, which continues to revolve faster than a hamster that's just spotted Freddie Starr approaching its cage.

Paulo Sousa was the latest victim of supremo Briatore at my club QPR. He seems intent on making Alan Sugar's catchphrase his own. As discarded striker Dexter Blackstock mused: "In three years with Rangers I think Paulo was the seventh man in charge - or was it the eighth?" And there was me thinking The Comedy Club was still situated in the West End.

Of course we've got no chance of going up this season (or next, in all probability) but Burnley are right in there with a shout and the manager's reputation is spreading like wildfire - all the way to Wrestlemania 25 in fact, where a fan's 'Owen Coyle is God' banner in the crowd was repeatedly shown live on US TV.

After spotting it on the Mirror website, Paul Cavanagh wrote in to say: "Thanks! MY SIGN!! never ever thought this would get on any website other than a Burnley fansite, and was quite amazed to see Owen himself mention it in his programmes notes." .

Meanwhile, Clarets striker Robbie Blake was named the Championship's Player of the Month - great recognition for the man with the best spoonerism name in football, nearly up there with Neil Warnock's anagram, in fact.

Staying with words and Arsenal keeper Lukasz Fabianski recalled his boyhood heroes ahead of the Villarreal game. "I had a few keepers to look up to when I was growing up," the Pole said. "Some were from the old days, like Jan Tomaszewski. He's still a big name." He certainly is.

Goal celebration of the week involved Millwall's Jason Price, who marked his strike against Peterborough by donning a false nose he'd pulled out of his sock (like you do). The striker explained: "It was for my mate in Manchester who's got a big nose." Hopefully Kiko Macheda saw the funny side.

Further down the table, Tranmere's Bas Savage celebrated his goal against Hereford with his trademark Michael Jackson moonwalk. And if any of you have missed this truly thrilling sight, check out a remix of Bas's .

On a sad note, spare a thought for poor old Luton Town fans, who saw the Hatters finally succumb to their inevitable fate, through no fault of their own. Luton chairman Nick Owen announced they would bounce back - although let's hope Anne Diamond's former co-star carries more clout than the day a few years back when he was refused entry by Kenilworth Road security guards, because there was no room, to the club's....Nick Owen Lounge.

In the Premier League, Newcastle grabbed a valuable point at Stoke and warmed up for Sunday's clash at Spurs by - approximately the gate at Blackpool next season should things go T.U.

And finally (courtesy of my wonderful girlfriend), the non-footballer's footballer quote of the week goes to Anthea Turner's other half on Hell's Kitchen, who said to the fearsome Marco Pierre White: "I don't mind him losing his temper with Grant Bovey."

Form an orderly queue, Marco.