Flo Rida ft. Nelly Furtado - 'Jump'
Gentle reader, I come bringing words of advice. Bitter experience has taught me a valuable lesson, and it is one that I wish to share with you, right here and now.
Do NOT settle down to listen to this song on a weekday morning, at a time when it still feels like the most precious element in the known universe is moresleepium, and then crank it through your headphones so that the bass makes your teeth rattle. If there is such a thing as a perfect way to make yourself hate a song before the chorus has even started, that's probably it.
( Is it really a good idea to jump around so much when there's rodents on the floor?)
The signs were right there from the start: A verse in, and the wittering is tiresome. Two verses in and you have to ask yourself if Flo has the first idea what he is talking about. By the third verse, you realise he doesn't, and you certainly don't. The pencil in your hot hands suddenly snaps.
I should add, this isn't a political thing about the way this song has been commissioned for the film G-Force. It's fine to do movie songs, it's fine to extend your brand by working with an entertainment superbrand in order to create a new hyper-ooper-wooper-superbrand. Whatever you need to do to put diamond-encrusted bread on your pandaskin dining table, who are we to judge?
It's just that there's not really much in the way of a song here. It's relatively uptempo hip hop - something I normally like - with nonsense verses - again, never a problem usually - and a frosty maiden singing a harmonious chorus. And yet there's so little to it, you could blow it out of the room with a sharp puff. You wouldn't even need to open the window.
Now, I am fully prepared to concede this is First Thing In The Morning talking. Literally EVERYTHING has become massively irritating, from the monotonous, endlessly repetitive backing to the fact that Nelly Furtado, an amazing bonkers pop star in her own right, has been reduced to glassy chorus duties. And is it just me, or does that chorus come around once or twice too often?
In the context of the film, this could be amazing. In the context of a wild club night, this could be the peak musical moment, and leave everything else - from 'Bonkers' to 'Dancing Queen' - standing in the shadows, talking to the dust.
There again, it could just be a silly movie tie-in song. Ask me again when it's lunchtime.
Download: Out now
CD Released: August 24th
91Èȱ¬ Music page
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comment number 1.
At 21st Aug 2009, keithfusco wrote:Nice review.
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Comment number 2.
At 21st Aug 2009, keithfusco wrote:Personally, I think Flo topped himself at Low. Everything after that just won't compare and will always be looked down upon, IMO.
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Comment number 3.
At 21st Aug 2009, spirit wrote:I hope powers of perception are working as I think Nosh will soon be coming on and telling us she loves this song and gives it 4 stars . . . .
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Comment number 4.
At 21st Aug 2009, Daniel wrote:I think the chorus is really this songs only saving grace, the rest is all just a little bit too hip hop for me.
Right Round is probably my favourite Flo Rida song - just the correct amount of hip hop!
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Comment number 5.
At 22nd Aug 2009, spirit wrote:Come now Fraser , this is a pop/dance track .
You can't review it first thing in the morning , led in bed covered in your Britney Spears duvet , with your headphones on !
Dance songs always need to be heard in a glorious nightclub through a fantastic sound system .
I am sure if the chartblog massive got you out to a kicking , happening club , and the dj played this over his state of the art system , and there were gorgeous lovelies gyrating their dancing skills in your direction , you would be giving this song an extra star . lol
Now where are your dancing shoes ?
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Comment number 6.
At 23rd Aug 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:No, no, I disagree Spirit.
This is definitely not my favourite song to dance to at a club. In fact if I were Fraser, I would give this one less star.
Flo Rida has to be one of the most appaling artits out there at the moment! He wouldn't be half as his successful as he is if it weren't for the endless slew of guest stars he uses. I mean all he has to do is get some high profile guest star to sing a catchy chorus...and what do you know...another hit for Flo Rida!
Let's go through Flo Rida's single discography:
1. Low featuring T-Pain
2. Elevator featuring Timbaland
3. In The Ayer featuring will.i.am
4. Right Round featuring Ke$ha
5. Sugar featuring Wynter
6. Jump featuring Nelly Furtado
Now if Flo was to do a song by himself, how successful would it be?
It wouldn't.
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Comment number 7.
At 23rd Aug 2009, sportydanovs2 wrote:lovin this weeks numba 1 ! ! ! ! ! !
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Comment number 8.
At 23rd Aug 2009, spirit wrote:Ha , the point I was making was that you really need to review dance tracks , over a large system in a nightclub setting , to get their full effect.
But you go for it Random , looks like the writers block is cured !
WOO HOO !
Welcome back .
And exclusively to back up your point even more , Alexandra Burke's debut single BAD BOYS out OCT 12TH , features a special guest star.... Flo Rida !
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Comment number 9.
At 23rd Aug 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why must Flo Rida torture me???!!!
Ooooh her single's out on October 12th. Good, good! I'm looking forward to it!
Thankfully her single 'Bad Boys' probably won't be...er...well... 'BAD' as such because Flo Rida doesn't make a bad guest star. I really love his featured appearance on Lady GaGa's 'Starstruck'.
And yes, Spirit, I know his music sounds good coming from a great sound system in a nightclub but that's it!
Flo is just too commercial and soulless for me! He is a complete fad artist!!!
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Comment number 10.
At 23rd Aug 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Ooooh and Spirit if your looking forward to some new reviews, drop by Unreality Shout and see what I have in store for my readers!
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Comment number 11.
At 23rd Aug 2009, spirit wrote:UNREALITY SHOUT , here I come !!!!
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Comment number 12.
At 25th Aug 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Oh, I heard Alexandra Burke's new tune!
Well, I'm just thankful that she didn't release a big boring ballad like every other X-Facto winnner!
The production to the new song is very nowadays but Alexandra's deep soulful voice sounds very like Whitney Houston or Tina Turner.
Its a nice mix of retro and modern.
Flo's contribution to the song is as phoned in as every other American pop song but I guess he adds an extra dimension to the song!
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Comment number 13.
At 25th Aug 2009, spirit wrote:Yeah , Alexandra's song BAD BOYS will be a TOP 3 hit for sure .
That chorus is too catchy !
All that talk about bad boys catching her eye ! Naughty !
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Comment number 14.
At 25th Aug 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Okay, maybe I'm just slow on the uptake but back in the day, under the review, ChartBlog used to give little snippets of other reviews from across the web and links to those reviews!
WHERE ARE THEY GONE??!!
How else would my reviews be exposed to ChartBlog readers!
Shame, I think they should be brought back! I don't think they're in competition with ChartBlog reviews as ChartBlog reviews are unique!
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Comment number 15.
At 28th Aug 2009, spirit wrote:I know what you mean , my favourite one was UNREALITY SHOUT !
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Comment number 16.
At 28th Aug 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Thanks Spirit! :D
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