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This is close to being exactly that, in that it's upbeat, does not try to be anthemic or Coldplay-ish (we've got OneRepublic for that now, thanks fellas), and despite Adam Levine's squeaky little voice, seems to be almost entirely made out of solid backbone and beefy muscle.

And yet...

It's clear that everyone involved in this song, from the opening hi-hats to the end of the Apprentice-alike video, has tried as hard as they can to make it as brilliant a thing as it's possible to be. The band look committed and driven, ready to FUNK this MUTHA to within an inch of its LIFE, MAN. Adam suits his suit, Rihanna's got a weird lopsided quiff thing going on, and her lips are the colour of a bleeding pillarbox.

But something's missing. A song, perhaps? Some properly memorable music which sticks in the mind? A hook? A melody which starts in one place, takes you, the listener, on a little journey, and ends up somewhere else, rather than a series of fragments of tune which don't really work when strung out end-to-end across the song? Any of these things, done well, would be welcome. Sadly they are not quite here.

And it really does come to something where the lead singer of a famous band is outperformed in both the charisma AND vocal warmth stakes by Rihanna, a lady whose appeal rests in the fact that her voice is glassy and cold, and her face does not move, no matter what emotion she is singing about.

So, five points for effort, two taken off for poor attainment. See me after class, Levine...

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 30th

(Fraser McAlpine)

PS: DVD EXTRA ALERT!

Here's a backstage look at the making of the video. Exciting, eh?