Top 5 - Here Be Monsters!
We are none of us perfect - no, Mr Cent, not even YOU - but when you cast your eyes over some of the people whose job it is to entertain us with their musical talents, and you have a good hard think about what makes for a charismatic face, well, it's fair to say that some people are more imperfect than others. Not in an unsexy way, in case anyone thinks this just picking on the weird-looking kids. It's more that these are people who are broadly considered to be charismatic pop star types, even though they have a few facial oddities here and there.
Or, to put it another way...if THIS lot can make it, looking like THAT, there's hope for all of us...
No. 5: Marilyn Manson
The author Will Self once referred to his own face as looking like "a bag of genitals". And if he hadn't, the phrase would surely be useful in describing this fella, with the addition of "and flour". But, if you're assuming certain of the lumps and bumps in Mazza's fizzog correspond to certain of the lumps and bumps you might find in the genital region (male), which area of his face would be, y'know, the, erm, main attraction?
Well, that's quite a schozz he's got on him, innit? And do you remember years ago Marilyn was rumoured to have tricked Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins into snorting some sea monkeys - those dessicated crustaceans you could only buy out of the back of comics? Well, let's just say if the trick had been played the other way around, sea monkeys would be a protected species by now.
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No. 4: Tom DeLonge
One of life's better ironies is that the more time Tom DeLonge spends telling everyone he's some kind of musical genius, a creative tour-de-force with a massive pulsating rock brain, full of all the ideas in the world...the more his forehead resembles an actual pulsating brain which is attempting to escape its skull fortress and make a break for it.
Either that or it looks like someone's knocked Tom's wig backwards and he hasn't noticed. Anyway, it must be reassuring for him to know that, should Angels & Airwaves fail to take over the world and his Blink money suddenly vanish, he could hire his upper face out as a cinema screen.
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No. 3: Chester Bennington
There's a saying among musicians that someone who has a knack for mixing sounds together in a innovative way has 'good ears'. Well, Linkin Park have their moments with the sounds and the mixing, but more importantly, their frontman actually really HAS good ears, the way Dumbo had good ears. And you can tell he knows this too, otherwise he wouldn't draw attention to them with those TOTALHARDMAN earrings he always wears.
Hell, even his rockstar shades (or those black-framed glasses he wears) seem to act as arrows pointing out to the side of his head. It's as if he's constantly sending out the message that he's got REALLY GOOD EARS, OK? And that this means we should trust his musical vision...even when our own ears tell us other things. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'hard of hearing', dunnit?
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No. 2: Tom McFly
Regular ChartBlog readers will be familiar with the concept of the Heirarchy Of Attractiveness within bands. This theory states that in any band, the most attractive member of the band has to be the singer, second-most-hot is the lead guitarist/songwriter, third is the bass-player, and the drummer is often the token munter.
McFly do not play by these rules, it's safe to say. Given that Tom Fletcher writes the lion's share of the band's hits, and is more often than not the lead singer, he should really be hotter than Harry or Dougie in a massively demonstrable way. This is not the case. BUT he does have a really good chin, the kind of chin you could use as a storage area for brilliant song ideas, perhaps. So it does make a kind of sense after all. Don't get me started on Danny though...
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No. 1: Pete Wentz
Speaking of bands whose members are all in the wrong order... Now, we're mostly all agreed that Pete Wentz is OMG SO BUFF!!?!! right? That's what I thought. So, I mean no disrespect when I say this, but my GOD that man has got some teeth on him, hasn't he? I mean there's the sort of teeth you can happily use to chew up any amount of normal food, and then there's Pete Wentz's teeth, which could be put into action in a junk yard, crushing cars down to tiny cubes of trashed metal.
And is it just me, or did that video Fall Out Boy did with the apes taking over their video shoot just reinforce the idea that Pete's enormo-gnashers are kind of...chimpy?
It IS just me, OK then...
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Comments
hehe so very funny :D
the images i now have of wentzy in a scarp metal yard chewing up cars is crazy!
Oh please, let's get you started on Danny Jones, McFly.
I think you may have set the McFly street team on you again.
Tom Delonge is God an your going to hell.
[Well, possibly. But at least I can spell his former band's name. - Fraser]
Oi! I have 'those TOTALHARDMAN earrings' I'll have you know. They're not earrings either, they are tunnels, tubes or plugs, depending on whats in them. . . and they are cool!
And I totally agree with you regarding the FOB video for 'thnks fr th mmrs', it just accentuates Pete's chimp like features. . . I'm sorry, I'm just jealous. You're a rockstar who happens to be dating Ashlee Simpson. . . it's just not fair!
[I'm not dating Ashl - Oh I see... - Fraser]
p.s. To Bink182fan: 'Bink 182' are over and there never coming back. . . deal with it.
Haha apologies that should have read: 'I'm sorry Pete, I'm just jealous'. . . although it's interesting how you didn't deny being a rock star? Hmm.
Lame
whaaat?
Tom from McFly is on there?
he is soooo HOT
you have no clue what you are talking about there
i agree with all the others
I normally think tom delonge is quite hot but in that picture he looks abnormally strange!! :O
A great piece of reading - thanks! :]
& i do very much agree with the Delonge part, he's turned into such an a**.
I know it's all down to opinion, but in the flesh Tom Fletcher is pretty damn good looking. Pictures do him no justice.
And if Danny Jones had been put in this, I would wonder what on earth was going on with the world.
I have to say I was surprised to see three of the five in here to be honest.
actually Danny writes most of the songs and he is the lead singer as well as Ton
Did any of these people audition for a modelling job? No.
Tom Delonge? The man IS a genius. Oversized forehead? I honestly don't see it.
Marilyn Manson- f* legend. Besides, no one said he's Johnny Depp.
Pete's teeth are in my opinion one of his nicer features. I also find his arrogance sexy.
Tom Fletcher constantly puts himself down. He thinks he has "a hideous chin". The lad doesn't really need this does he?
I've never noticed Chester's ears, being too occupied admiring his talent. But I have two words: Will Smith. I wouldn't say no.
[Oh calm down. At what point did anyone say these men are ugly? I said the have faces which don't conform to standard ideas about attractiveness and yet people think they are very sexy indeed. In some cultures this is known as a 'compliment'. Mind you, if you really can't see Tom DeLonge's forehead, you may need to consider glasses. - Fraser]
Oh dude you just opened the flood gates for a bashing didn't ya? xD The Mcfly Maniacs (I'm not one btw) will eat you for this LOL!
Pretty funny though xD And indeed a nice underlining message that no one is perfect and you don't need to be perfect to make it big :-D
[Leo, I salute you! - Fraser]
That's well funny. The chin is why we love Tom. His nickname IS chin. Or Chinny. Tee hee hee that's funny.
That's well funny. The chin is why we love Tom. His nickname IS chin. Or Chinny. Tee hee hee that's funny.
50 Cent's hideous.
"Oh calm down"? You say that like I was in a huff lmao.
*giggle, giggle* This is very funny!
I did always wonder about Tom not being as hot as the other members in McFly. Good looking, yes, but definitely not as hot as say Harry...
But the songs he writes are great, so I can forgive the less hotness.
You know who should be on here? Amy Winehouse. Why do people find her sexy? Care to explain anyone?
This made me laugh.
Pete Wentz is ugly. Personality and all.
Heidi from the Sugabes has a big chin and she's gorgeous.
Ooooh Laa Laa -- Tom -- [[MccFly]]
Woooooh .. Heeee's Soo Fiine
Daiim .. Woot ..
Heey Everyone ,,
Im Lean Kean Chatterbox Machine ..
Seriously Wanna Chaat?! ..
Comment Me .. And I Will Get Baak
Loves -&&- Huggs
No1 Fan Of .. Christina ,,, Aguilera
I HATE Pete Wentz. He is just so...so....oh, I duuno. I watched Fall Out Boys top 50 rock party anthems or something similar a while ago and I think he only smiled once or twice. The rest of the time he just looked so bloody miserable. Cheer up for gods sake pete!
xx
lmao XD thats so funny about mcfly.
im a fan but i still find it absolutely hilarious!
xx