Shayne Ward - 'Breathless'
BEFORE LISTENING: I am fully aware that venturing an opinion which deviates in any way from the idea that Shayne Ward is very very good at music indeed is akin to smearing your head with Kit-E-Kat and then sticking it in a lion's mouth. Plus it doesn't serve any useful purpose. Shayne fans aren't going to be won over by snarky critics, and snarky critics tend to form opinions in clumps anyway, so even if I hate the song and, say, agrees with me, all it does is add fuel to the idea that we're just a great big jealous club of ugly geeks who wish we had a fraction of Shayne's raw sexual magnetism.
Well, I can't speak for anyone else (Chartrigger seems to be quite the hottie-magnet though), but what I do know is this: It's my turn to review the new Shayne Ward single. I am prepared for him to totally win me over, and I will be the first to admit it if the song is amazing. I bear Shayne Ward no ill will whatsoever, that was Steve Brookstein. I am ready. Let's DO this thing...
AFTER LISTENING (MANY TIMES): Ow! My ears! My brain! My STANDARDS!
What the hell is this? It's a joke, right? Some songwriter had a bet with another songwriter that they could fill a Shayne Ward song with the cheesiest, least romantic, most laminated sentimentality (with the emphasis on 'sent' and 'mental') the world has ever seen and it would still be a hit? It's got to be something like that. How else can you explain lines like these:
"And if our love was a story book , we would meet on the very first page."
Yeah, and it would read "One day Shayne met a lovely lady and they fell in love and it was lovely. The End.". Hardly Romeo and Juliet, is it?
Then there's the all time worst:
"If we had babies they would have your eyes. I would fall deeper watching you give life."
GAH! There is just NO NEED for this kind of thought in modern popular song. I mean I can't really justify WHY this should be the case, because this line wasn't written with me in mind, but it's just ICKY. Tell you what, fellas, you try turning up in the delivery room, while your ladyfriend is in the middle of a 17-hour labour and tell her you've fallen deeper in love, just watching her do it...and she'll pull your face clean off. Quite right too.
AND there's a bit about being in a fairy tale and sailing away to get married, on a yacht. A YACHT? That's not massively fairy tale, is it? A galleon, yes. A ship, most definitely, but a YACHT? Which fairy story is this, exactly? Goldilocks and The Three Stockbrokers? Little Red Riding Ferrari? Spenderella?
None of which is Shayne's fault, obviously. I mean he's the poor fella who has to try and sell all this cack as actual emotion. And to be fair, he does a reasonable job at it. Not enough to make me ever want to hear it again, but I do get why people are buying it.
And it does prove that if he has enough raw sexual magnetism to make sentient human beings enjoy this rubbish, that's the kind of gift we should ALL be jealous of, not just us bitter critics.
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 19th
(Fraser McAlpine)
PS: Apparently it's Chart Rigger, not Chartrigger, which is what I originally put. Can't think where I got the idea to run the two words together like that....
Comments
And I thought Darius was cheesy.......
*cough* I like it *cough*
. . . I can't believe I just said that. I do have one problem with it though, the live* version he did on The X-Factor a couple of weeks back was much better as it was stripped down to just a piano, without any synth.
*I'm almost certain he was miming.
well.. that certainly crushed my opinion of him..
Shayne Ward's single "Breathless" was No.6
in yesterday's chart. He has had massive hype and promotion recently eg. on Loose Women and other day time television programmes plus singing on XFactor recently plus Louis Walsh saying he's going to sell millions at every opportunity - so why wasn't he No.1? Yes he is good looking, but sadly his charisma and songs are not up to it. The No.2 record had no hype or television promotion - say no more.
Well he only made No, 6 with his single "Breathless" after all the massive hype and promotion and No.2 in the charts had little or no promotion (no need for further comment). I do not understand the charts as Richard Fleeshman is so talented - write his own music, plays several instruments as well as having a very good voice (also good looking) did not make the top 40 - sorry but it should be talent making the charts not massive hype!
Anyone else sick to death of hearing bleeding love by leona lewis? CAN'T BELIVE ITS STILL NUMBER ONE ITS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE 'most over played song ever' I quite liked it a first but absolutely hate it now what a shame!
I COULD LISTEN TO SHAYNE WARD ALL DAY LONG AND NEVER GET BORED OF LISTENING TO HIS VOICE
ur fit
come on the lyrics are beautiful. and gemma i totally agree with you, i never get bored listening to his voice for the whole day or even more. but leona, shes great but please simon cowell, stop emphasize on her high pitch.
shane i think ur new song is soo good and when i hear it i cry coz it is a good song and i love it i would of loved to do that video with you anyways good song bbz and i am a big fan of urs :):)
I love shayne ward and i think this song is great! i cant stop listening to it! hehe xxx
Having read the above comments bt Fraser i can understand what the writer is saying. HOWEVER! sometimes words within a piece of music are merely there to captivate.
I believe this record is a total piece of genuine musical achievement for such a young (In the business) talent.
Sometimes a record can trigger a collection of emotions within. I am a 42 year old ex lad about town, with many stories of tuff compramising situations. These include being in some very scary situations in Manchester, my home town...
This record could be easily stripped down and seem cheesy, but we all love music such as the late Pavaroti. Despite the lack of English lyricks most of us are captivated by music we do not understand in words alone.
Point being, this record touches the soul and the words are not relevant. Try to listen without trying, its easy to understand why this is pure music with all the soul to reach within.
I mention my past as a Manc who knows the score, because if i can be touched by this music then we all can.
Justin timberlake would not turn a head in most towns if he were not famous. But, his music is as good as most r&b vocalists.
Shane is as good as him and only requires more experience to be able to produce his own style of quality music.
DB
what are u going on about this song is amazing!!
for young people which shayne's audience is targeted at its perfect for young couples in love.
Its amazing and shayne has such a beautiful voice!
More people would agree with me than you so i think you should do more research into what other people think than what u just think.
Keep the talent coming shayne manchester is proud of you (=
WE LOVE U