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Speaking of which, if some West End theatre tycoon is reading this, and has now decided to plan a Mika musical based on the songs from 'Life In Cartoon Motion' - let's face it, it's only a matter of time before someone does - using the title 'The Musical Merits Of Mr Mika', I want a cut, or at the very least a sizeable donation to the ChartBlog Fund For Unappreciated Frosty-Popstrels (it's a sort of rainy-day nest-egg kind of thing, where we raise money to buy pretty things for the likes of Rachel Stevens, Siobhan Donaghy, Jamelia and Alesha Dixon as some tiny recompense for the unfair withdrawal of wider public support for their pop careers, just as they were releasing their best songs). OK?

So, back to taste. If music were food, and Mika was mushrooms, or tomatoes, or broccolli, or any one of the many controversial veg that people just plain don't enjoy the taste of, no-one, apart from your mum (at mealtimes) would have a problem with you if you simply explained that you didn't wish to consume a meal of which he is a major part. You don't wish to be impolite, or pick him out and leave him on the side of your plate, but you can't actually bear the flavour, and would rather not have to put yourself through the trauma.

Somehow, Mika being NOT a vegatable (no jokes, please, that's MY job), this rule of reasonable withdrawal doesn't seem to apply when listening to his records. Which doesn't seem fair. So, with this in mind, can I quickly say that Mika's music is not a flavour I tend to enjoy all that much, but I will try, in the interests of not spoiling the cook's hard work, to pretend this is a dish I've never tried before.

Mmmm! Fragrant!

You have to wonder if this soul-ish ballad was one of the songs which Meek had ready when he met Simon Cowell all those years ago, and if it was, you also have to wonder why old nipple-waist didn't grab it and give it straight to Westlife. It's got the right kind of mix of bounce and gravitas, and features a gospel choir more prominently than the main vocals at times, both trademarks of Shane, Mark and co.

What it lacks is a dramatic key-change, the ABANDON STOOL! moment, but that's no bad thing, and would've been easily rectified if Simon had decided to take it at the time. And Westlife's loss could be the West End's gain, as our cigar-puffing mogul already has a ready-made grand finale ready and waiting. An unhappy ending called 'Happy Ending', how brilliantly arch is that?

Centre spot on our curly hero, devastated by the loss of his fat girlfriend, who wouldn't give in and just love, love him. He tried to be like Grace Kelly, y'know...there won't be a dry eye in the house!

I won't like it, obv, but that's taste for you, there's no accounting for it, did I mention that?

Download: Out now
CD Released: October 14th

(Fraser McAlpine)