91Èȱ¬

« Previous | Main | Next »

How To Destroy...Britney Spears

Post categories:

Fraser McAlpine | 17:18 UK time, Wednesday, 10 October 2007

How To Destroy Britney Spears

NOTE: Haha! Didn't expect THAT didja? Not only did we NOT do the gag about how we don't need to know how to destroy Britney because she's doing a perfectly good job on her own (frankly, as a joke, it's mean, and therefore beneath us all), but look! This is like tabloid SQUARED. A union between Britney Spears and Pete Doherty would make the editors of the Sun, the Mirror, Heat! and the NME all explode with excitement (no bad thing, obv), and there's no question that a kiss from his lips would probably be (excusing the pun) toxic.

Hey, if we're lucky, she might be toxic too. OR it could be like when you get to negative things together and it makes a positive (like two wrongs actually making a right, and just as likely). They could become librarians together or something. So long as they're both happy, right?

Comments

  1. At 07:26 PM on 10 Oct 2007, Vincent wrote:

    will everyone please leave britney alone. She is a young girl who has made afew bad choices in her life. In these days - who hasnt made some bad choices. Just because Britney is in the public eye this whole thing has been blown out of all proportion. Come on people, give britney a break. By the way, the new single (gimme more) rocks.

    [Totally agree, Vincent. In fact I said as much a few months back. Here... - Fraser]

  2. At 05:15 AM on 11 Oct 2007, wrote:

    Heh! Someone needs to look into buying a sense of humor. :p

    Personally, I think Pete and Britney look splendid together.

  3. At 09:10 AM on 11 Oct 2007, emmmmma wrote:

    and leave pete alone! he only drinks tea now and he's a musical genius!

    [Is he? He should put some of that on his records. Shall I tell him? - Fraser]

  4. At 12:32 PM on 11 Oct 2007, matthew wrote:

    brush her wig off

  5. At 06:36 PM on 11 Oct 2007, Kimberley wrote:

    Hahaha. We could only hope something like this would happen. I think it'd be great to see all the tabloid people's brains exploding.

    But knowing celebs, they'd go the total opposite direction and be even more of a train wreck than they already are. However, 1 crazy celeb + 1 crazy celeb does not equal 2 crazy celebs.

    The equation would be more like 1CC + 1CC= CC squared, which is mass chaos, as we all know.

    Still, I'd love to see it. All the ickyness you could ever want in one relationship.

  6. At 08:39 PM on 11 Oct 2007, wrote:

    correct me if im wrong, i was never that talented at maths, but wouldnt 1CC + 1CC = 2CC? it would be 1CC x 1CC = CC2* (*the stupid superscripted 2 didnt copy and paste from word).. so, wouldnt that come about if these two had a child? i wonder what it would look like.. and if britney would be allowed in a room alone with it.. or pete for that matter.. OR if its actually any of our business and shouldnt we lay off a bit?

    aha! i am right, its handy knowing a-level maths peoples

  7. At 03:49 PM on 12 Oct 2007, Leanne wrote:

    Oh thats a bit harsh! As if she doesn't have enough problems without putting Pete Doherty into the mix. Even Britney doesn't deserve that kind of punishment!

  8. At 08:14 PM on 12 Oct 2007, emmmmma wrote:

    did you just say pete's not talented?!? look at britney!!! he has more talent in his little finger than britney has! but that doesn't seem to matter. they've both behaved stupidly but its ok to slag pete and not britney? give 'em both a break, at least he's trying to sort himself, unlike britters.

    [I didn't say it was OK to slag Pete but not Britney, I didn't say I was OK to slag either of them, seeing as they're real human beings with real feelings and stuff. All I did was query your use of the word 'genius'. This little cartoon thing here is more a joke at the expense of the tabloids, wouldn't you say? - Fraser]

  9. At 03:37 PM on 16 Oct 2007, wrote:

    i think that bombarding britany spears with all the trouble with the press is bad enough but then you go and do that to her picture.
    how would you feel if somebody did that to you? i thing who ever did that to her picture should be ashamed of them selves its mean rude and is a form of bullying think about your acctions before you actually do it.

  10. At 06:31 PM on 16 Oct 2007, Jeet** wrote:

    Lighten up!! it's only a joke...

  11. At 07:59 PM on 16 Oct 2007, Kimberley wrote:

    Kerri, you are entirely correct. However, when celebrities get together, you know how they create their own world? Well, that also means they can create their own math, because in this case the chaos that could/would result would be more than just the two of them combined. Squaring it just makes it more like it would actually be in real life.

    Does that make any sense? (In my own head it does, but I might not be explaining it well.)

    Still, this picture kinda makes me cringe every time I look at it. Something about not wishing Pete on my worst enemy...it's funny anyway.

  12. At 08:49 PM on 16 Oct 2007, wrote:

    it makes sense but it doesnt make SENSE if that makes sense.. as in i see where youre coming from but it doesnt make sense in reality.. hehe am I making sense? :P

    ive just realised what an odd word sense is, you know like when you repeat a word over and over.. well now sense doesnt make sense :S

  13. At 09:08 PM on 16 Oct 2007, ~Rachel~ wrote:

    I think Kerri's about to implode (please don't!)

  14. At 10:16 PM on 16 Oct 2007, wrote:

    hehe dont worry, no imploding for me.. am bouncing around though cus SPOOKS IS SO AMAZING! im a little over excited about the return of this amazing show to our tvs :S if im going to implode its perhaps cus of that.. i dont think i should have eaten those sugary sweets..

  15. At 03:05 AM on 25 Oct 2007, wrote:

    This one I liked a lot more although in the Austin Power's Goldmember Film, Austin Powers did a great job destroying Britney Spears.

  16. At 11:41 AM on 25 Oct 2007, siobhan wrote:

    Ohh thats a shame!! She has mucked up like big time but deserves a we ebreak she needs to get hera ss back to reality and disapear for a while n then come back caus ei think she is grteat and deserves a come back!!! Simon Cowel shud take her on and she shud move to the uk get away from us tabliods!!!

  17. At 01:09 PM on 23 Feb 2008, Peter Munn wrote:

    I want to just send Britney some hope. I have experienced mental distress since 1979 and been through a couple of hospitals under sect. It does get better! If when she does get on the right road she wants to give somethig back I feel she and other high profile artists like her ( Amy winehouse) perhaps could make a real difference for the 1 in4 people in British society that have similar experiences and are treated so poorly often by those who can never really understand unless they have been there1
    Good luck best wishes and please do get intouch if you want to make a difference , Peter.

This post is closed to new comments.

91Èȱ¬ iD

91Èȱ¬ navigation

91Èȱ¬ © 2014 The 91Èȱ¬ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.