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Little Man Tate - 'European Lover'

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Fraser McAlpine | 09:28 UK time, Sunday, 19 August 2007

Little Man TateWhen Britpop was very popular, many people, myself included, acquired guitars. Mine was five quid from a junkshop, which is very indie and real of me I'm sure. Since I was about eight at the time and not all that concerned with ideas of Proper Genuine Music, the rock and roll potential of its origins was somewhat lost on me. The first time I picked it up, I strung together a series of noises that sounded not totally unlike 'Wonderwall' by Oasis. This wasn't because I am some kind of musical prodigy (because I'm definitely not,) it's just that the first time nearly anyone picks up a guitar they can produce a series of notes not totally unlike 'Wonderwall.' That's how guitars work.

Indie has been capitalising on this fact for years. Originally, the idea of the indie movement was to prove that people who weren't necessarily very highly-trained musicians could still write a song, cos sometimes songs just spring right out of you whether you've got a grade eight in piano or not. Somewhere along the way, this appears to have turned into 'nothing written by anyone who can actually play an instrument can be any good'.

Take Little Man Tate, plucked randomly from the indie pile by virtue of their releasing a single this week, who basically haven't got past that whole 'oh wow man, this thing makes noises!' stage:

There's nothing wrong with being amazed at a guitar making noises. There's nothing wrong with stupid, semi-improvised songs. There's something wrong with parading this sort of thing like it's a virtue, especially when it's joyless "wow man we are poets of modern life" rubbish like this, to create something which is basically what would happen if someone scrubbed all the emotional depth and musicianship out of the Trumpton theme and shouted over the top. Worse than that, though, it's like a sleazy chat up:

Song: Hey hey, ladies!
Ladies: Oh, hi.
Song: What's your name, baby? I'm a musician.
Ladies: Err, right.
Song: No, seriously, I really am. I'm really indie.
Ladies: Sorry, we've really got to go, we all just collectively realised we left the gas on in every home in Britain- the explosion that might occur if we don't leave doesn't bear thinking about.
Song: What? Hey! They promised me this stuff would get me laid with a supermodel!

I don't want to come over like 'all indie is necessarily bad because it's indie,' cus that's not true. However, no music is good by virtue of its genre either, and the collective indie hope that if they just aim to sound like Oasis crossed with the Arctic Monkeys, they will somehow become musical genii and change the fate of the world forever (because DUDES, they've been known to drink A WHOLE LOT and that is what actually proves your musicianship, rather than whether your song is actually any good) are just the terrible posturings of people being exploited for a quick buck by a record company.

It's market music at its highest level and I can't get anything from it other than a cringe for the band. Rubbish.

Two starsDownload: Out now
CD Released:
August 27th

(Hazel Robinson)

Comments

  1. At 11:46 AM on 20 Aug 2007, wrote:

    Wow. The start of this story is so similar sounding to the story of the first time I picked up my guitar (which was yesterday) and played it. I pkayed a couple of notes and it sounded EXACTLY like the start of wonderwall. And i'm also definitely NOT a musical genius, but I do want to learn to play the guitar. Meh.
    Rachel
    xxxxx

  2. At 11:16 PM on 23 Aug 2007, bob wrote:

    b* to you

    [That's what the lady said. She just did it in more words. - Fraser]

  3. At 03:03 PM on 24 Aug 2007, Scott wrote:

    Fraser

    Thats a long story but wheres the review of the song? Isnt that what you are suppose to do? Not just talk about when you first played guitar!

    Cheers

  4. At 03:10 PM on 24 Aug 2007, meandu229 wrote:

    ok so did you actually listen to the song cause it sounds like you just dont like indie music,, why would you review it without mentioning the name of the single except in the title.
    Muppet

  5. At 03:42 PM on 24 Aug 2007, Rob wrote:

    So basically you don't like indie music. If you review a song surely you're meant to review the song, not go on about random stuff that bears no relation to the song.
    What you've done is basically shared your aparent hate of indie music, aswell as displaying the fact you don't understand it.

    I might follow your example of reviews and review Finding Nemo, but, instead of talking about the film I'll talk about my local Fish and Chip shop.

  6. At 11:04 PM on 24 Aug 2007, Jonny wrote:

    Mate, did you learn to review songs by reading NME and following their lead? 90% of your review is completely irrelevant to the song, in fact 'til practically the last paragraph it's difficult to glean any information about the song or your opinion towards it whatsoever. Instead of a review, this contains a random story about playing the guitar, a rant about indie, some irrelevant interaction between characters, then a little bit of relevant opinion at the end. It seems that you would have drawn the same conclusion whatever the song was. Maybe try a conventional review, where you discuss a songs' merits, next time eh?!?!

    [You indie types really do love your formulas don't you? Hazel did write about the song, you have to read the review better. - Fraser]

  7. At 01:34 PM on 25 Aug 2007, Hazel R wrote:

    ...Everything below the video is directly relating to the song. The "interaction between characters" is what I can hear in the song; what am I supposed to say about it that can't be said of every other song that sounds exactly like it released in the last six months? That's why I mentioned indie as a genre, it's a cookie cutter reproduction of watered-down Libertines singles, just like tens of other bands around at the minute.

    I actually quite like indie, FYI. I just happen to think the current spate of bands that sound like Little Man Tate are rubbish.

  8. At 03:16 PM on 26 Aug 2007, wrote:

    I agree with Hazel R. There are some rather apalling indie bands around at the minute (I won't mention any names). Mind you, it's the same with every genre.
    I'm especially loving the 'oh wow man, this thing makes noise!' bit. Reminds me of my dog. He finds anything that makes a noise totally awesome, apart from our t.v. Oops, random spiel again. :( sorry everyone.
    Rachel
    xxxxx

  9. At 12:03 PM on 28 Aug 2007, Lou wrote:

    You may or may not like LMT Hazel, which is your prerogative, but I concur with many of the other comments on here that surely a review should actually mention the song being reviewed, rather than just a rant about a set of bands you don't personally like.

    I was, perhaps mistakenly, under the impression that a review should not include personal opinion and that it should be a factual discussion of the relative merits of the music.

    [A review without personal opinion? How would that work? "There is music, there is singing. There are guitars, there is more singing..." - Fraser]

  10. At 12:20 PM on 28 Aug 2007, Simon wrote:

    "...Everything below the video is directly relating to the song. The "interaction between characters" is what I can hear in the song"

    Right OK, so a song that is about a girl the lead singer likes going travelling around Europe with her Mum and boyfriend, has the same conversational context as walking up to someone you've never met before in a club and trying to chat them up because you're in a band.

    From this I can see that you obviously played lots of attention to the actual content of the song, and must congratualte you on writing one of the must appauling reviews I've ever read in my lfie (and I read NME quite a bit, so I know bad reviews)

  11. At 09:28 PM on 01 Sep 2007, joe rawson wrote:

    I hope they dont pay you to do this. Totally biased as its clear you don't like indie and you've not reviewed the song, you've just spouted out a nice little story.

  12. At 03:47 PM on 02 Sep 2007, Sally wrote:

    A comparison to the Artic Monkeys, well that’s an original concept which hasn't been done before. At least Tate don’t' just cut and paste, because this is all this article seems to be. Someone else jumping on the bandwagon just because the band isn't The Gossip or The Reverend.
    The presence and passion Tate have on stage is amazing and much more then many of the bands around at the moment, ermm bloc party anyone - what’s going on there.
    LMT have had 5 top 4 singles and a number 20 album all without the help of radio 1 or nme. Just beacasue they don't bend over whenever asked by the top dogs doesn't mean they should be berated for it.

    Oh and another thing, they are not a band out to make a quick buck for the record company. They belong to their own label, (yellow van records) and have been together for many years before they signed any contracts

  13. At 12:02 AM on 03 Sep 2007, Scott wrote:

    I thought I was reading a review of a song, not just a subjective viewpoint about a genre you don't like. Oh well, plenty more reviewers out there who do bother reviewing songs not just blather on about something irrelevant to the post.

  14. At 08:21 AM on 03 Sep 2007, Liam wrote:

    come on lets make 'European Lover' #1 and then go inyourface Frazer and let Radio1 eat there own words, Virgin radio theres a real station for good music, LMT rule

  15. At 11:17 AM on 03 Sep 2007, Hazel R wrote:

    Oh my god people.

    1) Yes I was reviewing the song:
    -It sounds like someone who can't play the guitar writing a song on guitars
    -They seem to think this makes them clever
    -It doesn't
    -It actually makes them come across a bit sleazy
    -Generic music is very boring to review
    -It does actually quite remind me of the Trumpton theme
    It is called "making it relatively interesting and fleshing it out enough to justify a post rather than a series of bulletpoints jotted on a post it note and stuck on the fridge door."
    2) Comparing anyone to NME is a bit harsh really isn't it. Call it Kerrang! or something at least.
    3) Admitedly, I was totally wrong about the major label thing; that was my fault and I should have checked my facts so sorry about that.
    4) No I am not paid to write this rubbish.

  16. At 05:55 AM on 12 Sep 2007, hol wrote:

    im glad you dont get paid, you are s***

    and in another note in reference to what you have wrote

    -It sounds like someone who can't play the guitar writing a song on guitars

    ***lets here your fantastic lyrics / songs***

    -They seem to think this makes them clever
    -It doesn't

    ***the lads arent big headed, they are down to earth, and would love to see them bring you down to size with your utter poo***

    -It actually makes them come across a bit sleazy

    ***sleazy? cos they have lyrics which relate to everyday antics/ stories to tell?

    do soaps give you a "sleazy" vibe - thought not. and they have half hour slots about this stuff***

    please dont write any more reviews of this genre. stick to what your good at....erm...

    [I only put this comment up as a stark warning to others of the dangers of petting stray dogs while on holiday. RABIES, IT'S A KILLER - Fraser]

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