91Èȱ¬

« Previous | Main | Next »

Classified Ads - 13/07/07

Post categories:

Fraser McAlpine | 16:28 UK time, Friday, 13 July 2007




-------------------
WANTED: PURPOSE
-------------------
We made poverty history.
We remembered Diana,
& we saved the ecology.
What else can our music
do now?
Contact Geldof/Gore @
Rockers Against Things

-------------------
TEAM LILY
-------------------
Meeting: This Sunday
Location: Scout Hut
Agenda: Rumble with
Teams Tweedy, Kooks, Tabloid, Winehouse...

Subs to Kate Nash
BYO lollies.



-------------------
REMEMBRANCE SERVICE
-------------------
For veterans of P Diddy's
"make some noise if you
miss Diana"
speech.

Share your pain with
fellow survivors
Uncurl those toes...
We can help you

-------------------
FOR SHARE:
-------------------
Lightweight, handheld
collapsible canopy.

Perfect for
inclement weather.
No parasol-fans please.

Ella-Ella A. A. Hay.





-------------------
NO TROUBLE AT HOME?
-------------------
Want some?
Use my not-pain-free
book of snarky one-liners.
Includes the lemon one,
the intelligence one, and
"Ur! You smell. Of poo!"

Nash-Bash productions

-------------------
SITUATION VACANT
-------------------
That's not a job offer,
by the way.

It's just where I'm
at, maaan.

Donny Tooret Truwet Swearybags



-------------------
DON'T WORRY
-------------------
If you're tall, small,
plump, skinny, pimply,
hairy, mouthy, insecure,
violently aggressive or
painfully shy,
I'm still interested.
Call C Harris

-------------------
SLANG DICTIONARY:
NEW EDITION
-------------------
We're having a bit of
trouble with this word
'emo'. No-one will tell us
what it means.
Does ANYONE know?
Call Prof. Teenspeak





-------------------
WANTED: NEW NO.1
-------------------
Will consider any
reasonable offer.

No time-wasters.
(Mika, this means you)

HURRY UP!

-------------------
BEWARE THE
WELSH VAMPIRE
-------------------
He lurks in dark alleys,
waiting to suck the blood
out of innocent indie hits.

Stop the suffering.
Ring 666 (Ask for Stan)



-------------------
STYLIST WANTED
-------------------
To provide outfit advice
to international pop star.

I need all the help I can
get, my style is ridic-dic-
dic-ulous-ulous-ulous.

Call Nelly F.

-------------------
GRAMMAR TUITION
-------------------
Extremely affordable.
Easy lessons.

Learn to talk
like the way I are!

timbaland@
ihelplearnyougood.org





-------------------
MUSICIANS WANTED
-------------------
Let's see, we need
keys, bass, axe, drums,
Oh, and can
anyone play table-tennis
to a click track?

Ring Sleek-Rique
for deets

-------------------
BIG GIRLS
-------------------
Mika wants you,
Fergie says don't cry.
It's just bullying,
is what it is.

End Pop Star pressure!
Join Weightwatchers
today!



-------------------
WANTED:
-------------------
Moody, spotty,
hormone-crazed teen.

Must come
with own luminescence
for night-time use.

A Monkeys

-------------------
LOST: CONTACT LENS
-------------------
Last seen around the main
stage at Glastonbury.

Family heirloom.
Surely someone has it?

It's all blurry now.

Comments

  1. At 05:34 PM on 13 Jul 2007, Lisa K wrote:

    Love the Arctic Monkeys one! Can you start doing these weekly please, I love them! Classified rules!

    [Well I WOULD...but they really hurt my head. - Fraser]

  2. At 08:05 AM on 14 Jul 2007, Kerri wrote:

    al gore may have dedicated his the rest of his life to raising awareness about climate change (although he sees fit to drive around in a 4x4 in his film) but since when has he been a rocker?! the new no1 thing is great (mcr - teenagers please) (oh and its terrible news, mika has also invaded aussie shores :O) and 'emo' seems to be whatever you want it to be (eyeliner, self-harm, mcr, black hair, fob, skinny jeans, side fringes, hawthorne heights, a fashion statement or something that doesnt even really exist - take your pick!)

  3. At 10:11 PM on 14 Jul 2007, tasha wrote:

    A Monkeys? I am a moody, spotty, hormone-crazed teen. and i have my own luminescence for night-time use. please marry me

This post is closed to new comments.

91Èȱ¬ iD

91Èȱ¬ navigation

91Èȱ¬ © 2014 The 91Èȱ¬ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.