Apple Bob-ing
Dance videos are amazing things, aren't they? Sexy ladies doing stuff, monkeys with human faces doing scientific experiments, weird rabbit-people doing...er...other weird rabbit-people...there's a lot to take in. And the music is often fairly easy to describe. SO, rather than another dance review which makes heavy use of the words 'dancefloor' and 'loop' and 'beats', here's a quick roundup of what is going on visually for two of the biggest dance *cough* 'choons' of the moment (made by two of the most mis-spelled choon-makers of the moment).
Step forward Mr Sincla(i)r, Mr Van Halen, the world is watching...
Armand Van Helden - 'NYC Beat'
For sheer 'huh?', Armband's effort takes all the points. Consider the massive effort that must've been involved in tracking down three photogenic (grown-up) girls who are about to have an apple party, with apple decorations, apple bobbing, apple conkers (some cheating here as one of the girls is using a baseball bat...and that helmet isn't exactly essential safety equipment), and a very strange bit where one of the girls uses that same bat to smash a toy supermarket trolley filled with - you've guessed it - apples.
And even if you can find a party like that, and the girls are willing to be filmed, there's a bit where a couple of them end up with water down their fronts during the apple-bobbing (the other one is reading a book. Fancy, eh?), and that kind of embarrassing spillage could make some party-goers a bit self-conscious and shy. Luckily our three don't seem to be at all bothered. They're far too busy having a slo-mo raveup on the sofa.
Download: Out now
CD Released: May 28th
Bob Sinclar - 'Sounds Of Freedom'
Meanwhile, over in the Caribbean, a group of schoolchildren have stolen a bus. One of them has morphed into a large bus-driver lady...but doesn't seem to be at all bothered by this traumatic turn of events. Then they go for an outing. It's very pretty in Jamaica, so at first they look out of the windows. Then they have a bit of a dance contest which scares a chicken and an old man with a straggly beard.
Then they go for a paddle in the sea. Then they go and swap some dead birds for some guitars, then pick up a hitch-hiker who has a bicycle (maybe he never learned to ride it...oh sweet irony). Then there's some Rock School-style 'jamming', and the grand finale is that they storm the stage at a massive music event. The bus driver lady changes back into a boy again, who farts as he rushes off the bus. And then one of the children (who sounds VERY English) starts showing off cos he's just learned to tell the time, and everybody loves them.
Frankly, it makes your school's last visit to a dusty museum look rubbish, but then, those magic buses aren't exactly cheap and the schools have to prioritise funding sometimes. It's either a magic bus or wages for all the teachers. Don't blame me if they make bad choices with public money.
Download: May 28th
CD Released: June 4th
Comments
Thanks Kat - no I didn't like being Rachel S, so I'm going to try being Rachel in italics now - worth a try!
Anyway...yay, an invitation to another game of Armband Van Halen - can't resist that! Come on everyone - follow me...