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SONTUM OF QUOLACE COMPETITION WINNER!
Post categories: Electric Proms,ÌýSong Wars,Ìýcompetition,Ìývideo
| 17:13 UK time, Monday, 19 October 2009
It is your lifelong dream. And this is your one and only chance. Your entire existence has been building up to this moment. Your future depends purely on this decision. If you lose, your life will become a meaningless void. Because performing The Sontum of Quolace karaoke-style at lunchtime on a Thursday in a medium-sized room at the Electric Proms is all you've ever lived for! And now... it's decision time.
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Swamped by an avalanche of entries, our panel of judge spent almost an hour closely scrutinizing all 17. Hopefuls were evaluated on their vocal quality, stage presence, wow factor, ability to give more percent than 100%, dress sense, marketability, mentile health, tabloid-scandal susceptibility, four quadrant demographic appeal, personal hygiene, basic reasoning skills, criminal history and general Big British Castle visitor-cooperativeness levels. After ten minutes of intense deliberation, then a lovely chorizo, cheese and salad roll and a quick read of the paper, it's time to change someone's life. For an hour or so. On a Thursday.
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The winner is... BEN MERCER!
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Ben Mercer has achieved that which was previously thought impossible. He makes The Sontum Of Quolace cool. This improbable, illogical but dazzling feat seems to have been achieved with some combination of superb guitar chops, arresting falsetto vocals, ingenious melody re-tooling, skinny jeans, a good haircut and a great deal of pure talent. I am truly honored that Ben has agreed to perform his wonderful rendition of the song, and thereby represent me, my song and all the employees of Cornballs Global Torpedo Systems Plc, at the Electric Proms on Thursday. Kneel before Mercer!
Comment number 1.
At 19th Oct 2009, Dr Roobles wrote:*kneels before his awesome power*
Hurray for Ben! And (a little twitter-shaped bird tells me) happy birthday for tomorrow :-)
See you Thursday! x (see what I did there? That's a Cornballs-kiss)
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Comment number 2.
At 19th Oct 2009, YourNameHere wrote:I have genuflected on a daily basis since the first day this was uploaded. I will need extra glucosamine before the week is out.
Once Ben had plopped his vid into the tube, there was nowhere else to go and I am so thrilled that Joe's little attention span was held for the duration.
There you go, Commander. You can put your feet up and relax for a couple of minutes.
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Comment number 3.
At 19th Oct 2009, YourNameHere wrote:Sorry to double blog an' all that but will I can't see anything in the schedules to indicate when we might receive a little audio nugget from Thursday's proceedings.
Is there a grown-up around who can tell us?
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Comment number 4.
At 20th Oct 2009, Whinger Assassin wrote:Good stuff, I like the melody re-jigging. I didn't think the song could be quite so frantic! I feel a little sorry for the guitar strings at the end, taking quite a pasting to produce the required crescendo of franti-citement!
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Comment number 5.
At 20th Oct 2009, Don wrote:That be mega, but where can we view the nutters?
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Comment number 6.
At 20th Oct 2009, Billys Dodgy Horse wrote:It's a fix. Call OFCOM this instant!!!
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Comment number 7.
At 20th Oct 2009, TommyReckless wrote:nice flowers. Is that a giant candle?
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Comment number 8.
At 20th Oct 2009, joncass07 wrote:Hey all you should check out
The Joe Cornish Appreciation Society of Facebook!!!!
Save Boggins
xoxoxoxoxox
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Comment number 9.
At 20th Oct 2009, Billys Dodgy Horse wrote:...although this is certainly very good. It actually doesn't follow the rules. It's not Karaoke and you asked for karaoke.
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Comment number 10.
At 21st Oct 2009, Daisyisfurious wrote:I fancy him.
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Comment number 11.
At 21st Oct 2009, Dr Roobles wrote:@PC Murdoch ... I hear that it was all cleared with Big British Castle lawyer-ish types in case anyone got uppity about it.
IMO, Mr Mercer took Cornballs' song and did exactly what the judges wanted: 'we're just looking for fun performances of these songs.'
And the instructions did say download the backing track, but there's nothing in the rest of the instructions which says you have to use it. They said 'Make a video of yourself performing the song' - which is what Ben did. And he did it brilliantly, which is why he won.
It's all good! Just enjoy it!
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Comment number 12.
At 22nd Oct 2009, chalkey79 wrote:Well done Ben, do Cornballs proud!!
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Comment number 13.
At 23rd Oct 2009, paulinelaila wrote:All this user's posts have been removed.Why?
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