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Listening to a recording of your own voice can sometimes be unpleasant.

But this reaction isn't uncommon or new. In fact, a US study from 1967 first coined the psychological term ‘voice confrontation’, a phrase used to describe the experience of a person disliking the sound of their own voice. But why does this happen? And is there any way of overcoming it?

What happens when we speak and why do we dislike what we hear?

One of the first thoughts we may have when we hear a recording of our own voice is, “Do I really sound like that?”. A physiological explanation for this feeling is that we never truly hear our own voices when we talk - at least not in that way that others do.

We tend to hear our own voice in two ways - internally through the bones in our head, which produce deeper and lower-frequency vibrations; and externally, as sound waves spread and reach our ear drums.

However, when listening to a recording, we are removing the bone conduction responsible for delivering lower-frequencies from the equation. This results in us hearing our voices in a much higher pitch than what we’re used, which can sometimes be surprising.

In a 2013 study led by Penn State Harrisburg and Albright College, 80 participants were asked to rate the attractiveness of a selection of voice recordings. Unknowingly to them, this selection also included a recording of their own voice. Results concluded that participants rated their own voices significantly higher when they didn’t recognise it as their own.

There is also a psychological reaction to consider when we listen to our own voices. Dr George Fieldman, a chartered member of the British Psychology Society, told 91�ȱ� Bitesize, “I think when we hear our own voices, we have very high standards about how we should sound.”

Voices can help form an important part of our identity, and when they don’t meet our standards, it can produce an aversive response, such as cringe or discomfort.

What makes us cringe and how can we overcome it?

Cringing at our voices is a particularly contemporary phenomenon. Dr Fieldman explained, “It’s one of those odd things that we do in the modern world which, to our ancestors, would have never been impossible.”

He believes this is particularly heightened when we consider that we’re living in a world where recording what we say and do has never been more prolific.

Recording your voice can sometimes feel like an out-of-body experience - in the same way that seeing a picture or video of your face that isn’t a mirror image can sometimes be a shock. Dr Fieldman believes that we often dislike what we hear on a recording because we often fear how we’re coming across, but he also assures us that it is possible to confront the cringe.

“Like most things of this nature, if you listen to your voice a lot, the cringe will decline.” He explained.

There are many ways to get comfortable with the sound of your voice. Trying to shift your focus to what you say, opposed to how you sound, can make a difference. For example, recording a video of yourself talking can help contextualise your voice alongside your facial expressions and gestures, instead of isolating how different your voice sounds. It might also help reduce any camera anxiety too!

It has also been proven that breathing exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing, can improve vocal quality. This type of breathing can help produce a deeper voice and create natural projection. Research also shows that diaphragmatic breathing may aid body relaxation responses and reduce stress.

So the next time you hear your voice on the recording - don’t judge yourself too harshly. Chances are you’re just used to hearing yourself in a different way.

This article was published in July 2023