91�ȱ�

This article was first published in May 2021.

When you feel low or anxious, it can be hard in the moment to think that you’ll ever feel better. But you can, and when you do, you might look back on the person you were during your difficult times and wish you could give your younger self some reassurance.

In a new series of 91�ȱ� Bitesize videos called Dear Younger Me, a number of young people have done just that, writing and recording letters to their younger selves.

Writing a letter to a version of yourself that was going through a hard time can be really helpful. We spoke to Dr Roslyn Law, a clinical psychologist with the Anna Freud Centre, to find out why.

A clearer narrative

When we look back on our childhood, we tend to remember events in bits and pieces, as opposed to seeing them as having a beginning, middle and an end. Dr Law says this happens even more starkly “when there have been times that have been much more emotionally charged or difficult or distressing.”

In particular, when remembering these more upsetting life events, you’re quite likely to remember it in terms of how you felt at the time: “How your body felt, emotionally how you felt, the fear that you felt.”

Also, when you’re younger, you may not have the words to fully express how you feel. Putting it all down on paper when you’re older can be a great way to process things that have happened to you and emotions you’ve felt in a more organised way.

Letter-writing can help put difficult moments in context. You can calmly lay down all of the things that happened and make the memories easier for you to look back on.

Looking back as an older teenager or adult on your childhood, or times in your life that have been difficult, can help provide a different perspective. It may help you to work out why something happened or why you reacted in the way that you did. This can be a great tool in the healing process, as “you sort of become the adult to your child self who just wasn't able to do that,” Dr Law explains.

Need some inspiration to write your own letter? Here are three from the Dear Younger Me series that you can have a watch of.

Forgiving yourself

And finally, Dr Law says letter-writing “can contribute to promoting a more self-soothing, compassionate view of self-forgiveness.”

By recounting events in the form of a letter, you may notice aspects of what happened to you that you hadn’t noticed before, and you might understand better how and why you reacted the way you did to certain events. You may realise for the first time that some things just weren’t your fault and this can help you to quieten “the internalised critic, or blaming voice that could [otherwise] get stuck”, Dr Law says.

Other techniques

As well as writing letters to your younger self, Dr Law says that something she recommends to patients at the end of their therapy treatment is writing a letter, or recording a video message, to their future self.

She explains that this can be an excellent tool in reminding you what helped you if you start to feel low or anxious again in the future.

“When you start to feel that way, it can be difficult to imagine that anyone understands how you feel,” Dr Law says. “But if it's coming from you, knowing that you felt this way before, maybe there's a chance that you can listen to yourself saying ‘this is right now when I'm feeling better, this is what I've learned.’”

If you need support

You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.

If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact , where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

There are more links to helpful organisations on 91�ȱ� Action Line.