91Èȱ¬

The Blue Death
15 Feb 2002

The Archers meets Dr Who in this epic from Tony Keen, a prolific contributor to Fantasy Archers topic of the Archers message board:

Previous part

Read the story from the beginning

Ìý

The Doctor had rapidly organized everyone into moving into the workshop.
George and Greg were placed at the doorway, shotguns in hand.
"Here they come, Doctor," said George. "I must say I don't much like firing
on friends and neighbours. Should we try some warning shots?"
"Mr Barford, I'm afraid your friends and neighbours are already dead. These
creatures are simply alien parasites possessing their bodies."
"Oh well, in that case they'll get both barrels."
"George," said Greg, "there's a couple coming into the yard now."
"Right, let's have 'em." George and Greg took aim, and fired simultaneously.

The two villagers fell down.
"There, that's stopped 'em," said George.
"George," said Greg. "Look." The two villagers were climbing to their feet
again.
"Yes," said the Doctor. "I was rather afraid of that. Try to keep them off
as best you can." With that he ducked back inside the workshop.

Greg and George held the villagers at bay as long as they could. They took
to shooting at their legs, stopping them walking. But then two of the
walking plant creatures appeared. Against these George and Greg's shotguns
were of little effect. One of them was advancing close to the doorway. Greg
took his shotgun by the barrel, and charged at it, swinging the gun like a
club. The creature wrapped its tendrils around Greg's throat. "Helen!" he
cried, before collapsing.

Inside the workshop, Helen turned to see what had happened. "Greg!"

The Doctor grabbed hold of her. "He's dead, but he's sacrificed himself for
you - do you want his death to be in vain?"
"No."
"Then give me some of that cheese!"
"I'm not sure it's exactly the same as the other batch."
"It'll have to do. Mr Barford, give me a couple of shells."
George threw the shells over. The Doctor rapidly shoved cheese in the top of
them, and flung them back to George.

George reloaded the shotgun, and fired at the plant creature. At first,
nothing happened. Then, slowly, the creature fell over, and started to fall
apart.

"It's working, Doctor!"

The Doctor filled another couple of shells, and threw them to George, who
finished off the second plant creature. There were still the villagers, but
now a new force entered the fray. Soldiers appeared in the farmyard, and
quickly finished off the last of the villagers.

The Brigadier walked up to the Doctor.

"Well, there you are Lethbridge-Stewart. You took your time, didn't you?"
"Pleased to see you too, Doctor."
"How did you get here?"
"We found tunnels that came under the force barrier, and brought us to the
east of the village. And along the way we've met an old acquaintance."

Benton led out the Master.

* * *

"Why *should* I help you, Doctor? What have I to gain?"

The Master, the Doctor and the Brigadier were gathered in the kitchen of
Bridge Farm, which the Brigadier had now commandeered as his headquarters.
Benton watched warily from the corner.
"Something very bad is about to happen in this village. Since you are now in
our custody, you're going to be caught up in it. It's in your interests to
help us."
"And after?"
"After? You're going back to prison, where you belong."
"No remission? No time off for good behaviour?" The Master didn't bother to
wait for an answer. "As I said, you offer me nothing."
"You, sir, are impossible!" The Doctor stormed out of the room. The
Brigadier stood, and looked thoughtfully at the Master.
"Well, Lethbridge-Stewart," said the Time Lord. "Are you going to be more
constructive that that overgrown boy scout?"
"Possibly." The Brigadier leant on the table. "If you help us, then I give
you my personal guarantee that you will not be shot by UNIT troops whilst
trying to escape."

The Master looked at the Brigadier. For a moment he wondered whether the
Brigadier might actually be serious. The he realized that he knew his man
too well. Of course the Brigadier was serious.

"Ah. I think you've just made me an offer I can't refuse."

* * *

David Archer was very confused by the young girl who had appeared from
nowhere in his farmyard. But she was most insistent that she be allowed to
use the telephone. David handed her his mobile, while his wife Ruth came out
to we what all the fuss was about.

"Do you know the phone number of Bridge Farm?" Jo asked. David told her, and
she dialled the number. "Hello, is that Mr Archer? No? Who is it?" Jo's face
brightened when she recognized the voice at the other end of the line.
"Brigadier, it's you! Is the Doctor there? You have to tell him that there
are Ice Warriors here. Yes, Ice Warriors."

"Daddy, what's that?" said a little girl, pointing towards the hay barn.

"Oh no, David, look," said Ruth.

Jo turned around. All over the farmyard, Ice Warriors were emerging.

* * *

Jo turned to the Archer family. "When I say run, run," she said. "Run!"

The five of them headed for the Archers' car, and started to pile into it.
Jo was the last, but as she was about to get in, a green claw clamped around
her arm. She banged on the side of the car with her free hand. "Go, go!"

David Archer didn't need telling twice, and sped off in the direction of
Ambridge.

* * *

"Doctor!" shouted the Brigadier. The Doctor came into the room, followed by
George Barford and Joe Grundy.
"What is it, Brigadier?"
"That was Miss Grant. She says she's at somewhere called Brookfield Farm,
and there are Ice Warriors there. Friends of yours?"
"Would you believe me if I said yes and no?"
"Ice Warriors, Daleks, Cybermen - you do get around, don't you, Doctor?"
The Master grinned smugly.
"Mr Barford, where is Brookfield Farm?"
"It's just north of here, on the road."
"Right, let's get moving. And you," he turned to the Master, "will come with
us and tell us what's going on along the way."

"How did you get him to co-operate?" asked the Doctor.
"Oh, I made him see that it was in his best interests."
"I see," the Doctor said, deciding not to pursue the matter at present.
"Brigadier, among all the equipment you brought along, I don't suppose you
had a flame-thrower?"
"There might be one - why?"
"It's the one thing the Ice Warriors can't stand - heat!"

* * *

As the Doctor and the UNIT troops proceeded down the road in the direction
of Brookfield Farm, the Master, at the Brigadier's prompting, filled his
companions in on the details of the Ice Warriors' plot.

"It's very simple. An Ice Warrior vessel arrived here about twenty thousand
years ago. It was damaged, and unable to maintain contact with Mars. So its
commander put the crew into suspended animation, and had automatic systems bury the ship, to keep it concealed while the self-repair systems did their job."

"So why are they still here?"
"Their chronometer failed. They never woke up."
"Until you found them, I suppose," said the Doctor.
The Master held up his hands in modesty. "I played my part."
"And what about the walking plants, and the possessed villagers?" asked the
Brigadier.
"Martian biological warfare. They created a series of semi-intelligent
spores, which could animate plant and animal matter, and be directed by
anyone armed with the correct pheromones."
"So where is their ship?"
"Directly underneath Brookfield Farm. But this is all futile, you know.
You'll never get close to it, and once the ship is allowed to dig itself
out, nothing in your puny planet's technology can stop it."
"If only I could get inside the ship, and destroy it from within," mused the
Doctor.
"We've got your TARDIS with us, Doctor," said Sergeant Benton. "Couldn't you
use that to materialize inside it?"
"Unfortunately, Sergeant, the Time Lords took away my memory of the
dematerialization codes."
"Mebbe that's true," said Joe Grundy. "But they didn't take mine."
"Right," said the Brigadier. "Sergeant Benton, take Mr Horrobin back through
the tunnels with the Doctor and Mr Grundy. The rest of us will head on to
Brookfield Farm."
"May I remind you, Brigadier, that I don't take orders from you," said the
Doctor.
"And do you have a better idea?"
"Well -" The Doctor never got to answer, because a UNIT soldier shouted out,
"Sir!", and then a shot rang out.

Two Ice Warriors were stood by a tree at the side of the road, and started
firing at the UNIT party.

* * *

* * *

Four of the UNIT soldiers had been cut down by the Ice Warriors' sonic weapons, and their FN rifles did little damage against the Martians' armour. "Corporal Jones," shouted the Brigadier. "Bring up the flame-thrower. Frazer, Pike, give him covering fire!" Jones moved swiftly into a firing position, and then unleashed the flame-thrower at the Ice Warriors. They both collapsed in the heat. "Right, let's go, everyone." The UNIT troops got themselves up off the ground.

Suddenly Benton came running up. "The Master and Clive Horrobin have gone, sir." "Damn. Well, we'll to make the best of it. Sergeant, you'll have to lead the Doctor through the tunnels as best you can." "Right sir." "Well, let's go, Sergeant," said the Doctor. "Right men, let's go," said the Brigadier.

* * *

The Doctor didn't remember much about the dash through the tunnels. It was dark, but with Benton's memory and the Doctor's TARDIS locator showing them the right way, they were soon at the far end, where UNIT's main force was gathered. Lieutenant Beresford came out. "What's going on, Sergeant?" "Sorry sir, no time to explain. This way, Doc!"

Benton showed the Doctor to the TARDIS. The Doctor and Joe got in. "Right," said Joe. "It's a long time since I've done this." He shifted a few controls. The TARDIS' control column lifted and fell, and the engines started up. But then they died away. "'Ere, I think they've disabled your ship's systems as well." Joe disappeared under the console.

* * *

The UNIT troops had reached Brookfield Farm. There had been an exchange of fire between them and the Ice Warriors. The Ice Warriors' sonic guns caused havoc amongst the UNIT troops, but wherever Corporal Jones and his flame-thrower went, the Ice Warriors retreated. Then Ice Lord Garantalyr stepped out into the centre of the farmyard. He held Jo Grant in one claw, and pointed a sonic gun at her head. "Cease your attack, or I destroy the girl." "Cease fire," ordered the Brigadier.

* * *

"Getting anywhere?" asked the Doctor. "Not sure – I think I might be able to get it running, but there's something not quite right." "Why don't you try reversing the polarity of the neutron flow?" "Ah, that'll do it."

* * *

UNIT and the Ice Warriors were maintaining a Mexican stand-off in the yard of Brookfield Farm. Suddenly, there was a rumbling from under the ground. "What on earth's that, sir?" asked Captain Yates. "I don't know," said the Brigadier, "but I think we should be elsewhere. Everybody back!" In the confusion, Jo slipped the grip of the Ice Lord, and fled. She was a hundred yards away when a massive explosion destroyed Brookfield.

* * *

As the smoke settled, the familiar sound of the TARDIS' engines could be heard, and the blue police box materialized on the road. The Doctor and Joe Grundy got out. "So, what happened?" asked the Brigadier. "We managed to get the TARDIS inside the Ice Warriors' ship, and I set the engines to overload. They've gone." "And look who I found," said Captain Yates. He led out the Master.

"So, defeated again, old chap," said the Doctor. "Yes, but at least I shall have the satisfaction of destroying you!" The Master pulled out a pistol. Moving faster than would be expected of a man of his apparent age, Joe Grundy pushed the Doctor out of the way, and took the Master's shot in the chest. Two UNIT soldiers shot dead the Master.

* * *

Jo rushed over to Joe Grundy. "Oh, no!" "A bad end," said the Brigadier, "but at least we're rid of the Master at last." "You think so?" said the Doctor, who was kneeling by the Master's body. He put his hands to his neck, and pulled off a facemask. Under the mask, the dead man was revealed as Clive Horrobin.

"Can we do anything for Joe Grundy?" said Jo Grant, cradling the old man in her arms. "It's all right me dear," said Joe faintly. "I just need to see my Edward. Where's my Edward?"

"I'm here, Granddad." The tall, gangly youth appeared as if out of nowhere, and knelt down beside his grandfather. Then, to the astonishment of almost all the onlookers, Edwards seemed to merge into Joe's body. There was a glow, and when it faded, Joe had gone, and Edward was left in his place, and in his clothes. He stood up, and brushed off the dust.

"Of course," said the Doctor. "But I don't understand," said Jo. "What's happened?" "Ed Grundy never really existed – he was simply a projection of Joe's future self."

"But he's changed his appearance?" "It happens, Miss Grant – when I first met the Doctor he didn't look like he does now."

"What will you do now?" the Doctor asked Joe/Ed. "Well, the first thing I have to do is put things straight here. These are good people, and they don't deserve the psychological scars these events will leave." "So you'll alter their memories?" "Aye." "Well," said the Doctor, "I don't approve of what you're doing, but I can't stop you. However, I want your promise that after this they'll be no more interference with these people's proper development."

"Aye," said Joe/Ed. "I think I might be on my way after this – go back to exploring the universe. I think I remembered where I left my TARDIS." "In Grange Farm, I suppose?" "In Grange Farm? Doctor, it is Grange Farm." With that, walked off.

The Brigadier turned to his men. "Right, Captain Yates, conduct a thorough search of the area for the Master." He turned to the Doctor. "We won't find him, but we have to follow procedure." The Doctor watched Joe/Ed as he walked over the Borsetshire fields, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Jo walked up beside him. "Penny for them?" "Oh, Jo, I was just thinking about the Ice Warriors. All they wanted was a new home, to escape their own dying planet. We should have been able to negotiate with them." "That's not all of it, is it?" said Jo, following the Doctor's gaze. "You're jealous of Joe. He's got the freedom you want." "Well, you might be right there." "You'll get it soon, Doctor. I'm sure." "Well, if I am, I need to get back to UNIT HQ with the TARDIS, and get back to work." He turned to walk up to Bridge Farm and Bessie. Jo followed him. "Don't forget you promised me you'd take a proper holiday."

* * *

Several weeks later, the Doctor was sprawled across a bench on the Village Green in Ambridge. Jo had been right. This was a very relaxing place to come and rest for a while. Still, he couldn't stay here forever. He got up, put his jelly babies back in his pocket, and wrapped his scarf around his neck one more time. Then he headed for the TARDIS.

* * *

Brian Aldridge met George Barford outside the Village Shop. "George," he said, "you know, I could have sworn I saw an old-style police box in the grounds of St Stephen's this morning. But when I looked for it again, I couldn't see it anywhere. "I wouldn't worry about it, Brian," said George.

The Doctor was right. Some brains were just too stubborn for any kind of mind control.

THE END

Dedicated to the memory of Jon Pertwee and Roger Delgado

Scorchio! Read Tony Keen's Fast Show parody

<<Back