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Stuart Brown has spent a lifetime in engineering and he and his wife, Julia, were looking forward to a happy retirement until she became ill with multiple sclerosis 35 years ago.

Stuart says: 鈥淚t means that slowly, day-by-day, a bit of her body is falling off, she just can鈥檛 use it any more. She goes to bed and wakes up the next day thinking, I wonder what I can鈥檛 do today, which is very depressing.

鈥淎t the moment, all she can move is her right hand and arm. She uses an electric wheelchair to get around."

Stuart has to get Julia showered and dressed and provides all his wife鈥檚 personal care, with help from a personal assistant who comes in for 20 hours a week. 鈥淥ther than that I鈥檓 working for 120 hours a week for nothing鈥�, says Stuart.

Former engineer now designs solutions

Stuart gave up full time work as an engineer in 1992 and says; 鈥淚t was only when I came close to having a nervous breakdown that I went to get help. I now make sure I relax every night and do deep breathing exercises and it鈥檚 nice, to be able to say, that鈥檚 been a good day today.听I have half an hour at the start and end of each day doing this before I start the chores.

鈥淚t鈥檚 very frustrating for my wife as she was the doer and now I do all the cooking, shopping and washing and even cutting up her food. I鈥檝e became a house-mother!鈥�, jokes Stuart

Stuart鈥檚 hobby is caravanning and he and his wife now enjoy a fully adapted caravan, which he designed himself. 鈥淲e just park it in the pub car park, it has a lift for the wheelchair and we make the bed up before we go in the pub.

鈥淚t鈥檚 keeping my mind going. I鈥檓 an improviser and now the caravan is fully wheelchair accessible. I鈥檝e modifed quite a few other things, including a sewing machine so Julia can use it.

Angry at unfairness

Stuart is angry that when he retired, his carers benefit was withdrawn: 鈥淚t鈥檚 as if the state assumes you鈥檙e retiring from caring too, but the opposite is true, the caring goes on. We just do what we do and don鈥檛 realise it鈥檚 anything special鈥�.

Stuart wants the York Carers Forum to help carers recognise themselves as such and get the help they are entitled to.

鈥淚 just hope that more carers will come out and discover there鈥檚 help and support out there."

There are six million carers in the UK and they save the country an estimated 拢87 million pounds a year in potential care costs.

For more information about the York Carers Forum call the CSV Actionline at 91热爆 Radio York on 01904 610606 or fill in the form below.