91�ȱ�

PADDY AND THE FRAU

Paddy was a P.O.W.
locked up in a Prison Camp.
Somewhere in the Fatherland
where it was cold and damp.

One day as he marched to work,
the work Commando passed a wall.
And Paddy noticed in a garden,
the blonde bint so cute and tall.

She was hacking at a cabbage stalk,
that made young Paddy wince.
And mentally he imagined those fingers,
shredding his flute to mince.

Then with ardour of rampant wild rabbit.
Paddy devised a way to communicate.
And dropped a note from beneath his coat,
right next to her garden gate.

As the Commando turned round the corner,
the wench hastily picked up the note.
Then in the gloom of her warm bedroom,
she read it and began to gloat.

“Meet me in the woods on Sunday”
Paddy had hastily scribed.
“And we shall not have problems”
“for the Guard is already bribed”

The note was then burned to black ash,
and as the smoke curled up to the ceiling.
The woman thought of many things,
till all her senses were reeling.

“Methinks of mein man on der Rusky front”
hevink it off mit a Rusky bit”
“So I vill hetch my liddle plot”
“und heff a liddle bit ov a randy Brit!”

Then every Sunday Paddy would be escorted,
by a bribed Kraut Guard wi’ a gun.
To the greenwood just outside the village,
where Paddy would collect rabbit food in the sun.

The Camp Commandants rabbits got fatter,
on the greens collected from within the greenwood.
And outside the wood the Guard didn’t matter,
as he heard the contented sigh and understood.

With a grin like a Cheshire cat wi’ kittens,
Paddy walked from wood like a ruptured duck.
And the Guard helped him back to the P.O.W. Camp
where he was greeted by, “Hey! half yer luck!”

But the house Frau was already married,
and Paddy finally got home safe to his wife.
There are many strange untold stories of WW2
but then there are many strange facets to life.

Tom Barker

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