听 Where do you draw the line between fan and fanatic? The answer may well lie in Earthlings: Ugly Bags Of Mostly Water, a documentary about the Klingon Language Institute (KLI). Yes, it actually exists. And to prove it, the makers have rounded up a bunch of Star Trek lovers whose devotion to a made-up alien tongue amuses, endears and occasionally disturbs. Ironically, it's the best-known Klingon in the galaxy, Worf (aka actor Michael Dorn), who provides the most level-(fore)headed perspective.
There's nothing wrong with having a passion, argues the bass-voiced star; all the same, he'd rather hear Shakespeare in the original English. Nevertheless, we get a few translated lines from Hamlet, as well as a Klingon rendition of Patsy Cline's Crazy. Then there are those who make everyday usage of the language: one chap likes inflicting it on bemused waitresses, while another confesses, "For years, I spoke to my son only in Klingon."
"LO-FI SCI-FI LOOK"
The man responsible for all this? Not Trek creator Gene Roddenberry but one Marc Okrand, who invented the lingo for 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture and has been developing it ever since. Alas, there are no TV or film clips of the war-loving race to provide context. Instead, director Alexandre O Philippe throws in semi-abstract visual asides (mainly involving lampshades) that give the picture a lo-fi sci-fi look different from most talking head docs. Earthlings' appeal will probably be limited to Trekkies, linguists and psychologists; but there's enough evidence to suggest that the Klingon language will live long and prosper.
Earthlings: Ugly Bags Of Mostly Water is released in UK cinemas on Friday 8th September 2006.
